Sunday, October 12, 2008

Saying ta ta to the ta ta's...

I've had neck problems for most of my adult life, but they have worsened considerably in the last 2 years. The doctor said it is because my body has gotten smaller, but the "girls" have not.

I woke up in the morning shortly after my 16th birthday with enormous breasts. I was a tall, thin and lanky and loved to play basketball and shoot pool and these unwanted female accessories did nothing but foul up my free shot and my break. In later life, my son's friends would comment to him that I had "bodacious ta tas". Sigh...

My recent weight loss has put a lot of stress on my neck. Apparently the girls, who haven't shrunk at all in cup size, are too heavy, now, for my significantly smaller frame.

Neck problems, shoulder problems, numb arms and hands and a constant headache finally took me to a doctor who told me she thought the cause of my malaise was my overgrown knockers.

Having long since tired of having the pains and aches they cause, I visited a plastic surgeon who, after a myriad of tests they apparently have to give to a woman of my advanced years, advised a breast reduction.

I am NOT a fan of surgery of any type and the thought that my mammary glands would be whittled upon truly scared the sh*t out of me, but a two month headache finally turned the tide and I decided to go for it.

Tomorrow is the big day. I have had almost 3 weeks to "prepare" myself for the operation...and the closer I get, the more nervous I become. The kid cousins have entertained me with shopping, board games, twister and even poker, and it has been a godsend to have them keeping my mind off of things, but as the time draws nearer, I have to say I'm very anxious.

I just have to keep thinking that by doing this I will be free from the headaches, my shoulder and neck will stop aching all the time and it is even possible that men will notice that "my eyes are up here".

I believe it is a win-win situation, but after having waited this long...a monstrous winter storm has hit the city of Billings, knocking out power lines and causing all kinds of chaos. My hope now is that the weather will stabilize and I will be able to have the surgery in the morning and all will go well.

And I will finally be able to say ta ta to the ta tas.


Hilary said...

Sending best thoughts for all to turn out well. Keep us .. ummm... abreast of things. ;)

Mary said...

Laurie, I'll be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery, sweetie.

I see you have not lost your sense of humor. You had me laughing out loud!

Seriously, you'll feel a whole lot better without those jugs weighing you down.


Lynne said...

Thinking of you this morning Laurie. Speedy recovery.

Anonymous said...

You should think twice about this. If you ever decide to become a stripper, you'll just end up going back to the doctor and telling him to put 'em back. ;)

Best wishes for a quick recovery!

WW said...

Ahem. Sigh.

I'm sure it'll all be for the breast.

The thing is, the girls will still be there in fine form, just slimmed down, like the breast of you.

All the best, L. You'll still be the beautiful you. This won't change that. And hopefully it'll make you pain-free.


thailandchani said...

Best of luck with your surgery. I had a friend who had the same issue. The girls were just too big! She felt so much better after she had them reduced. :)


Squirl said...

I hope everything has gone well. I also was very slim with large ones as a teenager. Not sure what it would take for me to have surgery, though.

Anvilcloud said...

I hope it went well for you. I know someone who had this surgery and is very happy that she did.


Any surgery is scary but I'm sure that everything will be fine.

You can appreciate that thanks to the Puritan/Victorian phobias of our forefathers, most North American men (except for the lucky bastards living in Vegas) are ridiculously fixated on BREASTS.

The theory of Breast Reduction is no more comprehensible than trying to understand Quantum Physics being taught in Mandarin by a nekkid woman.

*pauses for a moment of silence

Nicole said...

Sweet Laurie,
Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Sending good vibes your way...
Nicole ~.~

moos said...

Hey Laurie, I hope that all went well.

All my bad headaches are sinus related, sigh.

If I had read this earlier I may have looked for you - since I spent Monday in the Billings Clinic ER.

MsLittlePea said...

At first I started reading this thinking, "Oh great another bigboobied woman complaining, well this flatchester does NOT feel sorry!" Just kidding! Hope you get through it ok and have a speedy recovery. I'll be the first to welcome you to smallerboob world, as my new sister. When you are recovered, go lingerie shopping for a cutesy bra--that's what my friend did when she got her reduction since she had always been too big for them. Take care Laurie!

Ponygirl said...

Laurie, having worked for a plastic surgeon a number of years ago and assisted in breast reductions, all I can tell you is all the women said "why did I wait so long?" when they came in for their 2 week post-op checkup.

Hope you are now pain free and less encumbered. And a positive is, you should be able to buy all those cute bras that never came in your size!

Laurie said...

Thanks for all of the comments! As it turned out, the surgery center I was supposed to go to had no power.

I went in at 7 am and waited until after 10 am, when they formally announced that they were shutting down.

I called my doctor's office and his staff started calling around to see if the surgery could be performed somewhere else.

It took about an hour, but they did it! I ended up at St. Vincent's hospital here in Billings. The surgery was scheduled for 1:30 pm and actually started on time.

I had the best of care and my doctor said the surgery was a complete success in every way! I am truly blessed.

Once again, thanks to all of you for your sweet and funny comments!

seventh sister said...

Good luck with this.

Ur-spo said...

good luck to you on all of this.

threecollie said...

Wishing you well....

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

I hope your surgery is a success and you are free of pain.

I suffer from chronic lower back pain. What can I have made smaller and lighter.