Don't MAKE Me Get My Flying Monkeys

Going Home!

2011-11-12T21:07:00.002-07:00

I am going home for Thanksgiving! I am so excited! I am going to cook everything my mom used to make and hopefully no one will go to the ER. Wish me luck, better yet, wish my brother and our guests luck! I promise to post pictures and yes, daddy in heaven, I am buying the pies so the fire department can have the holiday off!

Then, after I get back from Montana, I will have to work 4 count them FOUR days and then I will be OFF TO MEXICO! I can almost taste the margaritas!

Love you all, hug your family close and have a wonderful night!

I can has pazzport

2011-10-13T21:16:00.003-06:00

The world is my oyster. Life is good.

San Diego, the last days

2011-08-28T19:29:00.019-06:00

My friend Melissa and I in Spokane Airport getting ready for our trip to beautiful San Diego!
The trip was to our companies Celebration, but the pictures below are of the last day we spent in SD. We had a blast. I will write about Celebration at a later date. The pictures are courtesy of Melissa, I, gasp, didn't take my fancy camera, because I wanted to live this event, not photograph it.

The Weston Gaslamp. Our home for 5 days.

What I'd been waiting for...my feet in salt water. Does it get any better?

Tarra and I astern, see how I'm getting a hang of the pirate talk? Yar Matey!

Tarra, Melissa and I (I'm in the middle with the huge grin--I'm on water, woohoo!)

Landing at Coronado

The end of the US!

Sea Lions lounging.

Submarine

The boat used in the Pirates of the Caribbean

Star of India

Naval Museum in San Diego Harbor

The last stop on the trip, Salt Lake City and then we were home, again.

What a difference a few months makes!

2011-08-27T09:25:00.004-06:00

Pretty surprising what eating the best food on the planet can do for a gal, eh?

I can't believe the difference in, well everything, since i started my wellness program. I am happy ALL the time, and it's not because of the weight loss, it's because I feel so darned good. Something has happened on a cellular level and it feels AMAZING! I have energy every single day, my mind is clearer, my thoughts are brighter, it's like a big cloud had been hanging over my head and NOW IT IS GONE!

The "after 6 months" photo was taken a couple of months ago. More changes have happened since then. My skin is SO much nicer now, my hair is back to thick and healthy after the wild chemo ride, and my body is getting into a proper shape (I always said round is a shape, but I'm pretty sure it's not a proper shape for the human body). It feels like the real me had been on an extended vacation and now I'm back!

Anyway, more later! I'm off to enjoy this amazing weekend!

Daddy's Ashes

2011-08-03T21:04:00.016-06:00

It's been over 2 years since Dad died. Not an hour has passed that I haven't thought of him. He was a great man. My mom was a great woman. They were fantastic parents. We were truly blessed in every way. In fact my brother and I often say we hit the parental jackpot.

Daddy was raised at Mystic Lake Power Plant. Dad, my brother and his crew often worked at the power plant facilities after dad moved to Absarokee and started his construction company. The picture above is of the power plant itself, which daddy and the crew re-roofed many years ago (that is copper roofing by the way). Dad loved doing jobs at Mystic, and he did a lot of them over the years. He loved it there more than anywhere, so that, of course, is where Mike and I decided to spread his ashes. We waited for over two years to do it...for many reasons, including the biggest one; we weren't ready to let go of him.

But finally, we were ready, and as we walked up the mountain today I remembered all the awesome times we had on the trail in years gone by. I could almost hear daddy asking if I needed a ride (when I was just a tot he would hoist me up on his backpack and I'd ride up there through the rough spots and on the switchbacks. I was utterly fearless because I knew my daddy wouldn't let anything happen to me). The memory was sad but more importantly, it was beautiful.

Mike and I at Fish Rock

Often during these trips, he told us stories about running up and down the steep trail to the lake. He and his siblings fished and hunted as often as possible during his childhood in the high mountains of Montana. He often mentioned a place he called Fish Rock, which was just up from the river on the trail where they would clean the day's catch of Rainbow Trout. He spoke with such joy of those days, and that is where we thought he should be.

Mike spreading daddy's ashes

It was hard to see daddy go, though I knew it wasn't really him. I always was daddy's girl and that hasn't changed in the 2 years he has been gone. But I know he is where he was meant to be. He loved that place with all of his heart and he shared that love with us and we will carry it with us always, just as he did. Thanks for everything, daddy. You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.

Thanks, also, to my brother's college roommate and best friend through all these years. He and his family were there with us through this hard day. Fred was "adopted" by my family after college and my parents both loved him very much. I know daddy was happy today to have them there with us. I only wish Wolf had been there as well.

Who'd a thunk it?

2011-04-29T22:18:00.006-06:00

I've decided I don't want to go into detail about what has gone on during the last 2 years, it's in the past and I'm all about right now. I will give you the extremely brief version, though, as it may give some insight into why I am where I am right now.

Not long after dad died, I reconnected with a friend from high school and needing a change of scenery, moved to Idaho. Yes, I said Idaho. Really, the parts I've seen have been beautiful, but who moves from Montana to Idaho? Apparently my high school friend and I,` but I digress.

I got a job and a half and things on the surface were good, but inside I was grieving and sad and it began to take a toll on me. My half job required me to be on my feet for 4-8 hours at a time on concrete floors and my rheumatoid arthritis, which had been tolerable for the past 20 years, became quite intolerable, which added to my depression. During my "every six month" CA 125 test, the levels were significantly elevated, so I began a short 6-month course of treatment. As you might imagine, it was not the best of times, though it was nice to know that it was caught extremely early and was quite curable.

I chose not to share this information with my brother, son and cousins, but have done so recently. :) My two best local friends helped me through it and I was able to continue working both of my jobs. As I said, it was completely curable, but it was scary and hard and miserable and I am so glad it is over! It was difficult enough going through knowing the end result would be good, I can't imagine not having any idea what the end result was going to be.

Anyway, the big C was gone, but I still had the RA to deal with. Not liking the remedies offered by my rheumatologist, I turned to a more natural approach. My body was toxic from a lifetime of yo-yo dieting, eating the wrong foods, drinking the wrong things, working in a very chemical environment (scrubber operator at a platinum smelter), being around second hand smoke, eating foods that were laden with chemicals, meat that had hormones and steroids added. I had been through 6 months of chemo and could feel it in every part of my body from my brain to my swollen, gnarled up little toe. I was a ticking time bomb and I knew it.

By the grace of the universe, I was introduced to a woman whose life had been changed by a health and wellness program and she was kind enough to share her experience with me. After I heard her story, I started her program. I replaced two meals with pure healthy nutrition. Four days a month, I did a cellular cleanse to detoxify my body, and it was (and is) SO easy! The program provides the best nutrition on the planet and a way to cleanse the toxins out of the body, It worked for me, better than I could ever have wished for.

Good nutrition makes for a healthier body, go figure.

Two years ago today...

2011-04-06T19:58:00.005-06:00

I was sitting with my dad at the hospital. I truly believed he would survive his second bout of pneumonia in six months and go back home to the nursing home in a few days. I believed that so strongly that about midnight, I went home to get some rest. At 2am, the hospital called to tell me he was gone. I so wish I had stayed.

You call THIS Progress(ive)?

2011-04-04T14:24:00.005-06:00

My cousin Kay (we call her the Mother Theresa of our family because she gives until she bleeds) had just gotten her new car when a kid (cop's son, go figure) trying to run a yellow light, hit her at speeds way above the limit. The car was twice totaled (front end damage and rear end damage) because he was going so fast it pushed her into the truck in front of her. Her injuries are bad, she can't work and Progressive is jerking her around in every way possible.

Through NO FAULT of her own, she is now homeless (they won't pay for lost wages because she had a contract to provide services), the exact same car as she had is now $2,000 more because we got a good deal on the first one and there are no good deals now with the Libya fiasco going on, and they wouldn't pay the difference despite the car only being weeks old, and has a whole host of medical issues including badly broken ribs, shattered teeth, and a very bad back injury they are trying to say was only aggravated by the accident because she had back surgery before. So tell me this...she was able to lift and care for a 10 year old boy who has CP and can't walk at all, but the accident only aggravated the injury? C'mon people...

Moral of the story, DON'T BUY PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE and if you are ever in a wreck that wasn't your fault in any way, pray to God that the other person doesn't have Progressive Insurance.

Flo, you should be ashamed!

Emily, the best furchild in the universe

2011-03-26T15:48:00.000-06:00

Hugs and Loves...

2011-03-10T22:16:00.004-07:00

I know I promised to tell my story and I am trying very hard to put it into words. Since I last posted much, it's been a wild ride and I am still processing it. I know one thing for certain...life is short, and life is precious. LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!

More soon, I promise.

Hugs and loves and I am so happy you are still here...

I guess it's time I tell my story...

2011-02-28T00:03:00.002-07:00

I haven't really blogged much since daddy died. His death took a whole lot out of me. I was always a daddy's girl and the last many years before he died, we got to spend a lot of time together. I cherish that time and I expected there to be a lot more of it. Like when Dale died, I just knew there would be more time and was heartbroken when there wasn't.

So enough of that for now...I've decided it's time I tell my story. It's been so long since I have blogged, I will probably have an audience of none, but I'm going to tell it anyway. But not tonight. Tonight I am going to crawl into my warm, cozy bed.

There's always tomorrow for blogging.

What a difference a day makes...

2010-12-01T22:35:00.009-07:00

The trees were really beautiful this fall. I was almost late for work because I ran back to get the camera for this shot. I thought the weather was about to change...sadly, I was right.

Emmy out prowling in the privacy fenced, impervious to trespassers, and escape attempts yard, for what would be the last time for awhile. It turns out she's a fair weather cat. She hasn't set foot outside since the snow started falling.

Poor Talouse has snow on his antlers. What's a poor moose to do?

The newspaper said that we got more snow in the past two days than we did in the entire past year. Where the h*ll is this global warming they keep telling us about? I say bring it on!

Thanksgiving

2010-11-23T11:09:00.004-07:00

I am thankful for many things in my life...great friends, fantastic family and the love of the world's most wonderful cat.

What are you thankful for?

Who is The Dalai Laurie?

2010-06-27T20:35:00.004-06:00

The author of this blog, who drove 1200 miles with only Eckhart Tolle CD's to listen to.

Ohhhhhmmmmmmm....

Just a little bit of housecleaning...

2010-05-18T16:00:00.010-06:00

It has recently become evident to me that I need to focus on the positive more and clear my mind and life of negativity. It's been a long time a-comin' (as my dad would have said), but the time is here.

There were signs along the way, small ones, then larger ones, and they were signs that I should have paid more attention to, but I ignored them as I have done often in the past. There's no reason to go into any of it here...suffice it to say it's a brand new day and a new way for me.

Now, let's get this party started!

I resemble that remark

2010-05-01T21:57:00.005-06:00

I recently joined Freecycle.

If you don't already know, the Freecycle network is a non-profit organization serving to help people and reduce the amount of waste going into landfills. I joined the local group in order to find homes for several items I no longer had a use for.

People who need an item, or have an item to give, email the group moderator who either approves or denies the request. If approved, it is emailed out to all the members who then respond to the individual.

Today as I was reading requests from folks on Freecycle, I came upon this one:

Gordon S [CoeurdaleneFreecycleTM] seeking marbles.

As sorry as I am to hear that Gordon has lost his, it gave me an idea. Since I seem to be in a similar situation, I think I will try asking for some myself.

Beam me up

2010-04-16T23:32:00.002-06:00

Stardate: 04162010, 1522 hours Pacific Time
Captains log:

The USS Mazda 6 was traveling at just below warp speed on I-90, a few miles from Coeur d'Alene, ID. The first mate noticed an anomaly in the space time continuum and attempted to photograph it.

Because the crew was traveling in cognito so as not to unnerve the natives of this primitive planet, the only photographic equipment available was a cell phone with a .2 gigabyte camera.

The image, and other pertinent data was transmitted to the Star Fleet Commander who will analyze it to determine if the planet Earth is undergoing rapid global warming or just enjoying a beautiful spring day.

Stay tuned for updates.

It's been a year...

2010-04-07T00:01:00.003-06:00

...since daddy died, and still not a day goes by that I don't think of him and miss him. Sometimes it doesn't seem real, and part of that might be because I moved away not long after he passed, but it might be a bit of denial on my part as well.

I know I haven't kept in touch very well; I haven't had a lot of time to blog or email, or do much of anything but work. I guess that is what I do when I don't know what else to do...I work.

Most weeks I put in 55-60 hours, some a little more, a few a little less. I walk quite a bit, dote on my cat and of course enjoy the company of my friends and loved ones here in Idaho.

I still have my Montana phone number, but I did finally step up and get a local plate for my car (at the urging of a policeman who stopped me to tell me I was traveling a wee bit too fast).

I guess now I can truly say...

For Cathy...

2010-01-11T23:46:00.003-07:00

Still alive...still kickin...just busier than ever, in fact, life's a blur right now.

That doesn't mean I don't miss you all and hope to catch up with you soon.

In the meantime, send me an email sometime!

Love,

Laurie

Random act of kindness

2009-10-13T22:03:00.004-06:00

I have a slow leak in my tire. It literally takes a month for it to even look like it is going down and I've taken it in twice to be repaired and they can't find out what is wrong with it. I am pretty sure they think it is my head, but I'm telling you, there is very little in my head lately...and certainly not that!

Anyway, I digress...

Tonight, driving home, I decided it was time to check my bad tire. I pulled into a gas station and up to the air dispenser. I got out of the car and into the pouring rain. Mind you it had been windy and cloudy all day and pretty cold too, so the rain really was no surprise. I stood there looking forlorn, wishing I had stopped to buy a tire gauge.

As I was about to add air to the tire, a young man walked out of the station and towards his car. He glanced over at me asked me if everything was OK. I told him about my tire gauge dilema and the story of the mysteriously leaking tire and he reached in his car and pulled out a tire gauge. I smiled and reached for it and he asked if he minded if he did it. Of course I said that I didn't and he not only checked and filled the tire I was concerned about, he checked and added or removed air on the other three as well!

When I asked if I could do anything for him he said no, that he was happy to be of assistance. I told him how wonderful he was and I really meant it.

I drove away crying over his kindness.

Adventures with Gordy

2009-09-01T19:28:00.015-06:00

I spent this afternoon with Gordon, my best friend's father, touring the Museum at the Brig at Farragut Park. The museum is dedicated to the Navy personnel who trained there and is open from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

It will also be open on September 12, 2009 for a reunion of the naval trainees. Those who would like to attend are asked to meet at the Museum at the Brig at 9AM and bring a sack lunch. Donuts and coffee will be served.

Gordon trained there in preparation for service in World War II, so it was a most interesting tour.

Here Gordon signs in at the special registrar for returning personnel.

The map is of the whole park, which is located on Lake Pend Oreille in Idaho.

The museum curators left one of the "cells" as it had been in the past.

This is a model made by local high school students. It depicts the camp as it was when Gordon was there.

This is one of the many displays.

As is this.

This plaque is located outside the museum at the entrance/exit point.

These plaques, next to the commemorative plaque, contain the signatures of all who attended the 2006 reunion. Gordy is standing next to the plaque containing his name!

It was impossible to get a picture that showed the impressiveness of this courtyard, lined with flags of all types.

This is an original firetruck from that era.

As I walked around the exercise yard of the old brig, it was hard not to think of all the men who died during the war that brought this place to life.

This piece of art was sculpted by one of the men who trained at Farragut. A close-up of the head would show that there are hundreds, possibly thousands of heads carved into the massive sculpture.

Thanks, Gordon, for a wonderful afternoon.

Just a few photos as we head into the weekend...

2009-08-21T13:59:00.008-06:00

There's not much I like better than spending the weekend on the boat.

Gone but Never Forgotten

2009-08-14T20:56:00.007-06:00

Olga Kelley: born August 20, 1923-died August 15, 2001

Some beach...some where...

2009-06-25T11:44:00.007-06:00

It seems I have no time for blogging anymore...no time to write or even more importantly, no time to read your blogs.

I seriously considered shutting down the blog...but hate to do so because it has been a life journal for me and I have LOVED sharing it with all of you.

But things have changed so much in my life in the past few years, and now it is time for another big transition. As a result I will have even less time than before.

With that in mind, I have decided to take a hiatus of undetermined length.

I will check back from time to time to let you know how I'm doing and catch up with what is going on in your lives, but for the most part I will be offline.

Big hugs to all...

Laurie

Life is good...

2009-06-15T16:48:00.003-06:00

The bird that loves me...

2009-05-29T13:08:00.003-06:00

Our friend Pat lives in the nursing home. She is a truly wonderful lady and we go to visit her nearly every day. She has an African Grey Parrot named Pepi, who she has had since he was a tiny hatchling. He is very smart and very busy.

Pat loves Pepi and Pepi loves Pat, but Pepi will not let Pat touch him. Every time she tries, he bites her. He also bites everyone else that tries...except for me. I can pet him, stroke him, feed him and kiss him right on the beak and he has never so much as looked like he was going to bite.

Pat has decided that Pepi is in love with me. And by the look of it, he may well be. According to Pat, who is quite the expert, what Pepi is doing in this video is the Parrot Mating Dance. He is also chittering, which is, apparently, part of the ritual.

I may not have had the best luck with men in my life, but I think that this one is a keeper...what do you think?

National Nursing Home Week

2009-05-15T13:04:00.006-06:00

Even with daddy gone, the nursing home continues to be a big part of our lives. My brother and I take turns going to see the gang and usually make it over there at least six times a week. I go in for lunch or after work and he goes in on the weekends. It is so much fun to see everyone and they really seem to enjoy our being there.

This week, in case you didn't know, is National Nursing Home Week! In honor of that, the staff at the home held various events during the week, including Green Day, Home Town Colors Day and May Flowers Day!

As you may have guessed, I was invited to participate as well.

I don't have a picture of my personal celebration of Green Day, but rest assured that I was resplendent (or ridiculous...you know, one of those words that starts with R) in my green hoodie and blue jeans!

Since my home town colors are orange and black, and orange makes me look....well....orange, I had to go to the store and purchase something to wear. I am pawsative that I looked stunning (or stunned, more likely), what do you think? Orange you glad I didn't show you more of this picture?

May Flowers Day provided yet another problem. I don't own a single item of clothing that has flowers on it, so I had to get very creative, which is quite a stretch for me.

I'm not really sure who had more fun at these events, the residents or the staff. There was so much giggling and laughing and carrying on that by the time I had to go back to work each day, my face was sore from smiling.

My hips were sore as well, because my little sweet Marilyn thought I should do the Hula on May Flowers Day, which was fine, but I was trying to do it from a rolling chair and it kind of got away from me.

As I've said many a time before...it's all fun and games until someone breaks a hip!

Pitter Patter

2009-05-11T16:19:00.005-06:00

It's a given...if I wash and detail my car, straighten my hair and take a walk without a coat, it will rain. Granted, all of these things have to happen within a 24 hour time span for the power of the cosmos to trigger torrential downpours, but it never fails to happen. Clouds in the sky or no...the rains will come.

That could be just enough to frustrate or upset me, but only if I let it and today I chose not to.

Instead I listened intently to the birds...they love the rain, and so did I.

And I smelled the fresh cut grass and the newly bloomed flowers...and the odor was amazing...the smell of spring.

And I looked at the clouds...they weren't gray, they were a mottled combination of silver and white.

And I looked at the children playing in the puddles...and the elderly couple enjoying the pitter patter of the rain on their roof from the sanctuary of their front porch and thought...life IS good.

Just a quick note....

2009-05-10T10:26:00.002-06:00

....to say thank you to the person who nominated me for a Nickelodeon Parents' Picks 2009 Best Local Blog Award. Whoever you are, thank you.

I'm not going to post a link to the site or add their button thingy to my blog...it has been more than enough of an honor to be nominated.

Have a great day, all...hug your mothers close, OK?

The Dance

2009-05-06T14:15:00.005-06:00

Once again, too lazy to write an official blog post, so I am paraphrasing an email I recently wrote.

Even though daddy is no longer at the nursing home, my brother or I return nearly every day to visit with the friends we have made there.

One of my many favorite residents is Marilyn. She is a wheelchair-bound woman in her late 50’s. She is developmentally disabled and has a wonderful sense of humor. We all adore her. As usual last night, she was sitting by the nurse’s station listening to music. Also, as usual, I danced for/with her and sang along with the music in my own off-key way.

I danced to “Baby, I Need Your Lovin’” and a couple of other songs that I don’t know very well (not that it ever stops me from trying to sing along). She giggled non-stop the entire time and covered her face in the cutest way whenever I hit a sour note (which was often)…then giggled some more. You have no idea how much I love doing that. I pretended to dance away and then danced backwards into her view again and she laughed so hard she snorted.

This went on for ten minutes or longer and by the end of it, we were both in tears from laughter. When I finally finished, she blew me a kiss and said “I love her” (it’s never I love you or I love him, it’s always I love her). I love it…though today, for some reason, my hips are sore…I guess I may be getting too old to do the twist and the Egyptian (just two of the many dances I attempted to do).

Needless to say, “the dance” is often the highlight of my visit. The nurses always tease me, saying that I have way too much energy.

Visiting the nursing home is such a liberating experience. I can fully embrace my inner child and be as goofy and silly as I want to be and know that no one there is going to wonder if I need psychiatric help (lol).

So, that is how things are going for me...

Everything is not sunshine and roses all the time, but it's not all clouds and thorns either.

There's no denying I miss my daddy...miss the touch of his hand, the smell of his hair, the grin he gave me when I said something funny or knowing that he was there for me. But now he is free of the body that was failing him and free from the pain the nurses said he hid from us.

There's a lot to be said for that.

When the snow clears and we can hike up the Mystic Lake Trail to Fish Rock, we will let his ashes drift away in the wind and the remnants of his earthly body will spread out over the place he loved the best.

His spirit, however, will always be with us.

It's Time

2009-04-29T14:20:00.001-06:00

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting, and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought in to in the beginning, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that you want. And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less.

And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. And in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. And that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

~Author Unknown~

Two things...

2009-04-21T11:58:00.003-06:00

I purposely didn't call my son when dad died, because I knew he had worked all night and would be sleeping. There was nothing that could be done for daddy, so I waited until I knew he would be up. It was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make.

As soon as he heard the news he began preparing to come home. He was packed and ready when he went into work to tell his boss, and left from there. He got to Absarokee at around 11:00PM. As my brother said, things seemed better after he arrived.

Wolf helped make the arrangements and did whatever needed to be done. Mostly we all hung out together, told dad stories and hugged a lot. Thursday Wolf and I went to Billings to spend some time with the kidcousins and pick up things that we needed for the service and reception.

One of the things that we needed to do was pick up dad's ashes from the funeral home, which we did on Friday.

We made the pick-up and as we were walking out to the car, I started talking about where to put the beautiful wooden urn that my brother had picked out. I said, "I don't know where to put daddy", and started to cry. My son put the urn in the front seat and came around to my side of the car and hugged me. We stood there for a long time, while I cried and cried.

There was a brief silence and as I was about to begin crying again my son said "you smell like cat food, but nice". I went from hysterical crying to hysterical laughter in the blink of an eye. I had been keeping my cat's food and water in my clothes closet and apparently the odor had been absorbed into my clothing.

I learned two things that day:

I have a son who can make me laugh on one of the saddest days of my life and

I needed to find a new place to feed my cat.

He later told me that he just didn't know what to say.

I'd say he did.

Now if he'd just quit calling me Friskies...

Cut and Paste

2009-04-17T14:45:00.008-06:00

I have had several emails asking if I was back at work, how I was doing and how I was feeling. This is the answer to one of those emails. Because I really don't have a lot of energy for writing, I thought I would just cut and paste it and use it as a blog post.

See how I am?

I went back to work on Tuesday. I took Monday off to clear things out of daddy’s room. We still have the bed to move out, but otherwise we are done. We gave dad’s TV to his roommate, along with his DVD player and VCR, the wall unit that held those items and a few other pieces of furniture. Danny was thrilled with the TV…he didn’t even have one before he became dad’s roommate, so getting a big flat panel hi-def wall mounted TV was a big thing to him, but I think he was almost as thrilled to receive all of daddy’s ball caps. He is a man of simple pleasures. We also gave him daddy’s electric lounge chair…which he used most of the time anyway. We are taking the bed to Cousin Sharon, who is on her last legs…she is also getting the other electric lounge chair we had put in the parlor at the nursing home. My brother and Cousin Dan are going to deliver those things to her this weekend.

The service was beautiful. After weeks of snowing and blowing, the day turned out perfectly clear, and all the snow had melted off the ground. We had the service at the cemetery, which has an incredible view of the mountains daddy loved so much. I’ve never seen the mountains so big…as if they were welcoming him home. There were over 100 people there, including Wolf’s half-sister who came in from Wyoming and people Mike and I went to school with, some I hadn’t seen in decades. It truly was lovely. My best friend Barb played her guitar and sang "Let us Walk in the Light", which is a hauntingly beautiful song and entirely appropriate for the occasion. The service ended with a 21 gun salute, presentation of the flag and taps which nearly brought me to my knees crying, but it was all so beautiful…

I am still going to the nursing home at noon every day. It’s hard, because I expect him to be sitting in the dining room waiting for me, but there are a lot of people that depend on me to cheer them up, feed them and pick things up for them at the store…I can’t let them down. I am not, however, going after work, it’s just too hard because that was when he was wide awake and usually pretty with it and I’m just not ready to go there…so I need to find something to do with my evenings. Last night I spent an hour picking lint off of a sweater while visiting my brother who was making a carrot cake to take to the folks at the nursing home…so at least I’ve got that going for me.

I know I still haven’t answered the questions you asked. I am, doing. Every day is a challenge to get through, mainly because he was such a huge part of my life. Every single day had daddy in it, and I loved it. I try to stay busy; walk a lot, talk on the phone a lot, meditate a lot, and cry a lot.

How am I feeling? Raw, as if every nerve in my body has been exposed. I knew daddy was going to pass on, I just didn’t think it would be this soon. I wanted more time. More hugs, more hand holding, more reminiscing, more rubbing his back, more of everything.

I know they say time will help, and I’m hoping that it will, though it really didn’t with mom, as I still miss her every single day. Right now I feel empty, alone, orphaned at the age of 52. I know that sounds ridiculous because I have a wonderful son, brother, cousins, and friends. But that’s the way it feels.

No words...

2009-04-07T14:30:00.004-06:00

Dad passed away early this morning. There are no words to describe how much he will be missed.

I just wanted you all to know.

The diagnosis is in...

2009-04-02T09:24:00.005-06:00

It’s official. According to reliable sources I have B.A.D.D., and from the look of it, a fairly serious case. There is no known cure, although sometimes it clears up on its own, sometimes not. There is really no treatment, other than time.

Symptoms include lack of focus, inability to sit still for long periods of time and the urge to move ones legs and tap ones fingers to the rhythm of life. Other, not so typical symptoms, but ones that I have noticed in myself, are the desire to drive fast with the sunroof open and stereo turned up loud, the nearly insatiable longing to spend as much time as possible outside despite the still somewhat wintry weather, and the yearning to interact with others on a face-to-face basis.

Yes, folks, I have Blog Attention Deficit Disorder. It’s possible you’ve noticed my lack of comments, posts and participation in just about anything related to cyber-ia. It seems I’ve discovered that real life is more interesting… more fulfilling…more fun! Not that I don’t love you all and enjoy hearing about your lives and passions, because I do. It’s just that living in the present, in the here and now are more important to me right now.

Maybe it’s the hope that spring is on the way, maybe it’s a new way of life for me, I don’t know. I just know that I want and need to interact more with people in real life and one way to do that is to spend less time online.

I want to sing (much to the dismay of those around me), I want to dance (steel-toed boots for everyone), I want to hike, I want to camp, I want to LIVE life to the fullest extent possible while still avoiding jail time! Ha!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I may post once in awhile, I may stop blogging completely. I just don’t know. What I do know is that I will check in on you all from time to time and I’d love to hear from you via email if you feel so inclined.

But for right now, I’ve got B.A.D.D., and it seems I’ve got it BAD.

Hugs,
Laurie

Lost Generation

2009-03-28T11:32:00.003-06:00

I love this...I hope you do too.

Today I

2009-03-25T19:49:00.002-06:00

...laughed in amusement at my bosses bad mood rather than became annoyed like my co-workers.

...held my cat on my shoulder and watched the deer forage for food in the back yard.

...walked 34 blocks, once again getting brain freeze without benefit of eating ice cream, and would have walked more if time hadn't been an issue.

...watched in awe as a man I have known my whole life was uplifted by his wife in the nursing home as he recoverd from a stroke.

...wondered if I would ever be so blessed as to have a man in my life that would be there for me if I were ever in that position.

...slammed so hard on my brakes to avoid a deer running across the road that the groceries I had placed in the back seat ended up in the front seat.

...gave in when my cat demanded I give her affection, rather than continue with this list.

What did you do today?

Getting the *ell out of Dodge for awhile

2009-03-17T11:49:00.001-06:00

Where I am…

INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...COLUMBUS...ABSAROKEE
920 AM MDT TUE MAR 17 2009

...WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM MDT THIS AFTERNOON...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN BILLINGS HAS ISSUED A WINTER
STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW...WHICH IS IN EFFECT
UNTIL 4 PM MDT THIS AFTERNOON.

SNOW...HEAVY AT TIMES WILL CONTINUE IN BANDS OVER SOUTHERN
PORTIONS OF THE WARNED AREA. THERE WILL BE SOME AREAS THAT SEE A
SIGNIFICANT BREAK IN SNOWFALL...WHILE OTHER AREAS WILL SEE
PERSISTENT HEAVY SNOWFALL FOR SEVERAL HOURS. REPORTS THIS MORNING
ARE THAT AROUND 10 INCHES OF SNOW HAS FALLEN IN SOME LOCATIONS OF
THE WARNED AREA ALREADY...WITH AN ADDITIONAL 3 TO 5 INCHES
EXPECTED BY THIS AFTERNOON WITH THE HEAVIER SNOW BANDS. THE
HEAVIEST SNOWFALL WILL IN THE HIGHER BUTTES OF STILLWATER COUNTY.
SNOW ACCUMULATION WILL MAINLY BE ON GRASS COVERED SURFACES WITH
ROADWAYS REMAINING SLUSH COVERED OR WET.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A WINTER STORM WARNING MEANS SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW...
SLEET...AND ICE ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. STRONG WINDS ARE ALSO
POSSIBLE. THIS WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE.

Where I’m going…

Today: A mix of clouds and sun. High 69F. Winds WNW at 10 to 20 mph.
Tonight: Mostly cloudy skies early, then partly cloudy after midnight. Low 42F. Winds W at 10 to 15 mph.
Tomorrow: Mainly cloudy. Slight chance of a rain shower. High 62F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph.
Tomorrow night: A few clouds. Slight chance of a shower through the evening. Low 38F. Winds SSE at 5 to 10 mph.
Thursday: Plenty of sun. Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the low 40s.
Friday: Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the mid 40s.
Saturday: Mix of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the low 40s.

Who knows…I might not come back.

A fork in the road...

2009-03-13T09:34:00.008-06:00

My very wise friend told me to write a list of all of the reasons I could think of to continue down a road I have been following for some time. Then she told me to write a list of reasons NOT to continue down this particular path. I was then to make a comparison of the lists.

She said it would help me make a choice that I have been needing to make for quite some time.

I've made the list, I've checked it twice. I made the decision and now I am having a very hard time sticking to it.

Tell me, how do you make extremely important decisions in your life and how do you keep yourself on track to follow through?

TwoThree things...

2009-03-06T14:35:00.007-07:00

There are three things I want you to know before I head off into the weekend...

#1. Sharp cheddar cheese and sliced avacodo on double fiber wheat bread does not taste as good as it sounds.

#2. If it is 17F, snowing and blowing and you decide to walk the errands anyway, sacrifice your hairdo and wear your hood. It IS possible to get brain freeze without eating ice cream.

#3. If you are texting to more than one person at a time and send one that says "I love you", be sure that the text goes to your son instead of to a male friend, or they might immediately text back and say "I love you too, hugs, muah".

And that's all I've got folks...aside from these words of wisdom:

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert Heinlein

Have a purrfect weekend.

Just sayin...

2009-03-03T21:10:00.009-07:00

These are some of the thoughts I have had on my 28 mile daily commute:

~If you pull out directly in front of me as I am driving on the winding two-lane highway that leads to my work, you had best be prepared to eventually reach speeds approximating the posted 60 mph limit.

~If you are on your cell phone, applying mascara and breast feeding your child all at the same time, please do the gene pool a favor and do not breed again.

~If there are 13 cars, 7 pickups, a semi and four mine busses behind you, it may be an indicator that you are traveling too slowly…either pick-up the pace, pull over on a side road or go home and never drive again.

~If you drive like a bat out of blazes, passing cars on blind corners and double yellow lines and find that you arrive at your destination within seconds of the first person you passed, you MIGHT have defeated your own purpose.

~If you cannot pass an envelope between your car and mine, you might be too close. Any closer and we better be dating.

~If you meet a car and it has its hazard flashers on, NEWS FLASH—there is a hazard ahead. Now is an appropriate time to put on your brakes.

~If you look on the side of your steering wheel, somewhere there is a “stick”. If you push it down it indicates that you are turning right, if you push it up, it indicates that you are turning left. This is available on all newer models and you really should try it sometime.

~If you pull out in front of me on the highway, drive ¼ of a mile at 10 mph and then turn onto a ranch access road, I may hunt you down and pummel you with a large blunt object.

~If you are hauling loose items in the back of your “pickup truck”, there is a strong possibility that they may blow out and be broken to bits upon the highway. This is Montana, ya fool; the wind blows here. If you are too stupid to tie things down, buy a topper shell or better yet move to where the wind does not blow.

And finally, last, but most certainly not least as I meet this Einstein every night on my way home from seeing daddy at the nursing home:

~ If you are driving your four-door Dodge Ram 4 X 4 Pickup with the 12 inch lift kit and the fog lamps as bright as the Seattle Airport Beacon, you had best either stay on your own side of the road, or dim your bright lights so that I might be able to see to pick my ditch.

By the way, that’s quite the commuter vehicle you’ve got there, Brainiac.

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel so much better.

A rant question...

2009-02-20T14:53:00.003-07:00

I had a full-fledged rant ready to post, but I am going to spare you, and instead just ask you a question.

What would you do if someone in your family was very, very sick and their family was in denial or just didn't want to take time out of their "busy" lives to do something about it.

Here's the scenario:

N, has surgery for something her brother (and best friend) J had surgery for (and died from), less than a month before. In the course of her recovery, N becomes depressed and increasingly incoherant. Partly because she is grieving for J and partly because she has had to move out of the apartment she has lived in for 25 years and into a residential care facility.

The course of her depression leads her to develop what her caretakers believe to be bulimia or something very similar. The condition goes on for nearly 2 months and N is literally starving to death and getting more and more confused as the days progress. There is nothing else physically wrong with N, she just throws up everything she eats (and has been observed sticking her finger down her throat).

If you were someone who had visited N twice a day during this time and had witnessed her illness progressing, would you contact the immediate family and suggest that they call in psychiatric help?

As you may have guessed, I did that very thing and was told by the family spokeswoman that N was just fine, that her only remaining brother, also N, had been to see her on a regular basis and had said that she was eating and coherant enough to make he own medical decisions. She made it very clear that my input was unwelcome.

To me it seemed that they were willing to just let her die without fighting to help her get well.

It seemed her doctor felt as I did, he saw her this morning and immediately admitted her to the hospital.

So tell me, would you have given the family your 2 cents worth, or would you have kept quiet?

Senior Moment...

2009-02-12T13:17:00.004-07:00

Since I seem to be having more and more of these every day, I thought I would share something I got in an email today. You've probably seen it before, but I think it bares repeating.

Cook til ya drop...

2009-02-08T17:37:00.004-07:00

I'm not a big fan of eating meals out...it is expensive and generally high in calories, fat, salt and all of the other things that can be avoided when you cook at home.

Since I moved back, I have been doing most of the cooking. My brother works long days or nights and my day is pretty long as well.

When we get home (him at 6:30 in the morning or evening depending upon whether he is on a 12 hour day or night shift, and me at 8 or 9PM), neither one of us has much interest in putting together a dinner meal, let alone deciding what to make for lunch the next day.

What Mike did in the past, was spend most of one day of the weekend cooking everything he needed for the work week. I have carried on that tradition because it works well and it is kind of fun. I put on my favorite tie-dyed shirt, my purple apron, my pink, purple, black and red (I am such a fashion plate) pajama pants with the penguins on them and my big fuzzy multi-colored slippers and start cooking.

Today's fare included a massive potato salad (with red peppers because my brother bought a Costco bag of them and didn't want any of them to go to waste), a gigantic bowl of beef fajitas with fresh mushrooms, red peppers, onions and a tiny bit of sauteed garlic, country potatoes, again with fresh mushrooms, peppers, onion and to add some zest and protein, country style bacon bought from our local meat packing plant a bowl of steamed, glazed carrots and finally a large tuna salad.

I put fresh carrot slices, grapes and triscuits into baggies (no, not all in the same baggy, that would just be gross) and packaged up oatmeal and blueberries for the morning. I accomplished all of this in just under 5 hours and not once did I set off a smoke detector.

Now if neither Mike nor I have to go to the ER during the week for food poisoning, I will consider my cooking day a success.

So tell me, how do you handle meals and meal planning at your household?

Mission Accomplished!

2009-02-03T18:30:00.001-07:00

Two of the men that sit with dad at meals are developmentally disabled. Danny and Phil are wonderful guys and my brother and I consider them family. Two of Danny and Phil's favorite things are parties and birthdays. How convenient that the two go so well together!

THE MISSION

A month or so ago, I was feeding dad lunch and Danny asked when my brother's birthday was. I told him it was coming up and that he would be 55. Danny said (and Phil agreed immediately) that we (meaning me) should put on a birthday party at the nursing home for him.

I thought about it for a few minutes and agreed, adding that I thought it ought to be a "surprise" party because I knew that Mike would not let us make a fuss over him if he knew about it.

For weeks we plotted and planned. I had serious doubts that we would pull it off as a surprise, since after all, the people doing the planning (including and possibly most noticeably, me) were in various stages of senility.

As time drew nearer, I went around to the staff and residents to invite them all the the event, which was to be held at 3PM on Sunday, February 1. A gigantic cake was ordered and ice cream purchased. Napkins and plates, banners and presents were aquired and still Mike had no clue what was going on.

The plans were finalized the morning of the big day. Cousin Kay and the kidcousins were bringing the ice cream and picking up the cake. It was my job to deliver Mike to the nursing home by 3, WITHOUT him realizing that something was afoot.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the coffee was delicious as was the breakfast I managed not to burn. We puttered about, doting on the animals, doing some laundry and paperwork.

I had already told Mike that our friend Joyce was going to be at the nursing home for the Super Bowl party that afternoon and he had agreed to meet her there to show her some school photos that we had found in Uncle John's house when we were cleaning it out.

Around 2:15 we were ready to leave Absarokee and drive the 14 miles to Columbus to the nursing home. Cousin Kay and I were discretely text messaging back and forth as Mike drove toward out destination. Kay had accidently left her purse in a restroom in Billings and had gone back to retrieve it, but was once again on her way to set things up for the party.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

About half way to Columbus Mike suggested we walk his dog at her favorite fishing access along the Stillwater River. Not being able to come up with a plausible reason why not to, I said (grudgingly) "Sure".

Mike rambled on and on about a huge tree he had seen on his last visit. It had fallen across a large rock at the end of the footpath and he wanted to get a photo or two of it.

When we got to the end of the trail, I had to admit to myself that it was quite a sight and well worth being a few minutes late to the party.

As usual when I am outside, the time slipped away from me. We walked and admired the beauty of the Stillwater River.

Shasta, in all her glory, frolicked along the river's edge...

I, obviously, took some pictures and Mike did too...

Shasta found something to roll in on the ice and we laughed at her exhuberance...

We finally got a little chilly and began walking back to the car.

I was relieved, to say the least, when I got back to the car and saw a text message from Kay saying that she and the kidcousins had arrived at the nursing home and the party was set up and ready for our arrival.

I sent her a quick text telling her we had been way-layed and would be there in 15 or 20 minutes, so imagine my dismay when Mike suggested we take his car to the carwash before going to see dad.

I hid my frustration well, however, so well in fact, that after we washed the car (you should have seen me spraying and barking orders at Mike...it was quite comical and by the end of it both Mike and I were drenched), we stopped at the grocery store for bread and milk.

We finally arrived at the nursing home, only 45 minutes late and one of the nurses sent Mike to the dining hall in search of Gramp. Imagine the look on his face when he saw 40 or so people and this....

Yes, folks, he was surprised!

A good time was had by all...

Especially THESE GUYS (from clockwise; Gramp, Phil and Danny)!

SPLASHDOWN!

I got nothin'

2009-01-29T14:54:00.002-07:00

Seriously, I have nothing. Not a thing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Nothing new to report, nothing old to update, not a darn thing happenin' here, but the usual.

And I LIKE IT!

If you have something, I hope it's a good something.

Hugs to all,

Laurie

Livin' on Toast and Tang, Hungry Like the Wall and other song lyrics I don't know...

2009-01-21T06:59:00.002-07:00

One of the women that works in the office next to me is outrageously funny. Seriously folks, when she's on a roll, she makes me spit water or worse yet coffee all over my computer monitor. She's one of those people that doesn't seem to have any self-esteem issues. She's herself first and foremost and last but certainly not least. She's a riot, truly.

She's worked for her department for decades and is amazing at her job and Xerox machines tremble when they hear her voice. Have I mentioned that she's funny? Oh yea, I guess I did. A few weeks ago, while walking to the ladies restroom, which happens to be located in our office, she ran into a wall. One of my co-workers put a sign up on it, declaring that it was V's wall. We all laughed hysterically when a few hours later, she came in again and ran into the same wall!

For a few minutes I thought she'd done it just to make us laugh, but I realized that she had, in fact, run into the wall again! As you can imagine, we have teased her mercilessly and she took it like a champ, as always.

Today, as we were having a cup of coffee, we started talking about song lyrics that we have mangled in our lifetimes. I started with a story about how my son had burned a special CD for me and everytime (nearly) that we went somewhere he would put it in and we would sing it, loud and proud!

Sometimes his friends would be with us, but that wouldn't stop me...I'd sing along, despite their snickering, which I always attributed to my inability to carry a tune.

Eventually, however, I discovered the reason for their laughter...it wasn't my singing, it was my distortion of the lyrics to my favorite song...apparently Duran Duran didn't write a song entitled "Hungry Like the Wall".

After hearing my story, V told one of her own, involving lots of people and her complaint that it was the dumbest song she'd ever heard...

It only took her a few decades to determine that the song was actually "Living on Tulsa Time".

Who'da thunkitt?

Bleh...

2009-01-13T07:11:00.001-07:00

Tell me something funny...make me laugh.

Please?

To Uncle John, with love

2008-12-28T11:42:00.012-07:00

Uncle John died of complications of surgery and life at 4AM this morning. We are, to say the least, mourning the loss of our favorite uncle.

The hospital called yesterday while my brother and I were cleaning up John's house in anticipation of his return home.

They told us his blood pressure was falling and his kidneys shutting down. They were taking him to the cath lab to see if it had something to do with his heart.

Mike and I took off for Billings. The doctors did their best, but there were too many things going wrong at the same time.

Cousin Kay was with him when he passed on. She is the most spiritual person I know and as hard as it was for her, we are very thankful that she was there for him.

He knew, right up until the last few minutes, exactly what was going on and made the choice to accept the pain medications that ended his life.

Uncle John has been a part of nearly every aspect of our lives for as long as I can remember. I really can't imagine life without him.

John's main concern at the end of his life (as it had been since she came to him), was for his beloved dog, Tilley. We will do our best to make her remaining years happy.

Home

2008-12-26T07:04:00.004-07:00

Just a brief note to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas. Things have been crazy here, as it seems they have mostly been since I came home.

I blogged about my dad being hospitalized with pneumonia over Thanksgiving and I want to let you all know he is doing very well now. He spends most of his days "paddling" around the nursing home, chit chatting with the staff and other residents. He even played checkers with another resident yesterday! Rumor has it they didn't exactly follow the rules, but I figure if you want to make up your own rules at the age of 85, go for it, you've earned the right!

Continuing with the trend of elderly family members being hospitalized during the holidays, my favorite uncle spent Christmas in the Billings Hospital. My brother had taken him to the local hospital at 12:30 AM on Monday. The doctor mistakenly identified a hernia as the cause of his excruciating pain and sent him home with a truss.

Several hours later the pain became unbearable and Mike brought him to Columbus and I took him on to Billings to a hospital there. The doctors did a cat scan and he was in surgery an hour later. They discovered a cancerous blockage in his colon. The doctors are quite certain they got it all, but sent off lymph nodes to the lab to be sure.

Needless to say, Uncle missed out on the family Christmas celebration, but we are thrilled that he is doing well and should be coming home tomorrow or Sunday.

This is just one more reason I am thankful to be home and very grateful that I am able to be here now, when both my dad and uncle need me.

I guess you really can go home...

Timing is everything...

2008-12-11T21:24:00.006-07:00

Things happen for a reason. Be they good, bad or indifferent, if you keep an open mind, I believe you will see a reason behind everything.

While I hadn’t really planned on quitting my job the way that I did, the timing really couldn’t have been any better.

I had just mailed my resignation letter, when dad got sick with pneumonia.

I spent two nights with him at the nursing home and he just wasn’t getting any better, so my brother and I decided to break the living will and have him admitted to the local hospital for more aggressive treatment.

The doctor and nurses pumped him full of fluids and antibiotics and gave him breathing treatments every few hours. They could not have been nicer to him or to me. In fact they doted on me as if I were a patient most of the time.

They tried, gently, to let me know that he might not make it, but me being me and all, didn’t want to consider that possibility. I carried on as if he were wide awake, talking to him and telling him how much better he was getting. Mike came in before and after work and the cousins came to see him as often as possible as well.

It was a tough fight, the first couple of days he didn’t respond very well to treatment. He wouldn’t eat anything and barely woke up most of the time. I napped by his bedside, holding his hand and telling him I loved him. I have to say there were times when I was afraid to close my eyes for fear he would pass away while I slept…

Along about day four, dad started to rally. He was hungry, a very good sign!

It was decided that he had aspiration pneumonia, which is caused by the inability to swallow properly. The food goes down into the lungs and causes pneumonia. A very wonderful speech pathologist came in and worked with dad on his swallowing. Food was ground and liquids were thickened. Dad was soon eating like his old self!

Soon daddy was back in his wheelchair, paddling around the hospital, grinning at the nurses, and then it was time to return to the nursing home. The nurses were sad (but happy, If you know what I mean) to see him leave, but the nursing home patients and staff were ecstatic!

Things happen for a reason. If I hadn’t quit my job when I did, I would not have been able to spend all those days and nights with dad. I am not saying that I think he wouldn’t have made it without me, because I know how strong he is and how much he enjoys life, I’m just saying that I would have felt awful if I had not been able to be there for him.

The timing of my job resignation could not have been better for another reason too. The day after I officially decided not to return, I read a help wanted ad in the local paper. Applications were due at 4:30 , Friday (the next day), so I updated my resume’ and filled out the forms. I made it to the HR office with 20 minutes to spare.

On Monday they called to set up an interview. The following Monday I interviewed for the position and they called me at 8 am the next morning to offer me the job. Of course I took it! The pay is good and the benefits are outstanding! The biggest “perk” is being about 2 minutes from dad. I eat lunch with him every day and go see him when I get off of work at 5.

It doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

I am very thankful

2008-11-30T13:55:00.008-07:00

I have been a blog slacker lately, but for good reason. Dad has been in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia, which is fairly common in patients with Parkinson's disease. It was touch and go for awhile, but he is doing much better now and will most likely be returning to the nursing home tomorrow.

The staff at the hospital has been wonderful to him and are going to miss him, but the folks at the nursing home are excited that he is returning.

In other news, Wolf DID make a it home for Thanksgiving and a wonderful time was had by all. We had a huge family gathering in Billings and then went to see dad. He ate a monstrous meal of pureed turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie and whipped cream.

I forgot my camera, but Wolf took quite a few with his cell phone and will send them to me when he gets back to Denver. He is on the way as I write this post. The roads are nasty, so please say a little prayer for his safety if you would.

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving, and I will try to post more frequently in the future.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

2008-11-11T14:08:00.005-07:00

It's official. I've resigned my job and am moving on with my life. I gave so much of myself to my work that there was nothing left for me. I plan to change that and am, in fact, doing so as I type.

With the help of some wonderful friends and family members, I have moved from my apartment in Forsyth. Emily and I are happily ensconced in our new digs and enjoying it very much.

I am doing some part-time work on web design and graphic art work and may also be doing some photography. It seems odd to be making money doing the things that I love, but I'm not complaining.

In other news, my son may be coming home for Thanksgiving and if so we are planning a huge family bash. I promise this time there will be pictures.

I have a lot going on right now and will fill you all in on the details when I have more time. Suffice it to say I am healing well and enjoying all that life has to offer.

To heal, all you really need is the love of a good....Cat.

2008-10-30T23:23:00.003-06:00

Emily, my cat, is very much enjoying my convalescence...

All is good...

2008-10-20T17:01:00.005-06:00

You know how you can save voicemails on your cell phone and they periodically come up for review, then you listen to them again and determine if you want to save or delete?

Well today the voicemail Cousin Dale left when he arrived at the hospital in Denver for his bone marrow transplant in March of 2007 came up for renewal.

This is not an unusual event in and of itself, it does so every 40 days...but that it came due today, on my 52 birthday, when I am convalescing from surgery (I'm so not a good patient), away from my son, my favorite feline, unable to visit my dad and feeling quite sorry for myself, does seem a bit uncanny.

I choose to believe that it is Dale's way of telling me, as he said in his message to me, "all is good".

Thanks, Dale.

Saying ta ta to the ta ta's...

2008-10-12T22:52:00.004-06:00

I've had neck problems for most of my adult life, but they have worsened considerably in the last 2 years. The doctor said it is because my body has gotten smaller, but the "girls" have not.

I woke up in the morning shortly after my 16th birthday with enormous breasts. I was a tall, thin and lanky and loved to play basketball and shoot pool and these unwanted female accessories did nothing but foul up my free shot and my break. In later life, my son's friends would comment to him that I had "bodacious ta tas". Sigh...

My recent weight loss has put a lot of stress on my neck. Apparently the girls, who haven't shrunk at all in cup size, are too heavy, now, for my significantly smaller frame.

Neck problems, shoulder problems, numb arms and hands and a constant headache finally took me to a doctor who told me she thought the cause of my malaise was my overgrown knockers.

Having long since tired of having the pains and aches they cause, I visited a plastic surgeon who, after a myriad of tests they apparently have to give to a woman of my advanced years, advised a breast reduction.

I am NOT a fan of surgery of any type and the thought that my mammary glands would be whittled upon truly scared the sh*t out of me, but a two month headache finally turned the tide and I decided to go for it.

Tomorrow is the big day. I have had almost 3 weeks to "prepare" myself for the operation...and the closer I get, the more nervous I become. The kid cousins have entertained me with shopping, board games, twister and even poker, and it has been a godsend to have them keeping my mind off of things, but as the time draws nearer, I have to say I'm very anxious.

I just have to keep thinking that by doing this I will be free from the headaches, my shoulder and neck will stop aching all the time and it is even possible that men will notice that "my eyes are up here".

I believe it is a win-win situation, but after having waited this long...a monstrous winter storm has hit the city of Billings, knocking out power lines and causing all kinds of chaos. My hope now is that the weather will stabilize and I will be able to have the surgery in the morning and all will go well.

And I will finally be able to say ta ta to the ta tas.

They say it's your birthday...

2008-09-20T20:02:00.015-06:00

It's that time of year again when I beg you all to send my daddy birthday cards.

His birthday is September (thanks WW) 29 and since that is a Monday, we are holding the party the Saturday before.

There will be cake!

And balloons!

And presents!

And most importantly...

family...

and friends.

A few will be missing for one reason...

or another

but we know their spirits will be with us.

So please, if you have a moment this week, send a card to dad. It would mean a lot to all of us.

Bill Kelley
350 West Pike Avenue
Columbus, MT 59109

And if you are in the neighborhood, by all means, stop by! We'd love to have you join us.

What I did on my summer vacation...

2008-09-05T20:32:00.016-06:00

Much of my vacation was spent enjoying the company of my wonderful family and friends. I doted on daddy, spent time with the cousins and kidcousins and even saw my brother for a short while. I truly had a magnificent time.

I hardly even thought of work, for once (thanks for that, Bobbi--friend and co-worker), and was able to unwind for the first time in I can't remember how long.

I even managed to take a one day trip to Yellowstone Park, but true to form lately I forgot my camera! Thankfully my companion had an old one along so I was able to get a few shots, including this one of an elk and her youngun' wading in the Yellowstone River.

And this one of a buffalo (why, oh why did I forget my freaking camera?).

Here's one my friend insisted on taking. Once again I say, how much weight do I have to lose before I only have one chin? Does anyone know the name of a good plastic surgeon?

Our turbo trip took us to Yellowstone Lake, probably my favorite place of all, where the last three shots were taken.

So there you have it in a nutshell.

I've missed you all and very much look forward to going to your blogs to catch up with what is going on in your lives.

Big hugs and lots of love,

Laurie

Color Me GONE!

2008-08-18T20:48:00.006-06:00

Flatlanders, eat your hearts out. I am going here...

and here...

To see most of my favorite beings in the universe.

Don't hate me, please, but in four days I will be escaping the confines of my office and life here in Forsyth to go to Billings and Absarokee. I'll see my dad, my brother, my cousins, the kidcousins, Shasta the Disasta and Gabby girl.

In order to make my escape, I have to put in a hellishly long week (3 major events to put on in three days), but it will be worth it in the long run. I am taking eleven, count them, 11 days off and I'm telling the office that unless someone loses an arm or a leg, I don't even want to know about it!!!

So hugs to you all...

and have a fantastic week!

Bleh...

2008-08-09T17:45:00.004-06:00

Obviously, I've not been blogging much. There are several reasons...

I work too much.

It's been too hot and the central air in my apartment isn't working very well.

A gal's gotta sleep sometime!

Seriously though...it's currently 98 degrees outside, 82 inside, and although I usually LOVE LOVE LOVE the hot weather, it is starting to get old.

Today I found myself longing for...

I'm scared to say it...

Are you ready for this...

winter.

Radioactive?

2008-07-20T20:01:00.011-06:00

My brother Mike is a doter. He took wonderful care of our mother and now of our dad. He spoils his nephew (Wolf), Uncle John, the kid-cousins and pretty much everyone he knows, (including myself) rotten.

His dog, Shasta, is as extremely well taken care of and so are his two newly acquired cats.

A few examples...

His cats, Cuddles, the one he inherited from Lois our favorite neighbor, and Floyd, the one that traded in his old owner (traded up in my opinion), were shedding quite a lot. I attributed it to the change in weather, but Mike set out to find a solution to the problem.

Since neither of them were fond of being brushed (can you say kevlar gloves and sleeves needed?), he went to Pet Smart and bought them kitty treats that were guaranteed to prevent excessive hair loss in felines.

There was one catch...you had to get them to eat them. Neither cat was at all interested in the crunchy delights, in fact they avoided them like the plague...going so far as to walk around them on the floor or even leave the room altogether.

Mike, in his infinite wisdom, decided that the treats were RADIOACTIVE so I agreed to take them home with me.

My cat, Emily, did NOT find them radioactive, in fact she loved them so much that she carried the bag around in her mouth...she loved them so much that I have recently bought stock in the company.

Not long after the ill-fated cat treat adventure, Mike went online in search of the perfect cat condo.

A few weeks later it arrived in the mail. Standing almost 7 feet tall it had seven levels upon which were situated a house, a cave, several pedestals of varying sizes and a hammock. Yes...a hammock. :-|

Once again...RADIOACTIVE

Apparently Emily is immune to radiation.

Help!

2008-07-13T13:08:00.003-06:00

I haven't had any time for blogging or anything else lately. Today I had some downtime, before going to job #2 and when I tried to view blogs (my own included) I was unable to do so.

I'm not sure when this started...a friend from Canada said he's not having the same problem, so I'm not sure if this is my computer (and the dreaded Vista) acting strangely or if there is a problem somewhere else.

So...I'm asking that you please let me know if you had the same problem and if so, how did you fix it.

Thanks so much!

It takes many colors to make a rainbow...

2008-07-05T22:50:00.024-06:00

As most of you know, I'm the proud mother of a wonderful gay man.

On my recent trip to visit him, I was lucky enough to be able to attend PrideFest 2008. It was an incredible gathering of incredible people who were there to celebrate diversity.

I could NOT have had a better time. I was loud and I was proud!

The photos that follow were taken at the parade held on Sunday, June 22 in beautiful downtown Denver.

I cried a dozen times during the 10 hours we were in downtown Denver, hanging out with my son and his friends.

I cried for joy at the beauty I saw, the hands of the young lovers entwined...the parents marching in support of their gay children...the children marching in support of their gay parents...the mothers and grandmothers arm in arm...all of those things made me cry.

Other things made me cry too, but not for joy: the words of my son's roommate who said Pride weekend was the one weekend of the year that he could hold hands with his lover in public without fear of being mocked...the people holding rude signs and chanting "repent sinners" as the parade passed by their "church", and most of all, I cried when I thought of all the young gay men and women who had to move from states like Montana and Wyoming to find a modicum of acceptance in the big city.

I wish I was a poet, or even a writer...I'd have profound words to say...words that would make a difference, but I'm not and I don't and I can't.

Next year Pridefest will be held on June 27th and June 28th in downtown Denver and I'm going to be there. Once again I'm going to be loud and proud.

Yea or nay...

2008-07-02T23:09:00.000-06:00

Someone stop me before I do something I swore I'd never do...

Let me give you some background info...

I had a fantastic time in Denver with cousin Sadie and my son Wolf. We spent most of one day in Boulder at the Pearl Street mall. We went into an amazing toy store...

We spent over an hour in there, playing with everything that moved...

and gawking like the tourists we were at everything else.

We finally left the store (and no they didn't ask us to go) and Sadie bought us all ice cream (I was too busy eating to take pictures) and we continued walking...

We came upon a hat kiosk and the kids tried some on. I took a few pictures and then got into the act myself...

By the end of it all, we had tried on nearly everything in the kiosk, including a pope's hat, a hat with buffalo horns, a chicken cap, a gigantic pink flamingo hat, beanies, scarves and even an alligator hat. We talked in funny accents and clowned around like a bunch of nut cases. I haven't had that much fun since I was a kid.

Afterward we went into a shop that specialized in henna tattoos. We thought it would be funny for me to get one and then send a photo of it back to my co-workers in Forsyth, so I paid a paltry sum of money and got my tat.

The photo I took shows it with most of the liquid henna still on and isn't a true representation of how cool it looked after the chunky stuff fell off. For some reason I didn't take a photo of the finished product the next day, but I really liked the way it looked and so did the kids.

I suppose you know where this is going now...

The "tat" is fading and I find that I miss it. I am actually considering getting a permanent one just like it...but would like you, my faithful readers (both of you) to tell me what you think.

What say you...yea or nay?

Exactly what I needed...

2008-06-24T16:12:00.033-06:00

Lately I've been feeling extremely frazzled. So much to do, so little time to do it in. Work has been beyond hectic and so has life.

Technology has taken over; the computers and printers, fax and copy machines...I can never seem to get away from them. And the worst, it seems, are the phones. We have 10 phone lines in our office and some days the ringing doesn't stop and people call my cell phone for work as well.

No matter where I go, it seems, they find me. I sometimes find myself thinking...if that d*mn phone rings one more time, I am going to toss it out the window!

Luckily, just as I was reaching the breaking point (OK, some might say I was already there), a friend asked me to ride to Denver with her.

Hurrah--road trip!

I packed lightly (for me), picked up my kid-cousin Sadie (age 9--almost ten) at our house in Billings, met my friend at the Holiday Inn and headed for the big city lights in her rental car.

We had a few misadventures along the way...can you say a four hour wait for Enterprise to decide to replace the two completely bald tires (one of which was completely flat on BOTH sides--heehee) on our rental vehicle in Sheridan, WY...and arrived in Denver around 9 pm. Off to a late dinner we went and then to bed to get ready for a fantastic weekend!

As always, Wolf had great adventures planned. The first stop on our whirlwind weekend tour was Central City, CO, well known for its gambling halls and fancy hotels and less well known for its incredible scenery and amazing cemeteries.

Yes, I said cemeteries.

My son has always, as my mom used to say, paddled his own canoe. His idea of an adventure is not to sit in a smoky casino, it is to explore the great outdoors.

In one of his many adventures he found these two very old, very rustic side-by-side cemeteries and thought we would enjoy seeing them as well.

He was right.

Here Sadie and Wolf head up the path to the cemetery. It was ungroomed and unkept, for the most part, and incredibly large. I am no judge of acreage, but I'd have to say it covered several square miles.

There was no way to take a photo that would truly represent how much area the two cemeteries covered.

I was surprised by how much enthusiasm Sadie showed during the trip, although she adores Wolf so much, she'd probably have had fun doing anything with him.

This is a very small part of the cemetery. It extends into the grove of Quaking Aspens to the right and to the left as well.

This is one of the many unusual headstones we saw.

The trail extended for what seemed like miles. We walked for nearly an hour and a half and didn't come to the end of the property.

This old mine building was roped off, but we thought it was quite interesting. Sadie wanted to go exploring, but Wolf told her it was dangerous so she stayed away.

This monument was to one of twelve miners who died in the Sleepy Hollow mine disaster in 1895.

This is a close-up of the bottom of the stone.

I thought this was interesting for some reason. Life coming out of death or something like that...

I loved the way the stone looked with the flowers around it.

The saying on the bottom of this stone really touched me...

How incredibly true, don't you think?

The graves of young children brought tears to our eyes, especially Sadie.

Nels found an unusual headstone. I thought it was a tree when I saw it from a distance.

When you think about the tools they had to work with back then, these stones are even more remarkable in my opinion.

I think this is beautiful.

My two wonderful traveling companions.

Sadie and I found an old building that had only one wall remaining. Wolf decided he needed to take a picture of us.

Wolf as we were getting ready to leave the cemetery. I told him when I died I wanted to be cremated and have some of my ashes spread here. I can't imagine anywhere more beautiful.

I really want to thank Wolf for this part of the adventure. All of it was amazing and wonderful and enjoyable, but getting me away from civilization and back to the past for a few hours was exactly what I needed.

Proud Momma...

2008-06-10T19:51:00.003-06:00

My son is one of the most giving people I know. He works hard, volunteers for various causes and is always there to lend a hand to his friends and family. He is kind and sweet and generous to a fault and I feel truly lucky to be his mom.

What has he done now, you ask? For the third time in as many years, he has cut all his hair off and donated it to "Locks of Love".

This is the picture he took of himself as he was preparing to leave the hair salon.

I could not be more proud of him than I am right now.

Life's a blur right now...

2008-05-31T14:28:00.003-06:00

Yes, I am alive and yes I am a blogger-slacker. I apologize.

Just a very short post to say I'm sorry about my lack of posts and more importantly, visits to your blogs lately. I've been working two jobs to help out the kidcousins in Billings and going back and forth to see my dad as often as possible.

I have some wonderful photos I'd love to post, some insights I'd love to share, but I just haven't had the time to write or even download the photos from my camera to my computer.

My hope is to take some time off over Father's Day. I want to spend time with daddy and my brother, of course, and see the kidcousins. I might even have a few hours to visit your wonderful blogs and write a post or two of my own.

'Til then, I just want you all to know I love you and miss you, more than I can say. Things are going well...just very busy. When I think of what was happening a year ago...I have to be very pleased with the way life is going. I hope you can all say the same.

**Photo by darin11111

To make a long story short even longer...

2008-05-08T14:50:00.009-06:00

Those of you who read this blog (both of you--LOL) know that I adore my brother Mike. He is one of the kindest, most decent people I have ever had the pleasure to know. You might think that I'm prejudice, him being my brother and all, but anyone who knows him says the same thing.

For years he took care of my mom and dad, moving into their home to provide them with the support they needed. His doing so enabled them to stay in their home for a very long time. When mom passed away, he stayed with dad to ease his loneliness and give him financial support as well.

When dad started showing symptoms of Parkinson's Disease several years ago, Mike took over all of the duties necessary to keep him home. His life revolved around dad and their dog Shasta. He did this for many years until it became obvious that dad could not be left alone during the hours that Mike worked. Dad agreed and we began the paperwork to move him into a nursing home near my brother's work.

Once dad was settled in, did Mike relax and take some time for himself? No he did not. Not a day goes by that Mike doesn't visit dad, always bringing treats for dad and his roommate and often bringing goodies for the staff as well.

While he's on his daily visit, Mike dotes on the residents as well. He fetches them water, finds and returns their lost items, helps them eat, and consoles them when they are sad. He's so helpful, that many of them think he's on staff there.

The staff think the world of him, too. Every time I stop to visit someone tells me what a great guy he is and I've even had them try to set him up with their friends!

And what does Mike do when he's not at work or doting on the residents of the Beartooth Manor? He dotes on his dog Shasta and his two newly acquired cats, Floyd and Cuddles.

Floyd showed up on the doorstep one day and of course Mike let him in and fed him. He came and went as he pleased for several days until a lady showed up asking if he'd seen a yellow and white cat. Mike said that he had and in fact the cat was sleeping on the couch at the time. The woman was quite thrilled to have "Pretty Boy" back and took him home with her.

The next day, Pretty Boy was back. Mike petted him, but did not let him in the house because he didn't want to encourage him. He came back day after day and finally the woman asked if he would like to keep him, since he obviously preferred Mike to her. Mike, of course, said that he would and promptly renamed him "Floyd" saying no WONDER he ran away!!!

Since the first of the year, Mike had been taking care of his neighbor's two cats while she convalesced in a nursing home after an illness. A few months ago her daughters decided that she should move to an assisted living facility near them. It was a good plan, except she would only be able to take one of her dear kitties, so she asked Mike to take the other, which he did!

After Mike officially adopted Floyd, he tried to make him an indoor cat, but Floyd would have none of it. He was used to coming and going as he pleased and he made the most pathetic noises at the door and finally Mike gave in and let him out. Cuddles, on the other hand, was perfectly content to stay in.

Mike works 12 hour shifts, going back and forth between days and nights. He hired a young man to come in and walk Shasta for him, but the schedule didn't work well for Floyd, who had his own timetable and didn't seem keen on adjusting it to anyone else's. Finally Mike came up with a plan.

He put a cat door in between the basement and the attached greenhouse and one from the greenhouse to the backyard. He placed a table leaf (oak no less) between the pool table and the shelf under the window so that Floyd (and Cuddles should he ever desire to leave the house) didn't have to (God Forbid!!) jump all the way up to the shelf to exit the premises.

Floyd was free to come and go as he pleased, but as you can see from the photo, Mike can close the basement window when he doesn't want Floyd to go out.

Problem solved.

Mike calls it....

Are you ready for this?

The Catobahn.

And the answer is....

2008-05-04T21:09:00.007-06:00

Since none of you correctly guessed what the photo was on my last (slacker) post, I will save the all-expense paid trip for the next guess-athon and drink the half bottle of Strawberry Hill (hee hee, hiccup--oops, I already did).

So now let me set the scene for the photo...

For decades the basement in the Absarokee house remained dry, only flooding during storms of biblical proportions. For the past several years, for one reason or another (and believe me I do have my theories), the basement has flooded despite our having put pumps down there.

This year my brother decided to be ready.

He spent many a weekend chipping the concrete from around the French drain in the basement. He worked his tail off to create a sump so that he could put a float-controlled pump in it.

Those are 5 gallon buckets...so you can see how large the rock is.

I showed up just in time to help him plumb it in and take a few photos, of course.

Including this lovely one of a long-deceased arachnid of some type.

You have probably guessed by now that the photo in the last post was a close up of the sump he built.

Let the rains come!

What on earth is it?

2008-04-27T15:38:00.005-06:00

This is my ~~yearly~~ ~~semi-yearly~~ whenever ~~the hell~~ I want to do it, "What on earth is it?" contest.

As always, the first person to correctly guess, will win either an all expense paid trip to beautiful eastern Montana or a half full bottle of Strawberry Hill wine.

Good luck!

Laughter, the best medicine!

2008-04-14T22:32:00.005-06:00

This is not my cat, my bathtub or even my bathroom. I used this picture to illustrate what my cat did last night as I lay in a steaming tub of water hoping to unblock my sinuses which had been cemented shut for the past several days.

After moping about all day, feeling sorry for myself, working when I had the energy and generally feeling like the world was abusing me in every way possible, I decided enough was enough and ran myself a hot bubble bath.

I love my apartment. Even though when the neighbor children come and go it sounds like a herd of wildabeasts have invaded the building, even though you can't run the microwave and the toaster at the same time without throwing at least one breaker, even though the washing machine spins so out of control that it knocks my pictures off the wall...I love my apartment.

Not only does it have ginormous windows, central heat and air and the quaintest kitchen in the free world (yes, yes, I'll post some pictures eventually...don't nag me!!), it has a REAL BATHTUB. You know the kind...real ceramic. Not the plastic crap they use now-adays, but real old fashioned ceramic. It has molded edges and feels nice to the touch. The water stays warm in it FOREVER and it is long and deep.

That's what I'm talking about...a soaking tub.

I placed my special bath salts (lovingly bought by none other than Wolf, the best son in the universe) in the steeping hot water and watched as the aromatic bath tonic melted in. I inched my sore, tired, achy, strep infected body into the almost too hot to stand water and lay there listening to jazz on xm radio.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but it was awhile. I dozed off and was awaked by the touch of my sweet Emmy cat's soft paw on my arm. Obviously concerned about me, she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub watching me...with her tail in the water. I thought she must not know it's in the water, so I gently removed it and placed it back on the tub edge. Back in the water it went...moving as though it was paddling. I removed it several more times, telling her "cats don't like water, Em"...but she didn't listen and back in the water it went over and over again.

I'd have given my left kidney for an actual photo of Emmy's tail in the water, but alas I was unable to get up to get the camera without disturbing her, so I just sat in the tub and watched her tail swimming in the warm water.

And laugh, oh mercy, did I laugh. I laughed so hard I cried.

It had been awhile since I laughed that way...the last time was in Denver with Wolf. It felt so so good! I could feel myself starting to heal right then and there and sure enough...today I am feeling nearly normal, whatever that is for me...lol!

So thanks to my favorite kitty in the universe, for reminding me to laugh.

Oh the joys...

2008-03-31T18:24:00.011-06:00

...of working from home.

My tidy little work space.

OK, so there were a few kitty toys on the floor. What self respecting cat lover doesn't have cat toys worth more than their annual salary around the house? But look how neat and tidy the workspace was.

Emphasis on WAS.

Hi mom, whatcha doing? Can I help in any way?

Yes, those are my important papers and paperclips that spilled out of the holder when she threw it on the floor.

Yes, folks, it wasn't enough that she batted the papers to the floor, she then looked me in the eye and knocked the paperclips off too.

She was going for the hole punch (and wouldn't that have made a lovely mess) when I picked her up off of the table and put her on the floor. As you can imagine that didn't go over very well, so being the strict disciplinarian and incredible cat whisperer that I am, I went and opened up a can of albacore tuna and put it into her dish. That held her attention for nanoseconds and then she was back to cause more trouble.

She looks like a vulture, doesn't she?

Finally everything settled down and she fell to sleep in the middle of my bed. I tippy-toed back to my work space and struggled to meet my (personal) deadline.

Typing oh, so, very, quietly so as not to awaken the little darling. Please, dear god, don't let the keys make so much noise! I have a deadline!!

Well darn, that didn't work out very well for me did it?

My trip to Denver, the turbo edition

2008-03-27T18:38:00.008-06:00

I know I promised photos of my trip to Denver and I really did intend to provide you with them, but once again I was too busy living in the moment to take photos...

But I do so want to let you know that I had a splendid time in Denver and things could not have been better, so here's the Cliff's Notes version of day one my trip:

Friday morning at 5 am I got up, threw a few things (OK maybe more than a few) into my bag and met my buddy downstairs. We managed to stuff my few things (ha) into the trunk of his brand new California Edition Mustang (bright red, it's a beauty I tell ya) and we were off.

About midway to Denver, my friend offered me a chance to drive the 'Stang and of course, me being me and all, I jumped at the chance. It was obvious that my driving scared him badly...
Once we got to Denver, I dropped myself off at my son's and Wolf and I headed for the mall. We did some shopping; Hot Topic, Bath and Bodyworks, the Piercing Pagoda and a few other places and then took a bit of a break. I hadn't eaten much and was a bit woozy so we stopped at the food court where I picked up a raspberry parfait to munch on.

While eating I decided to put in the earrings I had purchased. I had a difficult time getting them in my ear but finally persevered (remember this because it will become important in a later blog post...)!

After my snack I was full of energy again and we continued our shopping extravaganza. I noticed a nail salon and Wolf offered to pay for a manicure and pedicure for me. I am all woman, so of course I said YES!

There was a short wait so we walked off to do a bit more shopping. As we passed by one of those fun-photo booths, Wolf and I both (at the same time, if you can imagine) said "let's take our picture!"

My son is a very tall, very broad shouldered guy. He stands 6'4 1/2 in his stocking feet and I can't help but think he has about the broadest shoulders of any man I've ever met.

At first I sat on the bench and he tried to slide in beside me. If you've ever been in one of those booths, you'll know what I'm talking about...there was not much room to navigate in there!

We finally got settled and inserted the credit card. You are supposed to be able to adjust the angle of the camera up and down, but our adjuster doohickey thingamabob (that's the technical term for it) was broken.

We burst out laughing and the series of photos that follows is the result. In the last photo Wolf told me to "look pensive". How I love that kid.

One more thing...can someone please tell me how many gazillion pounds I have to lose before I lose the second (and third) chin? Sheeeeeesh!!!!

And with that whiny comment, I bid you adieu...I'll fill you in on more of our fun adventures in a day or so.

Hugs to all... Laurie

KITTY, WAKE UP!

2008-03-23T14:47:00.003-06:00

This isn't my kitty, but it could be. Emily is SO NOT a morning girl.

A whole lotta nothing going on...

2008-03-18T18:56:00.006-06:00

I have absolutely nothing witty or funny or even mildly interesting to say lately, so I've not posted a thing in awhile.

I've been busier than usual at work and have not even had time to visit your blogs and for that I apologize. Things are vewwy vewwy good, but I've been vewwy vewwy busy! I have taken on, once again, more work than I should, and since I am me and all, i feel I must have it all done before I allow myself to go to Denver to visit my son.

Yes, you heard it here...I'm going to Denver to see Wolf for Easter! It will be a quick trip, but well worth it.

I will try to take lots of pictures and maybe even post one or two from there...I know, I know...famous last words.

None-the-less, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Oh, I do have one semi-funny thing to report. At a meeting yesterday I saw a woman I hadn't seen in nearly a year. She took one look at me and said, "you look gaunt, have you been sick?" I laughed and said that I had not been sick, in fact I felt better than I had in years.

When I got home I looked up the word gaunt. According to Dictionary.com it means:

gaunt–adjective, -er, -est.

1. extremely thin and bony; haggard and drawn, as from great hunger, weariness, or torture; emaciated.

2. bleak, desolate, or grim, as places or things: a gaunt, windswept landscape.

My hope is that she meant 1. extremely thin and bony rather than haggard and drawn or worse yet bleak, desolate or grim...

And FYI, I am far from thin and bony (although looking at my most recent picture, some might say I am a bit haggard--haha!!).

Hugs and much love to you all, some even more than others (you know who you are).

The one where Laurie shows you her apartment mops the universe.

2008-03-02T16:32:00.013-07:00

Today was going to be the day. It really was. All day yesterday I worked spuriously (a combination of speedily and furiously--trust me, if you knew me in person you would give me this word, even in Scrabble--it's so me) to finish my work projects for the week. Due to a hard drive failure on my work computer, I had lost most of the data I need to complete what I had deemed my "to do" list for the weekend, so I spent countless hours reinventing the wheel.

I compiled the data I needed for a presentation I'll be doing later in the month and put together graphs and charts. I sorted through hundreds and hundreds of work photos and organized them into files. I also did a major update to the work website. All this in order to be able to spend today taking photos of my apartment to blog for you.

The day dawned bright and beautiful. It was cold, mind you, at least it felt cold to me on my morning walk. When I passed by the bank thermometer/clock thingy (that's the technical term for it--trust me) it said it was 28 degrees F, but it felt colder because there was a bit of a breeze.

After my walk, I made a crockpot of my soon-to-be famous spaghetti sauce and set about straightening up the apartment. I swept and mopped, I cleaned and organized. I put away the last couple of boxes from my move all the while jammin' to the tunes on XM Radio.

I also washed several loads of laundry. This is my cat Emily's favorite part of cleaning day because the washer and dryer are located right outside one of the doors to the apartment and she gets to run up and down the stairs and explore the hall to her hearts content while the clothes wash.

I was just finishing the vacuuming when I saw Emmy coming toward me. She was acting very strangely...shaking her feet as she walked. She had a peevish expression on her face and she was squeaking. Emmy doesn't meow, she squeaks...I'm pretty sure it's because she thinks she's a dog. She was raised by a border collie and a Welsh corgi and she hates cats. When she sees her own reflection in the full-length mirror, she puffs up and starts to hiss...I think she's a cog or maybe even a dat, but I digress...

I picked her up and to my shock, she was wet! Her pretty little white feet were filthy dirty and sopping wet. I put her down and followed her out into the hall where I saw a steady stream of water pouring out from under the door that connects my hallway to that of the hallway of the other apartment in the building. This hallway also houses the hot water heater and the **gasp** drain to my washing machine, which apparently was and had been for awhile, plugged! A tsunami of water came rushing down the hallway when I opened the door and water poured down the stairs of the building.

Crap! So much for my plans to take photos of my apartment today.

I turned off the washer, rolled up my sweatpants, gathered up a bucket (actually an aluminum turkey roasting pan I use for Chex Mix when my son is here--I promise I'll buy a new one Wolf) and my mop and set to work.

The apartment building is still a work in progress. Eventually there will be another tenant, but for now it's just me and Emmy. The contractor is in the process of remodeling and a lot of his things were in the room where the flood originated. I moved everything out so that I could begin to clean up the mess. Emmy, as you can see from the photo below, didn't really mind wandering the soggy halls. Doesn't she know that cats hate water?

Numerous hours and too many gallons of water to count later, my job was finished. Me, being me and all, decided that just mopping up the flood wasn't enough, I had to go back through and mop it all with lysol so it wouldn't smell "funky" after it dried.

While the hallway may not have smelled funky, I can't say the same for my feet. Can you see how dirty they are? (Nice red toenails though, don't you think?)

Not to worry, I just dipped them in the bathroom sink and washed them off. I was quite surprised to see how easily I was able to put my foot up there. Losing weight has really paid off for me, don't you think? ha!!! (By the way, for those of you totally disgusted with me for using the sink this way, please know that I cleaned and disinfected it thoroughly after taking this picture)

So anyway, my motives were pure and I really meant to post "the one where Laurie shows you her apartment", but the floodwaters prevented me from doing so. I will leave you with a photo of my beautiful (at least I think it's beautiful) bedroom. It's so warm and cozy and comfy I look forward to going to bed at night for the first time in a very long time.

I really will post pictures of the rest of the place next weekend. I promise. Unless, of course, I'm visited by a plague of locusts.

The River

2008-02-25T19:17:00.021-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I decided that kid-cousin Sadie and I needed some time together. I'd been working a lot of extra hours and had not had the opportunity to spend weekends in Billings as I had been. Sadie was missing me and even more I think, missing our visits to Grampa at the nursing home.

I picked Sadie up Friday after school and after a long visit at the nursing home, we drove to Absarokee to spend the weekend with Uncle Mike. We were greeted at the door by Shasta and a little while later Mike's cat Floyd (originally named Pretty Boy by his original owner) and the newest member of the household, former neighbor Lois's cat, Cuddles, came out to visit.

We spent the evening relaxing, watching TV and visiting. Mike was happy to have us over and Sadie doted on all of the critters. I, for once, didn't even open my laptop to work!

Saturday, in addition to visiting Grampa at the nursing home, we went on a couple of very fun adventures.

Our first stop was Hawkin's Park. The park is one of Mike and Shasta's favorite places to romp and Sadie, as you can see from the pictures, really enjoyed it as well.

Soon after we arrived at the park, Sadie told Mike and I that she had never walked beside a frozen river before. My heart broke a bit thinking of all the opportunities she had missed in her life and I vowed then to make sure she and her siblings had more outdoor adventures in the future.

Shasta explored every inch of the park as usual.

Sadie got a huge kick out of walking on the thick ice at the edge of the river.

I think she really enjoyed being around "Uncle" Mike and I know he really loved showing her the river.

Sadie reminds me so much of Wolf when he was young. He never walked by a log in his life that he didn't want to stand on.

Mike has a great sense of humor. Sadie laughed so hard that later she told me her face hurt.

Sadie was amazed at how bright the ice was in the sunlight

and how bright blue the mountains appeared.

Uncle Mike spotted the giant hunk of ice in the free flowing part of the river, so of course I had to take a photo of it!

I love the way the old power plant looks surrounded by ice.

The second stop of the adventure was at "the secret place". The ice out there is especially thick.

In the setting sun, it had a kind of blue hue to it.

Shasta, of course, had a great time. She always does!

I call this one Sadie the irrigator. She found this headgate valve and had a blast trying to turn it. Uncle Mike kept teasing her that come the spring thaw the town of Absarokee would be under four feet of water from her efforts. She thought he was really funny!

And so it ended. The moon was beautiful and bright and so was the day.

Life is really beautiful, isn't it?

You've been mooned, again!

2008-02-21T20:56:00.009-07:00

This week my work took me to Fairmont Hot Springs Resort for a "No Adverse Impacts" conference. The subject refers to mitigating impacts involved with land use and land use planning. It has been a very interesting workshop so far and the setting couldn't be more beautiful. I wish there was time to get out and take some photos, but the conference runs from very early morning to evening, so I've not had time.

I did manage to sneak in a soak in the hot tubs, which really weren't hot enough for me, and to take some photos of the eclipse of the moon.

Obviously, I need to work on my technique here, or else lay off the hard liquor.

Not a whole lot better, but it's an interesting shot anyway, don't you think?

I have no clue why the moon appears to have a tail here, but I imagine it was camera operator error.

Not quite there, but I'm getting better at it in this shot.

By George (or Canon) I think I've got it...at least as much as I ever will.

Now it's back to work for me! I have notes to finish transcribing and then I'm going to get some rest (if my co-worker, the beautiful and talented Bobbi, doesn't snore all night again). Our conference ends at 3:30 and then we have to drive the 4oo and some miles back to Forsyth.

Our annual conservation achievement banquet is Sunday and after that I have a plethora of meetings to plan and attend. I'm not sure when I'll get it done, but I plan to have a nervous breakdown sometime soon.

Ha! I'm so not...I am loving this and you all know it.

So hugs, be safe and I'll stop over and see you all soon. I promise!

Warmer times revisited...

2008-02-16T20:32:00.018-07:00

If it's not obvious from the title of this post, I'm longing for spring. We've had a lot of snow and bitter cold this winter and it seems like I'm never warm anymore. My cousin says it's because I've lost most of my insulation, but I think it has more to do with age.

Whatever the reason, I'm disliking winter more this year than ever before. I'm not one to sit around moping, so I decided to sort through my spring, summer and fall pictures to remind me of what is ahead.

The pictures below are the ones that gave me the warmest fuzzzies.

I hope they brighten your spirit as well.

Be safe and stay warm everyone, I love you all.

I've been such a busy little bee...

2008-02-11T22:33:00.001-07:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I've been a bad blogger. But sometimes real life gets in the way of blogging and as my mom used to say, I've been busier than a one legged woman in a butt kicking contest.

But I wanted to update you all and let you know I'm moved in, stuff is put away and my cat is happier than I can remember her being in years.

I've got hardwood floors, big honkin' windows, 3 bedrooms, a very cool, quaint kitchen and a living room you could bowl in.

I went from velvet unicorns on the wall, to my own stuff displayed everywhere. I had forgotten how much I love my artwork (such as it is). The paintings done by my mom's dear friend Ruth, the maps, the family photos, the artwork my dad brought back from France after WW II.

All of these things had been in storage and now they are mine to see every day.

Life really is good and I promise, I really do promise, to post some pictures of my new digs soon.

Really... I promise...

OK, I'll try...

And more importantly I will find the time to comment on your blogs.

I miss and love you all.

Big hugs, Laurie

Tech? support...

2008-02-05T22:58:00.001-07:00

I spent most of the afternoon at home trying to get my wireless internet connection to, for lack of a better word, connect. Since I moved, I have had intermittent connection issues. I'd lose connectivity, then regain it. This happened numerous times a day and often at the most inopportune times; while uploading my work websites or worse yet, when talking to the ones I love on messenger.

Last night, after numerous attempts to upload a rather large website update, I called my internet provider's tech support for assistance. He had me restart the cable modem and wireless router, all things I had done numerous times on my own but was more than willing to try again just in case doing so under his tutelage would somehow correct whatever problem there was in my system. Unfortunately, it didn't and he scheduled a service call for today.

Harry, the very kind and knowledgeable service rep, was a bit late to arrive and while I was waiting, my cable TV quit working. I hoped that the TV would remain on the fritz until Harry arrived, so that he might have a better chance diagnosing the problem, but it did not and by the time he arrived I had both cable TV and cable internet.

As he walked through the door, he asked if I had lost service completely for a few minutes. I responded that I had lost cable TV for a little while, but still had internet. The look on his face was priceless. Apparently Harry had replaced the main line to my apartment, hoping that it would fix my connectivity problem. Since both cable TV and cable internet come from the same line, I should have lost both during the replacement.

We finally figured out that I had been "borrowing" internet from someone in the area and had never actually been connected to my own router. Aha, we thought, that should solve the problem. We hooked to the router through a hard line and went through all the steps necessary to set up a network, but no matter what we did, it still wouldn't connect to my own router.

Harry called his tech support person who told him it must be a router problem. He told me to contact my router's tech support, which I did through live chat. The first tech (yes this is a long story, so smoke 'em if you got 'em), had me go into dos, change some settings, stand on one foot and wave a magic wand. Finally, after about 2 hours and several dark moments, I was connected to my own router!

Yippee! I was home free.

Or not.

After about an hour I got the horrifying "blue screen of death". After watching my system crash and restarting the computer, I connected again.

As you can see, Emily was VERY concerned about my computer problems...

About 15 minutes later I was rewarded with another blue screen. I hooked up to a hardline again and contacted the router company. After at least an hour and so many changes to my system I had to copy and paste the instructions into a word document to keep track of them, my system was once again, connected to the proper router. I checked email, chatted with some friends and finally uploaded the large file to my website.

Now, about 3 hours later, I have still not had another b-l-u-e s-c-r-e-e-n o-f d-e-a-t-h (yes, I'm spelling it in hopes that the computer does NOT recognize what I'm saying and reward me with yet another) and it seems that it may actually be working.

Another strange thing that has happened since I moved in to my own place is that my TV has decided it needs to display close captioning. I have tried everything to remove it, to no avail.

I was chatting with some friends tonight on yahoo and they had several suggestions. They told me to go into the menu, which I did. I started clicking on things and ended up with the entire menu in Spanish.

Since I have no grasp of that language and frankly a very limited grasp of English, I was at a loss as to how to change it back to English. I kept fiddling with things as my cyber friends urged me on and I ended up with what I can only imagine was the Arabic language on my menu.

Since I couldn't figure out how to turn off close captioning in English, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be able to change it in either Spanish or Arabic. I was about to give up when I noticed a button on the remote that said CC. I pushed it and viola, close captioning disappeared. Who'd have thunkit? CC stands for close captioning.

Hmmm, I never made the connection.

I think I'll join my kitty in bed now. I've had enough fun for the day...

Sigh...is it Friday yet?

Oh the joys of working from home...

2008-01-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

I am blessed to have a fantastic job. I get to travel a lot and work from home when the need arises. Today was one of those days. I've been trying to catch a cold and since it is -17F outside right now, I opted to work from home during the later part of the day.

It's been a very pleasant and productive afternoon. I've stayed in touch with my co-workers via the phone and internet and I've gotten more done than I most likely would have at work where there are more distractions.

Not to say that I don't have distractions here, just not quite as many...

...but distracting none-the-less.

I am blessed in so many ways...

2008-01-24T21:59:00.000-07:00

I am officially moved! After oh-so-very-many trips up and down the 30 stairs that lead to my new "loft" apartment, I am happily ensconced in my new digs. Although there have been some ups and downs (the up being nearly everything, the down being the night the new heating system failed and I went to bed in 4 sweatshirts, 3 pairs of sweats, thick fuzzy socks, rainbow slippers, cap and mittens.

When I woke up the next morning it was 42 degrees and the water bottle I keep next to my bed was starting to freeze). The contractor who is doing the renovations came by at 8 am and rigged a repair and had a new part overnight expressed in. He was surprised that I hadn't called him at 10 pm when the heater went out and apologized over and over again for my trouble. I just laughed and told him I was a tough Montana chick and it would take more than freezing room temperatures to upset me.

Since then he has gone even farther out of his way to accommodate me and even had one of his carpenters hang my new solar blinds for me. I have been truly blessed so often in my life and this is one of those times. I don't think I could have found a more 'fun' apartment or a better landlord or contractor.

I have also been blessed with wonderful friends. They've helped me move, driving 100's of miles, making dozens of trips up and down the steps and they've asked nothing at all in return.

I am also incredibly blessed with a fantastic family. My brother, my dad, the cousins and of course my fabulous son Wolf who drove from Denver to spend this weekend with me. He and I are in Billings with the cousins now and will drive to Forsyth tomorrow to Feng Shui the apartment and spend some quality time together.

How lucky can a gal get?

On top of spaghetti...

2008-01-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dad came through the surgery. Other than some blood pressure and low oxygen levels, all went well. Because of the b.p., they decided to keep him in the hospital for a few days. His readings were ultra high and a few hours later, really low, so they are keeping a close watch on him.

He is also quite confused; more so than normal. Probably the hardest thing for Mike and I right now is that he thinks mom is still alive. I've been staying with him at the hospital and I don't have the heart to tell him she's gone; I just don't want him to have to go through that again.

He keeps trying to call her but it won't go through. It about broke my heart when he said he'd just have to wait for her to call him. I hope this phase of the disease doesn't last long. Sometimes I think it would be easier on him to be oblivious to the present, like a lot of the people in his nursing home ward are, but of course, that's not my call.

You will notice from the picture, however, that he still has his appetite and that has to be a good thing. The red stuff on his shirt and face is the spaghetti he had for lunch. Some of it even made it to his tummy, I promise.

Dad sleep pets the dog...

2008-01-18T09:44:00.001-07:00

On the home front, I haven't managed to get everything into my new place yet. Bad weather, lots of meetings and late nights has put a crimp in my moving style. My hope is that I get everything in on Sunday with the help of a few men with strong backs and good legs. There are 30, count them 30, steps to my new apartment so moving furniture up them is not for the faint of heart. I, myself, have made about a bazillion trips up and down and my legs are as muscular as I can ever remember them. This move is going to be good for me in so many ways!

You may be asking yourself (if you've managed to hang on this long) why doesn't she move the rest in today? The reason is because my dad is having hernia surgery in Billings so I am here with him. It's not a very serious operation, but with dad's age and Parkinson's to consider, there is always a chance (though I prefer to believe it to be VERY slight) that there could be complications.

So as usual, I am sending out a request for your kind thoughts and prayers to be sent this direction. My dad is a wonderful, sweet, dear man and he is very much loved by all that know him and it gives us all comfort knowing you are holding him in your hearts.

Take good care, my dear friends. I'll talk to you soon.

The best son in the universe!!!

2008-01-15T12:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, as if you didn't already know it, I have the best son in the universe. When he heard I was moving (according to him it was long overdue), he ordered these for me on Amazon.com. Isn't he the most thoughtful son?

And speaking of the move...

The apartment finally has heat! Yes folks, a brand spankin' new heating and air conditioning system is up and running. I had moved a lot of things in while freezing my tushy off, but now I can officially get the heck out of Dodge and into my own digs.

I had planned to move my chaise lounge, bed, dresser and numerous boxes today, but a howling wind and wet wet snowstorm settled in upon us so that may have to wait for tomorrow.

I'm leaving a lot of things with R. I'm mainly taking the things that have sentimental value and things we had two of. Not that I think R would accuse me of taking more than my fair share, but "someone else" most likely would, so I'm not taking any chances. I just want the drama to end.

I'll keep you all posted and post some pictures when I finally get everything moved in.

Hugs to all.

A new chapter...

2008-01-08T06:33:00.000-07:00

I am moving! I found a loft-type apartment in Forsyth. The gigantic leaded-style windows overlook the historic district, such as it is, and it has three bedrooms. I would have gotten something much smaller and easier to heat and cool, but it's hard to find a place that will take my cat, especially on short notice.

As some of you know, I have lived with my friend R for many years. We have some interests in common and have had a lot of fun. He has been dating a mutual acquaintance for several months now and she has decided that she doesn't like me living there. She has told several of my friends that she was going to get me out of there one way or another and apparently, she means it. Her way of removing me has been to start causing problems. She's done some pretty scary things which are giving me cause to fear for my safety and more importantly the safety of my extended family, so the time has come to move.

I am sad for a few reasons, and these are in random order:

~R and I have been friends for a lot of years and it pains me to have our friendship end this way, but some people have no conscience and don't care what they do to get their way and she is one of them, so this is for the best.

~I will miss the 5 cats that I can't take with me. The cat I brought into the house with me thinks she is a dog and she hates cats with a passion (I think she's a cog or a dat to be honest). She was raised by my border collie and we have always had to keep her separate from the others. She stayed downstairs with R and the rest were upstairs with me. I can't even begin to imagine how empty the house will feel with only one cat to keep me entertained, but as I said, this is for the best and R has agreed for me to have visitation rights.

~I spend a lot of time with the neighbor's dog, Keeper. He is the sweetest cocker spaniel dog in the world and he loves me more than his owner (of course I bring him the best treats and take him in my car and walk him to the river, so it stands to reason that he would love me). I know that I can always go over and pick him up for walks and rides, but it's not quite the same as being there all the time.

But I am happy for several reasons as well (also in random order):

~I can invite my friends over whenever I want without wondering if it will bother my roommate.

~I can decorate the place any way that I like. Since the house was in his name, I didn't want to change the decor, it was, after all, "his" house. So I lived with the felt unicorn picture, the stained glass white tiger pane and the deer drawings. It will be nice to have some things of my own on display, although I gave most of my things away when I moved.

~I can't stand the drama that this woman has brought into my life. I'm a happy person who sees the glass half full. Recent events have left me doubting not only myself, but humanity and I do not like feeling that way. I just need to have my own space for awhile to get back to myself.

~I've always loved adventure and in Forsyth, this is about the most adventure one can have. So wish me luck, folks. And if you can recommend a good Feng Shui book, please do so. I'm gonna need all the help I can get decorating this behemoth.

The Switch...

2008-01-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

There are some people in the world that seem to have an on/off switch for their emotions. Do you know anyone like that? One moment the switch is on and they care about you and the next, for no apparent reason, the switch is off and they want nothing to do with you. I know quite a few people like that and it never ceases to amaze me when the switch flips.

I guess this type of person isn't capable of deep emotion or true love or maybe they are just more evolved and have figured out a way to control their emotions in a way I never will and to be honest, never really want to.

I love deep, I love hard, I love forever. I still care deeply for the first man I ever loved. We were not destined to be and the love we shared wasn't a deep, "can't live without him" kind of love, but I loved him and he loved me. I never lost that love and I'm glad. I still have strong feelings for every man that I've had a relationship with and I suppose, me being me and all, I always will.

I think it's a good thing. I'm glad. It might be easier to have a flippable switch. It might take less out of a person and make the hardships in life easier to manage...but I'll take the pain and the sorrow and the joy and elation of loving deep.

I'll take the agony and the ecstasy of loving with abandon, with giving my whole heart, with throwing not only caution, but reason to the wind and loving with everything I've got. I truly believe that in the end, I will be richly rewarded.

By the way, I'm not talking about my current love life!

Pre-wash

2007-12-30T22:41:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that my cousins and I have a house in Billings. The 4 kid-cousins, Eric, Marissa, Sadie Rose and Luke live there along with my cousins Kay and Sharon. I visit often.

The house is really nice. The neighborhood is a good one; it's mostly families and there is a park across the street with playground equipment and picnic tables.

The house has a lot of room for the kids, the rooms are of a good size and it is well lit and functional. The bathrooms are a nice size and the fixtures are all nearly new.

The appliances aren't top of the line, but we will upgrade them as needed in the future.

There is one appliance we feel very blessed to have. It's top of the line and has extra features that I believe make it better, by far, than other appliances of its type.

I hope we never have to replace it.

Please pardon the poor quality photo, I didn't have time to get the real camera and had to take this shot with my cell phone.

I hope you all have a fabulous New Year's Eve and that all your hopes and dreams come true in 2008.

I love you all.