Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Love Hurts!

My printer sent me an instant message today. To be honest, I was surprised and flattered. I had been rather smitten since I met him and it seemed that he was interested in me too. He lit up when I touched him and always did an extra-special job of scanning and copying, but today was the first time he’d ever "hit" on me. The message was brief, but suggestive. It said that he had a “special invitation” for me.


To be honest, it’s been awhile since I’ve been given a “special invitation”, so it piqued my curiosity. Being the daring girl that I am, I clicked on his message. Don’t think badly of me, I’m not one of those girls who shops on the internet for boyfriends or picks up her men-friends at the local tavern, but like everyone else, I have needs and desires.

His message was brief; “You have been given a special invitation to receive rewards and benefits”. My mind reeled. What kind of rewards and benefits could he possibly be offering?

Did he want to take me away to the islands to snorkel and and lie on the white sand while he fanned me with a palm frond?


Did he plan to take me to Paris to welcome the spring?


Did he want to shower me with gems and take me to the mountains to ski and drink hot chocolate?


Deep sea fishing in the Bahamas?


Or perhaps a safari to Africa to photograph wild game?

Whatever my printer had in mind for me, he promised that it would make using him much more enjoyable. I was lost in my romantic, and slightly suggestive dreams…clicking to read each tender message in rapid succession. How would I tell my dad, my brother, my friends? My mind reeled at the thought of my printer and I on a lover’s holiday...

Then, as suddenly as it began, it ended with these fateful words…”Please enter your credit card information here”.

Sigh.

41 comments:

Mary said...

The suspense - the drama! You go, girl! Actually, you described something EVERY WOMAN WANTS. Ahhhh. What a nice getaway...giggle ;o)

Laurie said...

Mary, I thought it was true love, but alas money got in the way. I guess that's a common problem for couples these days...

Courtney said...

Can't... Not... Make... Lewd... Comment... Must... Be... Crass...

Laurie said...

Courtney, You? Crass? I think not!

Courtney said...

Never!

Laurie said...

Courtney, I thought not!

Within Without said...

HA!!!

Absolutely excellent!!!

Men can kinda be like that, can't they??? As inanimate an object as a printer?

Promising everything...but for a price...

I'm laughin.

Laurie said...

WW, I figured you would get it. ;-). Glad I made you laugh.

jen said...

this one had me laughing out loud and made J pause the movie he was watching.

rock on.

jen said...

sister. please, please email me the link to this post. i want to nominate it for a ROFL. This is so freaking funny I can't stand myself. But I need the link.

girlplustwo at yahoo dot com.

threecollie said...

The cad!

ThomasLB said...

My printer just says things like "I'm out of paper," or "I need ink." It's always ME ME ME.

It never considers my needs...

NatureWoman said...

LOL Laurie! This was a great post!

Thailand Gal said...

Oh, gosh! Well, that certainly made me laugh!


Peace,

~Chani

Ur-spo said...

hohoho
i saw that one coming!

Laurie said...

Jen, he sent me an email last night. I think he wants to try again, but if he only wants me for my money, I'm not interested. *Sniff*.


Threecollie, I agree!

Thomas, I'm just starting to realize that about him. If only I'd of known before...

Naturewoman (Pam), I'm glad you enjoyed...

Chani, good!

Ur-spo, I'm not at all surprised that you did!

MsLittlePea said...

Maybe I should introduce him to my printer and they could date. You wouldn't be jealous would you?

Laurie said...

Littlepea, no, I wouldn't be jealous. I'm SO over him!

Dave said...

What a great story. Can your printer meet my scanner? That would be something for another time.

Laurie said...

Dave, it might be a match made in heaven!

Gawpo said...

Ha!!! That was BRILLIANT, Laurie! Loved it. You know, Louis Prima wrote a song about this guy: Just A Gigalo.

Laurie said...

Gawpo, glad you liked it. I might have to change the song on my sidebar. Thanks for the idea!

Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink said...

You're a hoot!

Thanks for the laughs you cheeky monkey!
xx
pinks

Laurie said...

Pink, cheeky monkey? I'm flattered!

Squirl said...

That was definitely cute. I love the different photos.

Laurie said...

Squirl, a night of insomnia, a new photoshop program and a strange sense of humor...a dangerous combination. ;-)

somewhere joe said...

Peripherals are dogs.

Laurie said...

Joe, yes they are! :-|

mist1 said...

I sent lewd photos of myself to my printer once. It still hasn't IM'd me.

Dee said...

LOL..I liked this post. Great one.

Laurie said...

Mist, if you'd have included your credit card number, you two would probably be in Cancun right now. Peripherals, *harumph*.

KC said...

Man, Laurie, what a player!

hee hee

Laurie said...

Dee, I'm glad!

KC, no kidding! Totally unlike my cell phone...he loves me for ME!

kj said...

hahahah. awesome, laurie!

i'll be back. and thanks for visiting my neck of the woods.

Laurie said...

KJ, I have a "good" used printer if you are interested. Ha! Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, The Joys said...

That is hilarious! Congrats on the ROFL!

Kyla said...

Hilarious!!!! Here from jen's.

Laurie said...

Joys, thank you!

Kyla, thanks for stopping by :)

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