I purposely didn't call my son when dad died, because I knew he had worked all night and would be sleeping. There was nothing that could be done for daddy, so I waited until I knew he would be up. It was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make.
As soon as he heard the news he began preparing to come home. He was packed and ready when he went into work to tell his boss, and left from there. He got to Absarokee at around 11:00PM. As my brother said, things seemed better after he arrived.
Wolf helped make the arrangements and did whatever needed to be done. Mostly we all hung out together, told dad stories and hugged a lot. Thursday Wolf and I went to Billings to spend some time with the kidcousins and pick up things that we needed for the service and reception.
One of the things that we needed to do was pick up dad's ashes from the funeral home, which we did on Friday.
We made the pick-up and as we were walking out to the car, I started talking about where to put the beautiful wooden urn that my brother had picked out. I said, "I don't know where to put daddy", and started to cry. My son put the urn in the front seat and came around to my side of the car and hugged me. We stood there for a long time, while I cried and cried.
There was a brief silence and as I was about to begin crying again my son said "you smell like cat food, but nice". I went from hysterical crying to hysterical laughter in the blink of an eye. I had been keeping my cat's food and water in my clothes closet and apparently the odor had been absorbed into my clothing.
I learned two things that day:
- I have a son who can make me laugh on one of the saddest days of my life and
- I needed to find a new place to feed my cat.
He later told me that he just didn't know what to say.
I'd say he did.
Now if he'd just quit calling me Friskies...
12 comments:
What a rough time you have had! Hugs...
Maybe Wolf didn't know what to say, but he said a perfect thing.
You're so lucky to have had Wolf to stand by your side that day. (and every day)
Hang on to the people who love you.
{{{more hugs}}}
Whether he meant it or not, it was a really good thing to say. All the best.
Oh it's so good to have each other at such a sad time isn't it? This made me think of the summer my Grandpa died---I've felt like and orphan since I lost him. I found an email I printed out from him in my diary the other day and in it he wrote about how much he loved me and not to be sad when he and my Grandma were gone. It made me feel like he was still with me because his words are still with me. Some losses one just never get over but after a while I hope a thought of your dad will bring happiness in tears just like my email from the other day did for me Laurie. My heart breaks for you.
But oh how you've raised such a loving son!
I am really sorry about your Dad. You are so lucky to have such a sensitive son who knows what to do and say at the right time. Remember the good times and the love!
Wolf is your perfect son. You two are so in tune. I'm happy for you that you have each other through hard times and good times.
Sending many more hugs!
LOL! Smelling of catfood! That is too funny, and Wolf picked the purrfect thing to say... even without knowing it!
Big hugs, Laurie.
Hugs to both you and Wolf. What a sweet son. My brother and I were crying hard and laughing hard at my Dad's funeral. People just watched us, and we didn't care. It helped.
{{{HUGS}}}
Hey Laurie - I am glad to see you writing a little more; I know it's hard to share when you are in pain. God bless Wolf; sometimes women are hard on men because they don't know "what to say" in painful or emotional situations, but he did a really good job. I was tearing up when you described how sad you were, but I laughed out loud at his comment! No wonder Dale loved him so.
{{{HUGS}}} to you and to Wolf. Hang in there.
once again you convey you are such a lovely person
and this was a lovely post.
I am so glad to be part of your life experience.
Just think about how Wolf's comments and your laughing made your dad feel. He was laughing right along with you.
You have a wonderful son, but you already know that. We're never ready to be "the grown-up" in the family when our parents leave us, are we. Prayers for your peace and comfort, sweetie.
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