No words...

Dad passed away early this morning. There are no words to describe how much he will be missed.

I just wanted you all to know.

The diagnosis is in...

It’s official. According to reliable sources I have B.A.D.D., and from the look of it, a fairly serious case. There is no known cure, although sometimes it clears up on its own, sometimes not. There is really no treatment, other than time.

Symptoms include lack of focus, inability to sit still for long periods of time and the urge to move ones legs and tap ones fingers to the rhythm of life. Other, not so typical symptoms, but ones that I have noticed in myself, are the desire to drive fast with the sunroof open and stereo turned up loud, the nearly insatiable longing to spend as much time as possible outside despite the still somewhat wintry weather, and the yearning to interact with others on a face-to-face basis.

Yes, folks, I have Blog Attention Deficit Disorder. It’s possible you’ve noticed my lack of comments, posts and participation in just about anything related to cyber-ia. It seems I’ve discovered that real life is more interesting… more fulfilling…more fun! Not that I don’t love you all and enjoy hearing about your lives and passions, because I do. It’s just that living in the present, in the here and now are more important to me right now.

Maybe it’s the hope that spring is on the way, maybe it’s a new way of life for me, I don’t know. I just know that I want and need to interact more with people in real life and one way to do that is to spend less time online.

I want to sing (much to the dismay of those around me), I want to dance (steel-toed boots for everyone), I want to hike, I want to camp, I want to LIVE life to the fullest extent possible while still avoiding jail time! Ha!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I may post once in awhile, I may stop blogging completely. I just don’t know. What I do know is that I will check in on you all from time to time and I’d love to hear from you via email if you feel so inclined.

But for right now, I’ve got B.A.D.D., and it seems I’ve got it BAD.

Hugs,
Laurie

Lost Generation

I love this...I hope you do too.

Today I

...laughed in amusement at my bosses bad mood rather than became annoyed like my co-workers.

...held my cat on my shoulder and watched the deer forage for food in the back yard.

...walked 34 blocks, once again getting brain freeze without benefit of eating ice cream, and would have walked more if time hadn't been an issue.

...watched in awe as a man I have known my whole life was uplifted by his wife in the nursing home as he recoverd from a stroke.

...wondered if I would ever be so blessed as to have a man in my life that would be there for me if I were ever in that position.

...slammed so hard on my brakes to avoid a deer running across the road that the groceries I had placed in the back seat ended up in the front seat.

...gave in when my cat demanded I give her affection, rather than continue with this list.

What did you do today?

Getting the *ell out of Dodge for awhile

Where I am…

INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...COLUMBUS...ABSAROKEE
920 AM MDT TUE MAR 17 2009

...WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM MDT THIS AFTERNOON...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN BILLINGS HAS ISSUED A WINTER
STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW...WHICH IS IN EFFECT
UNTIL 4 PM MDT THIS AFTERNOON.

SNOW...HEAVY AT TIMES WILL CONTINUE IN BANDS OVER SOUTHERN
PORTIONS OF THE WARNED AREA. THERE WILL BE SOME AREAS THAT SEE A
SIGNIFICANT BREAK IN SNOWFALL...WHILE OTHER AREAS WILL SEE
PERSISTENT HEAVY SNOWFALL FOR SEVERAL HOURS. REPORTS THIS MORNING
ARE THAT AROUND 10 INCHES OF SNOW HAS FALLEN IN SOME LOCATIONS OF
THE WARNED AREA ALREADY...WITH AN ADDITIONAL 3 TO 5 INCHES
EXPECTED BY THIS AFTERNOON WITH THE HEAVIER SNOW BANDS. THE
HEAVIEST SNOWFALL WILL IN THE HIGHER BUTTES OF STILLWATER COUNTY.
SNOW ACCUMULATION WILL MAINLY BE ON GRASS COVERED SURFACES WITH
ROADWAYS REMAINING SLUSH COVERED OR WET.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A WINTER STORM WARNING MEANS SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW...
SLEET...AND ICE ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. STRONG WINDS ARE ALSO
POSSIBLE. THIS WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE.

Where I’m going…

Today: A mix of clouds and sun. High 69F. Winds WNW at 10 to 20 mph.
Tonight: Mostly cloudy skies early, then partly cloudy after midnight. Low 42F. Winds W at 10 to 15 mph.
Tomorrow: Mainly cloudy. Slight chance of a rain shower. High 62F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph.
Tomorrow night: A few clouds. Slight chance of a shower through the evening. Low 38F. Winds SSE at 5 to 10 mph.
Thursday: Plenty of sun. Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the low 40s.
Friday: Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the mid 40s.
Saturday: Mix of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the low 40s.

Who knows…I might not come back.

A fork in the road...

My very wise friend told me to write a list of all of the reasons I could think of to continue down a road I have been following for some time. Then she told me to write a list of reasons NOT to continue down this particular path. I was then to make a comparison of the lists.

She said it would help me make a choice that I have been needing to make for quite some time.

I've made the list, I've checked it twice. I made the decision and now I am having a very hard time sticking to it.

Tell me, how do you make extremely important decisions in your life and how do you keep yourself on track to follow through?

TwoThree things...

There are three things I want you to know before I head off into the weekend...

#1. Sharp cheddar cheese and sliced avacodo on double fiber wheat bread does not taste as good as it sounds.

#2. If it is 17F, snowing and blowing and you decide to walk the errands anyway, sacrifice your hairdo and wear your hood. It IS possible to get brain freeze without eating ice cream.

#3. If you are texting to more than one person at a time and send one that says "I love you", be sure that the text goes to your son instead of to a male friend, or they might immediately text back and say "I love you too, hugs, muah".

And that's all I've got folks...aside from these words of wisdom:

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert Heinlein

Have a purrfect weekend.

Just sayin...

These are some of the thoughts I have had on my 28 mile daily commute:

~If you pull out directly in front of me as I am driving on the winding two-lane highway that leads to my work, you had best be prepared to eventually reach speeds approximating the posted 60 mph limit.

~If you are on your cell phone, applying mascara and breast feeding your child all at the same time, please do the gene pool a favor and do not breed again.

~If there are 13 cars, 7 pickups, a semi and four mine busses behind you, it may be an indicator that you are traveling too slowly…either pick-up the pace, pull over on a side road or go home and never drive again.

~If you drive like a bat out of blazes, passing cars on blind corners and double yellow lines and find that you arrive at your destination within seconds of the first person you passed, you MIGHT have defeated your own purpose.

~If you cannot pass an envelope between your car and mine, you might be too close. Any closer and we better be dating.

~If you meet a car and it has its hazard flashers on, NEWS FLASH—there is a hazard ahead. Now is an appropriate time to put on your brakes.

~If you look on the side of your steering wheel, somewhere there is a “stick”. If you push it down it indicates that you are turning right, if you push it up, it indicates that you are turning left. This is available on all newer models and you really should try it sometime.

~If you pull out in front of me on the highway, drive ¼ of a mile at 10 mph and then turn onto a ranch access road, I may hunt you down and pummel you with a large blunt object.

~If you are hauling loose items in the back of your “pickup truck”, there is a strong possibility that they may blow out and be broken to bits upon the highway. This is Montana, ya fool; the wind blows here. If you are too stupid to tie things down, buy a topper shell or better yet move to where the wind does not blow.

And finally, last, but most certainly not least as I meet this Einstein every night on my way home from seeing daddy at the nursing home:

~ If you are driving your four-door Dodge Ram 4 X 4 Pickup with the 12 inch lift kit and the fog lamps as bright as the Seattle Airport Beacon, you had best either stay on your own side of the road, or dim your bright lights so that I might be able to see to pick my ditch.

By the way, that’s quite the commuter vehicle you’ve got there, Brainiac.

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel so much better.

A rant question...

I had a full-fledged rant ready to post, but I am going to spare you, and instead just ask you a question.

What would you do if someone in your family was very, very sick and their family was in denial or just didn't want to take time out of their "busy" lives to do something about it.

Here's the scenario:

N, has surgery for something her brother (and best friend) J had surgery for (and died from), less than a month before. In the course of her recovery, N becomes depressed and increasingly incoherant. Partly because she is grieving for J and partly because she has had to move out of the apartment she has lived in for 25 years and into a residential care facility.

The course of her depression leads her to develop what her caretakers believe to be bulimia or something very similar. The condition goes on for nearly 2 months and N is literally starving to death and getting more and more confused as the days progress. There is nothing else physically wrong with N, she just throws up everything she eats (and has been observed sticking her finger down her throat).

If you were someone who had visited N twice a day during this time and had witnessed her illness progressing, would you contact the immediate family and suggest that they call in psychiatric help?

As you may have guessed, I did that very thing and was told by the family spokeswoman that N was just fine, that her only remaining brother, also N, had been to see her on a regular basis and had said that she was eating and coherant enough to make he own medical decisions. She made it very clear that my input was unwelcome.

To me it seemed that they were willing to just let her die without fighting to help her get well.

It seemed her doctor felt as I did, he saw her this morning and immediately admitted her to the hospital.

So tell me, would you have given the family your 2 cents worth, or would you have kept quiet?

Senior Moment...

Since I seem to be having more and more of these every day, I thought I would share something I got in an email today. You've probably seen it before, but I think it bares repeating.

Cook til ya drop...

I'm not a big fan of eating meals out...it is expensive and generally high in calories, fat, salt and all of the other things that can be avoided when you cook at home.

Since I moved back, I have been doing most of the cooking. My brother works long days or nights and my day is pretty long as well.

When we get home (him at 6:30 in the morning or evening depending upon whether he is on a 12 hour day or night shift, and me at 8 or 9PM), neither one of us has much interest in putting together a dinner meal, let alone deciding what to make for lunch the next day.

What Mike did in the past, was spend most of one day of the weekend cooking everything he needed for the work week. I have carried on that tradition because it works well and it is kind of fun. I put on my favorite tie-dyed shirt, my purple apron, my pink, purple, black and red (I am such a fashion plate) pajama pants with the penguins on them and my big fuzzy multi-colored slippers and start cooking.

Today's fare included a massive potato salad (with red peppers because my brother bought a Costco bag of them and didn't want any of them to go to waste), a gigantic bowl of beef fajitas with fresh mushrooms, red peppers, onions and a tiny bit of sauteed garlic, country potatoes, again with fresh mushrooms, peppers, onion and to add some zest and protein, country style bacon bought from our local meat packing plant a bowl of steamed, glazed carrots and finally a large tuna salad.

I put fresh carrot slices, grapes and triscuits into baggies (no, not all in the same baggy, that would just be gross) and packaged up oatmeal and blueberries for the morning. I accomplished all of this in just under 5 hours and not once did I set off a smoke detector.

Now if neither Mike nor I have to go to the ER during the week for food poisoning, I will consider my cooking day a success.

So tell me, how do you handle meals and meal planning at your household?

Mission Accomplished!

Two of the men that sit with dad at meals are developmentally disabled. Danny and Phil are wonderful guys and my brother and I consider them family. Two of Danny and Phil's favorite things are parties and birthdays. How convenient that the two go so well together!

THE MISSION

A month or so ago, I was feeding dad lunch and Danny asked when my brother's birthday was. I told him it was coming up and that he would be 55. Danny said (and Phil agreed immediately) that we (meaning me) should put on a birthday party at the nursing home for him.

I thought about it for a few minutes and agreed, adding that I thought it ought to be a "surprise" party because I knew that Mike would not let us make a fuss over him if he knew about it.

For weeks we plotted and planned. I had serious doubts that we would pull it off as a surprise, since after all, the people doing the planning (including and possibly most noticeably, me) were in various stages of senility.

As time drew nearer, I went around to the staff and residents to invite them all the the event, which was to be held at 3PM on Sunday, February 1. A gigantic cake was ordered and ice cream purchased. Napkins and plates, banners and presents were aquired and still Mike had no clue what was going on.

The plans were finalized the morning of the big day. Cousin Kay and the kidcousins were bringing the ice cream and picking up the cake. It was my job to deliver Mike to the nursing home by 3, WITHOUT him realizing that something was afoot.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the coffee was delicious as was the breakfast I managed not to burn. We puttered about, doting on the animals, doing some laundry and paperwork.

I had already told Mike that our friend Joyce was going to be at the nursing home for the Super Bowl party that afternoon and he had agreed to meet her there to show her some school photos that we had found in Uncle John's house when we were cleaning it out.

Around 2:15 we were ready to leave Absarokee and drive the 14 miles to Columbus to the nursing home. Cousin Kay and I were discretely text messaging back and forth as Mike drove toward out destination. Kay had accidently left her purse in a restroom in Billings and had gone back to retrieve it, but was once again on her way to set things up for the party.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

About half way to Columbus Mike suggested we walk his dog at her favorite fishing access along the Stillwater River. Not being able to come up with a plausible reason why not to, I said (grudgingly) "Sure".

Mike rambled on and on about a huge tree he had seen on his last visit. It had fallen across a large rock at the end of the footpath and he wanted to get a photo or two of it.

When we got to the end of the trail, I had to admit to myself that it was quite a sight and well worth being a few minutes late to the party.



As usual when I am outside, the time slipped away from me. We walked and admired the beauty of the Stillwater River.

Shasta, in all her glory, frolicked along the river's edge...


I, obviously, took some pictures and Mike did too...



Shasta found something to roll in on the ice and we laughed at her exhuberance...


We finally got a little chilly and began walking back to the car.

I was relieved, to say the least, when I got back to the car and saw a text message from Kay saying that she and the kidcousins had arrived at the nursing home and the party was set up and ready for our arrival.

I sent her a quick text telling her we had been way-layed and would be there in 15 or 20 minutes, so imagine my dismay when Mike suggested we take his car to the carwash before going to see dad.

I hid my frustration well, however, so well in fact, that after we washed the car (you should have seen me spraying and barking orders at Mike...it was quite comical and by the end of it both Mike and I were drenched), we stopped at the grocery store for bread and milk.

We finally arrived at the nursing home, only 45 minutes late and one of the nurses sent Mike to the dining hall in search of Gramp. Imagine the look on his face when he saw 40 or so people and this....

Yes, folks, he was surprised!

A good time was had by all...

Especially THESE GUYS (from clockwise; Gramp, Phil and Danny)!

SPLASHDOWN!

I got nothin'

Seriously, I have nothing. Not a thing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Nothing new to report, nothing old to update, not a darn thing happenin' here, but the usual.

And I LIKE IT!

If you have something, I hope it's a good something.

Hugs to all,

Laurie

Livin' on Toast and Tang, Hungry Like the Wall and other song lyrics I don't know...

One of the women that works in the office next to me is outrageously funny. Seriously folks, when she's on a roll, she makes me spit water or worse yet coffee all over my computer monitor. She's one of those people that doesn't seem to have any self-esteem issues. She's herself first and foremost and last but certainly not least. She's a riot, truly.

She's worked for her department for decades and is amazing at her job and Xerox machines tremble when they hear her voice. Have I mentioned that she's funny? Oh yea, I guess I did. A few weeks ago, while walking to the ladies restroom, which happens to be located in our office, she ran into a wall. One of my co-workers put a sign up on it, declaring that it was V's wall. We all laughed hysterically when a few hours later, she came in again and ran into the same wall!

For a few minutes I thought she'd done it just to make us laugh, but I realized that she had, in fact, run into the wall again! As you can imagine, we have teased her mercilessly and she took it like a champ, as always.

Today, as we were having a cup of coffee, we started talking about song lyrics that we have mangled in our lifetimes. I started with a story about how my son had burned a special CD for me and everytime (nearly) that we went somewhere he would put it in and we would sing it, loud and proud!

Sometimes his friends would be with us, but that wouldn't stop me...I'd sing along, despite their snickering, which I always attributed to my inability to carry a tune.

Eventually, however, I discovered the reason for their laughter...it wasn't my singing, it was my distortion of the lyrics to my favorite song...apparently Duran Duran didn't write a song entitled "Hungry Like the Wall".

After hearing my story, V told one of her own, involving lots of people and her complaint that it was the dumbest song she'd ever heard...

It only took her a few decades to determine that the song was actually "Living on Tulsa Time".

Who'da thunkitt?

Bleh...

Tell me something funny...make me laugh.

Please?

To Uncle John, with love

Uncle John died of complications of surgery and life at 4AM this morning. We are, to say the least, mourning the loss of our favorite uncle.



The hospital called yesterday while my brother and I were cleaning up John's house in anticipation of his return home.

They told us his blood pressure was falling and his kidneys shutting down. They were taking him to the cath lab to see if it had something to do with his heart.


Mike and I took off for Billings. The doctors did their best, but there were too many things going wrong at the same time.

Cousin Kay was with him when he passed on. She is the most spiritual person I know and as hard as it was for her, we are very thankful that she was there for him.

He knew, right up until the last few minutes, exactly what was going on and made the choice to accept the pain medications that ended his life.


Uncle John has been a part of nearly every aspect of our lives for as long as I can remember. I really can't imagine life without him.


John's main concern at the end of his life (as it had been since she came to him), was for his beloved dog, Tilley. We will do our best to make her remaining years happy.

Home

Just a brief note to wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas. Things have been crazy here, as it seems they have mostly been since I came home.

I blogged about my dad being hospitalized with pneumonia over Thanksgiving and I want to let you all know he is doing very well now. He spends most of his days "paddling" around the nursing home, chit chatting with the staff and other residents. He even played checkers with another resident yesterday! Rumor has it they didn't exactly follow the rules, but I figure if you want to make up your own rules at the age of 85, go for it, you've earned the right!

Continuing with the trend of elderly family members being hospitalized during the holidays, my favorite uncle spent Christmas in the Billings Hospital. My brother had taken him to the local hospital at 12:30 AM on Monday. The doctor mistakenly identified a hernia as the cause of his excruciating pain and sent him home with a truss.

Several hours later the pain became unbearable and Mike brought him to Columbus and I took him on to Billings to a hospital there. The doctors did a cat scan and he was in surgery an hour later. They discovered a cancerous blockage in his colon. The doctors are quite certain they got it all, but sent off lymph nodes to the lab to be sure.

Needless to say, Uncle missed out on the family Christmas celebration, but we are thrilled that he is doing well and should be coming home tomorrow or Sunday.

This is just one more reason I am thankful to be home and very grateful that I am able to be here now, when both my dad and uncle need me.

I guess you really can go home...

Timing is everything...

Things happen for a reason. Be they good, bad or indifferent, if you keep an open mind, I believe you will see a reason behind everything.

While I hadn’t really planned on quitting my job the way that I did, the timing really couldn’t have been any better.

I had just mailed my resignation letter, when dad got sick with pneumonia.

I spent two nights with him at the nursing home and he just wasn’t getting any better, so my brother and I decided to break the living will and have him admitted to the local hospital for more aggressive treatment.

The doctor and nurses pumped him full of fluids and antibiotics and gave him breathing treatments every few hours. They could not have been nicer to him or to me. In fact they doted on me as if I were a patient most of the time.

They tried, gently, to let me know that he might not make it, but me being me and all, didn’t want to consider that possibility. I carried on as if he were wide awake, talking to him and telling him how much better he was getting. Mike came in before and after work and the cousins came to see him as often as possible as well.

It was a tough fight, the first couple of days he didn’t respond very well to treatment. He wouldn’t eat anything and barely woke up most of the time. I napped by his bedside, holding his hand and telling him I loved him. I have to say there were times when I was afraid to close my eyes for fear he would pass away while I slept…

Along about day four, dad started to rally. He was hungry, a very good sign!

It was decided that he had aspiration pneumonia, which is caused by the inability to swallow properly. The food goes down into the lungs and causes pneumonia. A very wonderful speech pathologist came in and worked with dad on his swallowing. Food was ground and liquids were thickened. Dad was soon eating like his old self!

Soon daddy was back in his wheelchair, paddling around the hospital, grinning at the nurses, and then it was time to return to the nursing home. The nurses were sad (but happy, If you know what I mean) to see him leave, but the nursing home patients and staff were ecstatic!

Things happen for a reason. If I hadn’t quit my job when I did, I would not have been able to spend all those days and nights with dad. I am not saying that I think he wouldn’t have made it without me, because I know how strong he is and how much he enjoys life, I’m just saying that I would have felt awful if I had not been able to be there for him.

The timing of my job resignation could not have been better for another reason too. The day after I officially decided not to return, I read a help wanted ad in the local paper. Applications were due at 4:30 , Friday (the next day), so I updated my resume’ and filled out the forms. I made it to the HR office with 20 minutes to spare.

On Monday they called to set up an interview. The following Monday I interviewed for the position and they called me at 8 am the next morning to offer me the job. Of course I took it! The pay is good and the benefits are outstanding! The biggest “perk” is being about 2 minutes from dad. I eat lunch with him every day and go see him when I get off of work at 5.

It doesn’t get much better than that, does it?

I am very thankful

I have been a blog slacker lately, but for good reason. Dad has been in the hospital with aspiration pneumonia, which is fairly common in patients with Parkinson's disease. It was touch and go for awhile, but he is doing much better now and will most likely be returning to the nursing home tomorrow.


The staff at the hospital has been wonderful to him and are going to miss him, but the folks at the nursing home are excited that he is returning.

In other news, Wolf DID make a it home for Thanksgiving and a wonderful time was had by all. We had a huge family gathering in Billings and then went to see dad. He ate a monstrous meal of pureed turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie and whipped cream.

I forgot my camera, but Wolf took quite a few with his cell phone and will send them to me when he gets back to Denver. He is on the way as I write this post. The roads are nasty, so please say a little prayer for his safety if you would.

I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving, and I will try to post more frequently in the future.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes...

It's official. I've resigned my job and am moving on with my life. I gave so much of myself to my work that there was nothing left for me. I plan to change that and am, in fact, doing so as I type.

With the help of some wonderful friends and family members, I have moved from my apartment in Forsyth. Emily and I are happily ensconced in our new digs and enjoying it very much.

I am doing some part-time work on web design and graphic art work and may also be doing some photography. It seems odd to be making money doing the things that I love, but I'm not complaining.

In other news, my son may be coming home for Thanksgiving and if so we are planning a huge family bash. I promise this time there will be pictures.

I have a lot going on right now and will fill you all in on the details when I have more time. Suffice it to say I am healing well and enjoying all that life has to offer.