Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Love Hurts!

My printer sent me an instant message today. To be honest, I was surprised and flattered. I had been rather smitten since I met him and it seemed that he was interested in me too. He lit up when I touched him and always did an extra-special job of scanning and copying, but today was the first time he’d ever "hit" on me. The message was brief, but suggestive. It said that he had a “special invitation” for me.


To be honest, it’s been awhile since I’ve been given a “special invitation”, so it piqued my curiosity. Being the daring girl that I am, I clicked on his message. Don’t think badly of me, I’m not one of those girls who shops on the internet for boyfriends or picks up her men-friends at the local tavern, but like everyone else, I have needs and desires.

His message was brief; “You have been given a special invitation to receive rewards and benefits”. My mind reeled. What kind of rewards and benefits could he possibly be offering?

Did he want to take me away to the islands to snorkel and and lie on the white sand while he fanned me with a palm frond?


Did he plan to take me to Paris to welcome the spring?


Did he want to shower me with gems and take me to the mountains to ski and drink hot chocolate?


Deep sea fishing in the Bahamas?


Or perhaps a safari to Africa to photograph wild game?

Whatever my printer had in mind for me, he promised that it would make using him much more enjoyable. I was lost in my romantic, and slightly suggestive dreams…clicking to read each tender message in rapid succession. How would I tell my dad, my brother, my friends? My mind reeled at the thought of my printer and I on a lover’s holiday...

Then, as suddenly as it began, it ended with these fateful words…”Please enter your credit card information here”.

Sigh.

41 comments:

Mary said...

The suspense - the drama! You go, girl! Actually, you described something EVERY WOMAN WANTS. Ahhhh. What a nice getaway...giggle ;o)

dmmgmfm said...

Mary, I thought it was true love, but alas money got in the way. I guess that's a common problem for couples these days...

Unknown said...

Can't... Not... Make... Lewd... Comment... Must... Be... Crass...

dmmgmfm said...

Courtney, You? Crass? I think not!

Unknown said...

Never!

dmmgmfm said...

Courtney, I thought not!

WithinWithout said...

HA!!!

Absolutely excellent!!!

Men can kinda be like that, can't they??? As inanimate an object as a printer?

Promising everything...but for a price...

I'm laughin.

dmmgmfm said...

WW, I figured you would get it. ;-). Glad I made you laugh.

Girlplustwo said...

this one had me laughing out loud and made J pause the movie he was watching.

rock on.

Girlplustwo said...

sister. please, please email me the link to this post. i want to nominate it for a ROFL. This is so freaking funny I can't stand myself. But I need the link.

girlplustwo at yahoo dot com.

threecollie said...

The cad!

Anonymous said...

My printer just says things like "I'm out of paper," or "I need ink." It's always ME ME ME.

It never considers my needs...

NatureWoman said...

LOL Laurie! This was a great post!

thailandchani said...

Oh, gosh! Well, that certainly made me laugh!


Peace,

~Chani

Ur-spo said...

hohoho
i saw that one coming!

dmmgmfm said...

Jen, he sent me an email last night. I think he wants to try again, but if he only wants me for my money, I'm not interested. *Sniff*.


Threecollie, I agree!

Thomas, I'm just starting to realize that about him. If only I'd of known before...

Naturewoman (Pam), I'm glad you enjoyed...

Chani, good!

Ur-spo, I'm not at all surprised that you did!

LittlePea said...

Maybe I should introduce him to my printer and they could date. You wouldn't be jealous would you?

dmmgmfm said...

Littlepea, no, I wouldn't be jealous. I'm SO over him!

Unknown said...

What a great story. Can your printer meet my scanner? That would be something for another time.

dmmgmfm said...

Dave, it might be a match made in heaven!

Jacob said...

Ha!!! That was BRILLIANT, Laurie! Loved it. You know, Louis Prima wrote a song about this guy: Just A Gigalo.

dmmgmfm said...

Gawpo, glad you liked it. I might have to change the song on my sidebar. Thanks for the idea!

Pink said...

You're a hoot!

Thanks for the laughs you cheeky monkey!
xx
pinks

dmmgmfm said...

Pink, cheeky monkey? I'm flattered!

Squirl said...

That was definitely cute. I love the different photos.

dmmgmfm said...

Squirl, a night of insomnia, a new photoshop program and a strange sense of humor...a dangerous combination. ;-)

Joe Jubinville said...

Peripherals are dogs.

dmmgmfm said...

Joe, yes they are! :-|

mist1 said...

I sent lewd photos of myself to my printer once. It still hasn't IM'd me.

Dee said...

LOL..I liked this post. Great one.

dmmgmfm said...

Mist, if you'd have included your credit card number, you two would probably be in Cancun right now. Peripherals, *harumph*.

KC said...

Man, Laurie, what a player!

hee hee

dmmgmfm said...

Dee, I'm glad!

KC, no kidding! Totally unlike my cell phone...he loves me for ME!

kj said...

hahahah. awesome, laurie!

i'll be back. and thanks for visiting my neck of the woods.

dmmgmfm said...

KJ, I have a "good" used printer if you are interested. Ha! Thanks for stopping by.

OhTheJoys said...

That is hilarious! Congrats on the ROFL!

Kyla said...

Hilarious!!!! Here from jen's.

dmmgmfm said...

Joys, thank you!

Kyla, thanks for stopping by :)

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