Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saying ta ta to the ta ta's...
I've had neck problems for most of my adult life, but they have worsened considerably in the last 2 years. The doctor said it is because my body has gotten smaller, but the "girls" have not.
I woke up in the morning shortly after my 16th birthday with enormous breasts. I was a tall, thin and lanky and loved to play basketball and shoot pool and these unwanted female accessories did nothing but foul up my free shot and my break. In later life, my son's friends would comment to him that I had "bodacious ta tas". Sigh...
My recent weight loss has put a lot of stress on my neck. Apparently the girls, who haven't shrunk at all in cup size, are too heavy, now, for my significantly smaller frame.
Neck problems, shoulder problems, numb arms and hands and a constant headache finally took me to a doctor who told me she thought the cause of my malaise was my overgrown knockers.
Having long since tired of having the pains and aches they cause, I visited a plastic surgeon who, after a myriad of tests they apparently have to give to a woman of my advanced years, advised a breast reduction.
I am NOT a fan of surgery of any type and the thought that my mammary glands would be whittled upon truly scared the sh*t out of me, but a two month headache finally turned the tide and I decided to go for it.
Tomorrow is the big day. I have had almost 3 weeks to "prepare" myself for the operation...and the closer I get, the more nervous I become. The kid cousins have entertained me with shopping, board games, twister and even poker, and it has been a godsend to have them keeping my mind off of things, but as the time draws nearer, I have to say I'm very anxious.
I just have to keep thinking that by doing this I will be free from the headaches, my shoulder and neck will stop aching all the time and it is even possible that men will notice that "my eyes are up here".
I believe it is a win-win situation, but after having waited this long...a monstrous winter storm has hit the city of Billings, knocking out power lines and causing all kinds of chaos. My hope now is that the weather will stabilize and I will be able to have the surgery in the morning and all will go well.
And I will finally be able to say ta ta to the ta tas.