Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Discoveries


I’ve discovered several things in recent years.

I’m not afraid to love. I love without worrying whether or not my love will be returned. I’ve discovered that it is enough just to love.

I care more deeply about my family with every passing day. Maybe it’s because we lost mom and dad isn’t doing very well, maybe it’s because I’ve discovered that earthly life is finite. The reason doesn’t matter. I care more.

I’m more forgiving and less judgmental. Horrible things have happened to people I love. I’ve discovered that it isn’t my “job” to make the pain go away or hate the person who inflicted it. All I can do is show them that I care and listen when they talk.

I work too much. When I’m not at work, I’m thinking about work. Even when I take days off, I check my work email and call the office. I worry over every detail of a project even when it’s not my detail. I’ve discovered that work isn’t as important as life and the people in it.

With that thought in mind…


I took the afternoon off. Shasta, my dad and I drove to “The Secret Place” and frolicked in the mud. You do NOT want to see my car seats right now. But I’ve discovered that I don’t care.

When I returned, I made Lasagna, from scratch! My brother, dad and I visited while it baked. Then I made biscuits. Late this afternoon I discovered that I hadn’t even checked my work email.

My dad and our neighbor Lois have tummy’s full of lasagna, Shasta is happy and relaxed and I feel like a million dollars. I think I’m on to something here, what do you think?

38 comments:

Mary said...

I think you are being honest with yourself, true to your emotions, and allowing yourself to enjoy life. That's a good thing. Period. Keep spreading your joy.

Laurie said...

I think I'm on the right track here Mary. I really do. I feel good about my decision not to work this afternoon. Not long ago, I wouldn't have.

Bonita said...

Yup. You are on to something. Now, if only you'd posted an image of that lasagna. ~ Bonita

LauraHinNJ said...

Lasagna is always the right choice!

My job is just a job for me, but not everyone thinks that way. Some time off always improves things when you do go back, don't you think?

Ur-spo said...

i've seen many people at the end of their lives; not one said 'gee, I regret I took so much time off"

Wise woman to discover the 'work' matter...

Laurie said...

Bonita, I will next time, I promise.

Laura, I agree! I feel better already.

Ur-spo, very true. I need to remember that!

KC said...

You have got your priorities straight. I love your afternoon.

Laurie said...

KC, it was just right. My evening has been wonderful too. I still haven't checked my work email.

Several of my board members read this blog. They will be happy to know that I'm taking a break because they worry that I'll burn out.

ThomasLB said...

When I was younger, I thought there was nothing worse than growing old. Now that I'm firmly in middle age, I find that it's not so bad. There are compensations.

Sure, I'd like my old body back- this one breaks down with alarming regularity- but I'm pretty pleased with where my head's at.

Anvilcloud said...

Good thoughts; good day.

Laurie said...

Thomas, so far middle age is treating me pretty well, health-wise and other-wise. By the way, from what I've read on your blog, you do seem to know where you are going in life.

AC, yes indeed. And by the way, I hope your computer is fixed soon!

Now it's back to Forsyth I go...

MsLittlePea said...

Absolutely. Cooking for someone is such a good way to show them you love them.
To love without fear-(in my best Martha Stewart voice)It's a good thing!

Dave said...

You are on to something!! You are on to living. You are on to being just being. You enjoy things for what they are not what you want them to be or how they should be. You seemed to discover the NOW and you are filling up on love. Love of life Love of love just a peaceful blissful feeling that comes when you do place any importance on what or where or why. It feels good and it gets better. Stay in Peace and enjoy the ride.
Thank You for your lesson

somewhere joe said...

laurie, it's called wisdom. nobody gets it until they get it. Thank heaven it does show up though - by the time it arrives, there's no more energy to waste on foolishness.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Laurie, I believe that your discoveries come with maturity. Not age maturity, but real emotional maturity. Unfortunately, not all folks reach the level of maturity that you have gained. Some wouldn't reach it in three lifetimes.

Laurie said...

Mspea, I guess subconsciously, that's what I've been doing. :)

Dave, I'm a work in progress.

Joe, some people "get" it earlier in life. I'm a late bloomer.

Nick, there's still a long path ahead, but I think I'm on the right track.

Squirl said...

I agree with SS Nick. You don't just have these things come to you as you pass each birthday. It's every single experience that just adds to the ones before.

Good thing you realized your priorities while you still have plenty of life left to live.

Laurie said...

Squirl, some of my recent experiences have awakened me to the way things really are. I am thankful.

Carol said...

Oh, Laurie, how lucky you are to have reached this point in your life. I am yet to get there, but it inspires me when I see others get there. BTW, beanie babies are on their way to you today.

Laurie said...

Carol, I think I'm heading in the right direction. I don't know that it will all be clear sailing, but at least I know which direction I'm going.

And thank you so much for sending the beanie babies. I will give them a wonderful home.

By the way, I was commenting on your blog while you were commenting on mine. :)

Cathy said...

Laurie, Laurie, Laurie - The pictures - the wisdom - the acceptance of the 'is-ness' of life.

I am so sorry that your dad is struggling. He's so blessed to have you caring - and making lasagna and taking him to the Secret Place and being the kind of special person that lets the dog get muddy and climb back into the car. Blessed, indeed.

Laurie said...

Cathy, my brother is so amazing with my dad. It's beautiful to see. I just do what little I can. And I'm the one that is blessed. By every day that I have with my family.

Thailand Gal said...

*applause*


Peace,

~Chani

Laurie said...

*Takes a bow*

NatureWoman said...

Right one Laurie! It is such freedom to finally reach these milestones in life, isn't it!
I have discovered that no workplace has any loyalty to me no matter how hard I work, so. . . I'm much more relaxed, even though I work very hard, but my time off is *my* time off! Kudos to you!!!!
Oh, and homemade Lasagna - nothing like it, is there?

Pam said...

You are discovering the secrets to a full and contented life. Happiness comes and goes, but peace of mind is forever.

Homo Escapeons said...

Life is like Winter driving..

You start off C C Cold and you don't have time to warm up the engine before you take off.
You race off and hit a few skids sometimes you even end up in the ditch but before you know it you're tearin' down the windy road

..and when the interior is finally nice and 'toasty' your destination comes into view dammit!

This is when you finally slow down enough to notice a few new wrinkles and patches of grey in the rear view mirror but don't care, you start to appreciate the scenery all around you instead of staring straight ahead, and you make a conscious decision to enjoy the rest of the trip.

butterfly girl said...

My best friend said to me last night, "Do you work to live? or Live to work?" I definately work to live, I just don't get paid!!! *L*

Laurie said...

Naturewoman, I actually followed the recipe and got tech support from the friend who gave it to me. It turned out really well!

Pam, you are a wise woman.

HE, I have definitely hit the skids a time or two! But now, as I mature, I am much more mindful of the scenery.

Butterfly, your friend is very wise. And just because you don't get a paycheck, doesn't mean it isn't work.

Anonymous said...
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Laurie said...

Anon, if you hurt someone without realizing it, apologize and go on with life. If you hurt someone on purpose; stop and make amends if possible.

How you treat others is usually, in the end, how you are treated.

At least that's been my experience.

Within Without said...

Beautiful thoughts, inspiring pictures, warm images, an enlightened outlook.

:-)

Laurie said...

Thanks WW, your words, as always, are a gift to me.

Anonymous said...
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Laurie said...

Anon, it's your story...only you can know what you've done to whom.

Anonymous said...
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A Concerned Taxpayer said...
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Laurie said...
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