I learned a lesson about slander and anonymous messages during my first years as a pastor. A woman with whom I worked when I managed the chaplain's program at the local hospital lost her husband to cancer a year or so after we met. In her grief, she did a few questionable things, but I have never been one to judge others. One afternoon, in her office at the hospital, she told me this story:
She was a very active member of the local Roman Catholic Church. A few days before she told me the story, the senior priest had asked to see her. When she walked into his office, he handed her a letter in an envelope. (She said that the letter was nasty and accusatory). After giving her the envelope, the priest said, "Before I read letters dealing with other people, I look at the signature. Once I realized this letter was about you, I stopped reading and looked for the signature of the author. There was none, so I didn't read any further. The letter is yours, to do with as your wish."
Since hearing her story I have followed the same procedure.
This didn't post with my first attempt, so I'm trying again.
I learned a lesson about slander and anonymous messages during my first years as a pastor. A woman with whom I worked when I managed the chaplain's program at the local hospital lost her husband to cancer a year or so after we met. In her grief, she did a few questionable things, but I have never been one to judge others. One afternoon, in her office at the hospital, she told me this story:
She was a very active member of the local Roman Catholic Church. A few days before she told me the story, the senior priest had asked to see her. When she walked into his office, he handed her a letter in an envelope. (She said that the letter was nasty and accusatory). After giving her the envelope, the priest said, "Before I read letters dealing with other people, I look at the signature. Once I realized this letter was about you, I stopped reading and looked for the signature of the author. There was none, so I didn't read any further. The letter is yours, to do with as your wish."
Since hearing her story I have followed the same procedure.
Nick, thank you. It sounds like both you and the senior priest are very wise men. I know that I need to turn the other cheek and not pay any attention to what she is saying. That is clear to me.
It bothers me not knowing her motivation. I am at a total loss as to why she would turn her attack dogs on me, yet again. I have done nothing to deserve her wrath. I guess some people don't need a reason, or manufacture or imagine one. I don't know, but I would just like to see it stop.
Thank you so much for you wise and comforting thoughts on the subject. You are a dear, sweet man.
alas, it is a not uncommon matter her in the land of blogging. a few nasties pop by and torment. hang in there. they often burn themselves out and move on.
Last year I logged on one morning to find that some right-wingers had organized a little assault on my blog. I apparently said something they didn't like, and I logged in one morning to find literally hundreds of violent/vile comments spread throughout the blog.
I was so rattled I quit blogging for a while- but I got over it.
Since switching to moderated comments, I haven't had any problems. And as a bonus, I don't have to use that annoying Word Verification thingy to keep out spam!
I finally have some down time to catch up with my favorite blogs. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comments you have left on mine. You seem to have such a deep understanding of life in all of its comedy and tragedy.
When I am in Manhattan and a mentally ill homeless person comes up to me and says that I'm the ugliest person she's ever seen, it hurts me a bit, but I know it's not about me. It's about her and her pain, not about my supposed ugliness.
Buddhism says that a person who commits hateful acts is suffering, and that is the part we must focus on. I'm with Ms Little Pea. I will water the seeds of stability and happiness in her heart so that she may allow you your own happiness and joy.
Laurie, it's got to help that so many others enjoy and appreciate you and your contributions to their lives. Family, workplace and blogoshpere - you rock, girl!
Your anonymous commenter must be pretty miserable. One hopes she can find healthier more creative ways to deal with her pain.
Ur-spo, I had this happen once before. I wrote an article about wind farming and several trolls dropped by. I've never had it be someone I knew in real life though. I imagine you are right. She'll go away eventually.
Thomas, good point! I hate the word verification thingy.
Potatoprint, I love the way you think! Maybe if everyone sends thoughts and prayers of happiness and peace her way, she'll lose the anger in her heart. Thank you!
Ah, Laurie, you should not have to deal with people like that. Remain firm, knowing you are a good person and that the words of a troubled person can have no affect on you. Sending you good thoughts ...
25 comments:
That really sucks. I hope things get better for you guys.
That's OK, Laurie. I hope things calm down for you and your husband. Keep posting your awesome posts and put that little problem out of your mind.
Sorry about that. For your sake I wish her happiness and stability so she can move on with her life and let you guys live yours, interuption-free.
Squirl, I don't understand her at all. Thank you.
Mary, Thank you so much. It would be easier if we didn't all live in the same little town.
Mspea, All I want is to be left alone! If I never had to see her or think about her again, I'd be happy.
Um...leaving anonymous comments? Sounds a bit Fatal Attraction psycho to me.
Some people need some to get a new hobby.
Let me at the brontosaurus. I'll show her who's king of the forest. And if she's a hippopotamus: Why, I'll thrash her from top to bottomus
KC, I couldn't agree more.
Jock, you are my own sweet Cowardly Lion and I thank you!
Y'know, I have been know to troll a few blogs, and even drop the C-bomb when necessary. Say the word and consider her trolled!
Courtney, you are too good to me! What would I do without you?
Sometimes, we just have to bide our time; when there is no response, they give up. I wish you patience with this one, Laurie.
I have my moments...
Bonita, thanks. I think I'll need it.
Courtney, as far as I can tell, you have lots of (good) moments.
I learned a lesson about slander and anonymous messages during my first years as a pastor. A woman with whom I worked when I managed the chaplain's program at the local hospital lost her husband to cancer a year or so after we met. In her grief, she did a few questionable things, but I have never been one to judge others. One afternoon, in her office at the hospital, she told me this story:
She was a very active member of the local Roman Catholic Church. A few days before she told me the story, the senior priest had asked to see her. When she walked into his office, he handed her a letter in an envelope. (She said that the letter was nasty and accusatory). After giving her the envelope, the priest said, "Before I read letters dealing with other people, I look at the signature. Once I realized this letter was about you, I stopped reading and looked for the signature of the author. There was none, so I didn't read any further. The letter is yours, to do with as your wish."
Since hearing her story I have followed the same procedure.
This didn't post with my first attempt, so I'm trying again.
I learned a lesson about slander and anonymous messages during my first years as a pastor. A woman with whom I worked when I managed the chaplain's program at the local hospital lost her husband to cancer a year or so after we met. In her grief, she did a few questionable things, but I have never been one to judge others. One afternoon, in her office at the hospital, she told me this story:
She was a very active member of the local Roman Catholic Church. A few days before she told me the story, the senior priest had asked to see her. When she walked into his office, he handed her a letter in an envelope. (She said that the letter was nasty and accusatory). After giving her the envelope, the priest said, "Before I read letters dealing with other people, I look at the signature. Once I realized this letter was about you, I stopped reading and looked for the signature of the author. There was none, so I didn't read any further. The letter is yours, to do with as your wish."
Since hearing her story I have followed the same procedure.
Nick, thank you. It sounds like both you and the senior priest are very wise men. I know that I need to turn the other cheek and not pay any attention to what she is saying. That is clear to me.
It bothers me not knowing her motivation. I am at a total loss as to why she would turn her attack dogs on me, yet again. I have done nothing to deserve her wrath. I guess some people don't need a reason, or manufacture or imagine one. I don't know, but I would just like to see it stop.
Thank you so much for you wise and comforting thoughts on the subject. You are a dear, sweet man.
alas, it is a not uncommon matter her in the land of blogging. a few nasties pop by and torment.
hang in there. they often burn themselves out and move on.
Last year I logged on one morning to find that some right-wingers had organized a little assault on my blog. I apparently said something they didn't like, and I logged in one morning to find literally hundreds of violent/vile comments spread throughout the blog.
I was so rattled I quit blogging for a while- but I got over it.
Since switching to moderated comments, I haven't had any problems. And as a bonus, I don't have to use that annoying Word Verification thingy to keep out spam!
Hi dmmgmfm
I finally have some down time to catch up with my favorite blogs. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comments you have left on mine. You seem to have such a deep understanding of life in all of its comedy and tragedy.
When I am in Manhattan and a mentally ill homeless person comes up to me and says that I'm the ugliest person she's ever seen, it hurts me a bit, but I know it's not about me. It's about her and her pain, not about my supposed ugliness.
Buddhism says that a person who commits hateful acts is suffering, and that is the part we must focus on. I'm with Ms Little Pea. I will water the seeds of stability and happiness in her heart so that she may allow you your own happiness and joy.
Laurie, it's got to help that so many others enjoy and appreciate you and your contributions to their lives. Family, workplace and blogoshpere - you rock, girl!
Your anonymous commenter must be pretty miserable. One hopes she can find healthier more creative ways to deal with her pain.
Ur-spo, I had this happen once before. I wrote an article about wind farming and several trolls dropped by. I've never had it be someone I knew in real life though. I imagine you are right. She'll go away eventually.
Thomas, good point! I hate the word verification thingy.
Potatoprint, I love the way you think! Maybe if everyone sends thoughts and prayers of happiness and peace her way, she'll lose the anger in her heart. Thank you!
Ah, Laurie, you should not have to deal with people like that. Remain firm, knowing you are a good person and that the words of a troubled person can have no affect on you. Sending you good thoughts ...
Carol, thanks for the good thoughts. I will stay strong. She can only hurt me if I let her.
I will take a look around. Sometimes a different perspective can give someone a new view of things. :)
Sorry you are being sucked into someone else's inability to let go.
Hope she gives up soon. Maybe the temporary moderating of comments will discourage her, knowing she won't have a voice here.
Peace,
~Chani
Chani, thank you. I appreciate the help. I hope you are right and she gives up. :)
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