It's Time

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting, and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and it’s OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought in to in the beginning, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that you want. And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect and you will not settle for less.

And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. And in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. And that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens, you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

~Author Unknown~

Two things...

I purposely didn't call my son when dad died, because I knew he had worked all night and would be sleeping. There was nothing that could be done for daddy, so I waited until I knew he would be up. It was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make.

As soon as he heard the news he began preparing to come home. He was packed and ready when he went into work to tell his boss, and left from there. He got to Absarokee at around 11:00PM. As my brother said, things seemed better after he arrived.

Wolf helped make the arrangements and did whatever needed to be done. Mostly we all hung out together, told dad stories and hugged a lot. Thursday Wolf and I went to Billings to spend some time with the kidcousins and pick up things that we needed for the service and reception.

One of the things that we needed to do was pick up dad's ashes from the funeral home, which we did on Friday.

We made the pick-up and as we were walking out to the car, I started talking about where to put the beautiful wooden urn that my brother had picked out. I said, "I don't know where to put daddy", and started to cry. My son put the urn in the front seat and came around to my side of the car and hugged me. We stood there for a long time, while I cried and cried.

There was a brief silence and as I was about to begin crying again my son said "you smell like cat food, but nice". I went from hysterical crying to hysterical laughter in the blink of an eye. I had been keeping my cat's food and water in my clothes closet and apparently the odor had been absorbed into my clothing.

I learned two things that day:

1. I have a son who can make me laugh on one of the saddest days of my life and


2. I needed to find a new place to feed my cat.

He later told me that he just didn't know what to say.

I'd say he did.

Now if he'd just quit calling me Friskies...

Cut and Paste

I have had several emails asking if I was back at work, how I was doing and how I was feeling. This is the answer to one of those emails. Because I really don't have a lot of energy for writing, I thought I would just cut and paste it and use it as a blog post.

See how I am?

I went back to work on Tuesday. I took Monday off to clear things out of daddy’s room. We still have the bed to move out, but otherwise we are done. We gave dad’s TV to his roommate, along with his DVD player and VCR, the wall unit that held those items and a few other pieces of furniture. Danny was thrilled with the TV…he didn’t even have one before he became dad’s roommate, so getting a big flat panel hi-def wall mounted TV was a big thing to him, but I think he was almost as thrilled to receive all of daddy’s ball caps. He is a man of simple pleasures. We also gave him daddy’s electric lounge chair…which he used most of the time anyway. We are taking the bed to Cousin Sharon, who is on her last legs…she is also getting the other electric lounge chair we had put in the parlor at the nursing home. My brother and Cousin Dan are going to deliver those things to her this weekend.

The service was beautiful. After weeks of snowing and blowing, the day turned out perfectly clear, and all the snow had melted off the ground. We had the service at the cemetery, which has an incredible view of the mountains daddy loved so much. I’ve never seen the mountains so big…as if they were welcoming him home. There were over 100 people there, including Wolf’s half-sister who came in from Wyoming and people Mike and I went to school with, some I hadn’t seen in decades. It truly was lovely. My best friend Barb played her guitar and sang "Let us Walk in the Light", which is a hauntingly beautiful song and entirely appropriate for the occasion. The service ended with a 21 gun salute, presentation of the flag and taps which nearly brought me to my knees crying, but it was all so beautiful…

I am still going to the nursing home at noon every day. It’s hard, because I expect him to be sitting in the dining room waiting for me, but there are a lot of people that depend on me to cheer them up, feed them and pick things up for them at the store…I can’t let them down. I am not, however, going after work, it’s just too hard because that was when he was wide awake and usually pretty with it and I’m just not ready to go there…so I need to find something to do with my evenings. Last night I spent an hour picking lint off of a sweater while visiting my brother who was making a carrot cake to take to the folks at the nursing home…so at least I’ve got that going for me.

I know I still haven’t answered the questions you asked. I am, doing. Every day is a challenge to get through, mainly because he was such a huge part of my life. Every single day had daddy in it, and I loved it. I try to stay busy; walk a lot, talk on the phone a lot, meditate a lot, and cry a lot.

How am I feeling? Raw, as if every nerve in my body has been exposed. I knew daddy was going to pass on, I just didn’t think it would be this soon. I wanted more time. More hugs, more hand holding, more reminiscing, more rubbing his back, more of everything.

I know they say time will help, and I’m hoping that it will, though it really didn’t with mom, as I still miss her every single day. Right now I feel empty, alone, orphaned at the age of 52. I know that sounds ridiculous because I have a wonderful son, brother, cousins, and friends. But that’s the way it feels.

No words...

Dad passed away early this morning. There are no words to describe how much he will be missed.

I just wanted you all to know.

The diagnosis is in...

It’s official. According to reliable sources I have B.A.D.D., and from the look of it, a fairly serious case. There is no known cure, although sometimes it clears up on its own, sometimes not. There is really no treatment, other than time.

Symptoms include lack of focus, inability to sit still for long periods of time and the urge to move ones legs and tap ones fingers to the rhythm of life. Other, not so typical symptoms, but ones that I have noticed in myself, are the desire to drive fast with the sunroof open and stereo turned up loud, the nearly insatiable longing to spend as much time as possible outside despite the still somewhat wintry weather, and the yearning to interact with others on a face-to-face basis.

Yes, folks, I have Blog Attention Deficit Disorder. It’s possible you’ve noticed my lack of comments, posts and participation in just about anything related to cyber-ia. It seems I’ve discovered that real life is more interesting… more fulfilling…more fun! Not that I don’t love you all and enjoy hearing about your lives and passions, because I do. It’s just that living in the present, in the here and now are more important to me right now.

Maybe it’s the hope that spring is on the way, maybe it’s a new way of life for me, I don’t know. I just know that I want and need to interact more with people in real life and one way to do that is to spend less time online.

I want to sing (much to the dismay of those around me), I want to dance (steel-toed boots for everyone), I want to hike, I want to camp, I want to LIVE life to the fullest extent possible while still avoiding jail time! Ha!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I may post once in awhile, I may stop blogging completely. I just don’t know. What I do know is that I will check in on you all from time to time and I’d love to hear from you via email if you feel so inclined.

But for right now, I’ve got B.A.D.D., and it seems I’ve got it BAD.

Hugs,
Laurie

Lost Generation

I love this...I hope you do too.

Today I

...laughed in amusement at my bosses bad mood rather than became annoyed like my co-workers.

...held my cat on my shoulder and watched the deer forage for food in the back yard.

...walked 34 blocks, once again getting brain freeze without benefit of eating ice cream, and would have walked more if time hadn't been an issue.

...watched in awe as a man I have known my whole life was uplifted by his wife in the nursing home as he recoverd from a stroke.

...wondered if I would ever be so blessed as to have a man in my life that would be there for me if I were ever in that position.

...slammed so hard on my brakes to avoid a deer running across the road that the groceries I had placed in the back seat ended up in the front seat.

...gave in when my cat demanded I give her affection, rather than continue with this list.

What did you do today?

Getting the *ell out of Dodge for awhile

Where I am…

INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...COLUMBUS...ABSAROKEE
920 AM MDT TUE MAR 17 2009

...WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECT UNTIL 4 PM MDT THIS AFTERNOON...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN BILLINGS HAS ISSUED A WINTER
STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW...WHICH IS IN EFFECT
UNTIL 4 PM MDT THIS AFTERNOON.

SNOW...HEAVY AT TIMES WILL CONTINUE IN BANDS OVER SOUTHERN
PORTIONS OF THE WARNED AREA. THERE WILL BE SOME AREAS THAT SEE A
SIGNIFICANT BREAK IN SNOWFALL...WHILE OTHER AREAS WILL SEE
PERSISTENT HEAVY SNOWFALL FOR SEVERAL HOURS. REPORTS THIS MORNING
ARE THAT AROUND 10 INCHES OF SNOW HAS FALLEN IN SOME LOCATIONS OF
THE WARNED AREA ALREADY...WITH AN ADDITIONAL 3 TO 5 INCHES
EXPECTED BY THIS AFTERNOON WITH THE HEAVIER SNOW BANDS. THE
HEAVIEST SNOWFALL WILL IN THE HIGHER BUTTES OF STILLWATER COUNTY.
SNOW ACCUMULATION WILL MAINLY BE ON GRASS COVERED SURFACES WITH
ROADWAYS REMAINING SLUSH COVERED OR WET.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A WINTER STORM WARNING MEANS SIGNIFICANT AMOUNTS OF SNOW...
SLEET...AND ICE ARE EXPECTED OR OCCURRING. STRONG WINDS ARE ALSO
POSSIBLE. THIS WILL MAKE TRAVEL VERY HAZARDOUS OR IMPOSSIBLE.

Where I’m going…

Today: A mix of clouds and sun. High 69F. Winds WNW at 10 to 20 mph.
Tonight: Mostly cloudy skies early, then partly cloudy after midnight. Low 42F. Winds W at 10 to 15 mph.
Tomorrow: Mainly cloudy. Slight chance of a rain shower. High 62F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph.
Tomorrow night: A few clouds. Slight chance of a shower through the evening. Low 38F. Winds SSE at 5 to 10 mph.
Thursday: Plenty of sun. Highs in the upper 60s and lows in the low 40s.
Friday: Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the mid 40s.
Saturday: Mix of sun and clouds. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the low 40s.

Who knows…I might not come back.

A fork in the road...

My very wise friend told me to write a list of all of the reasons I could think of to continue down a road I have been following for some time. Then she told me to write a list of reasons NOT to continue down this particular path. I was then to make a comparison of the lists.

She said it would help me make a choice that I have been needing to make for quite some time.

I've made the list, I've checked it twice. I made the decision and now I am having a very hard time sticking to it.

Tell me, how do you make extremely important decisions in your life and how do you keep yourself on track to follow through?

TwoThree things...

There are three things I want you to know before I head off into the weekend...

#1. Sharp cheddar cheese and sliced avacodo on double fiber wheat bread does not taste as good as it sounds.

#2. If it is 17F, snowing and blowing and you decide to walk the errands anyway, sacrifice your hairdo and wear your hood. It IS possible to get brain freeze without eating ice cream.

#3. If you are texting to more than one person at a time and send one that says "I love you", be sure that the text goes to your son instead of to a male friend, or they might immediately text back and say "I love you too, hugs, muah".

And that's all I've got folks...aside from these words of wisdom:

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." Robert Heinlein

Have a purrfect weekend.

Just sayin...

These are some of the thoughts I have had on my 28 mile daily commute:

~If you pull out directly in front of me as I am driving on the winding two-lane highway that leads to my work, you had best be prepared to eventually reach speeds approximating the posted 60 mph limit.

~If you are on your cell phone, applying mascara and breast feeding your child all at the same time, please do the gene pool a favor and do not breed again.

~If there are 13 cars, 7 pickups, a semi and four mine busses behind you, it may be an indicator that you are traveling too slowly…either pick-up the pace, pull over on a side road or go home and never drive again.

~If you drive like a bat out of blazes, passing cars on blind corners and double yellow lines and find that you arrive at your destination within seconds of the first person you passed, you MIGHT have defeated your own purpose.

~If you cannot pass an envelope between your car and mine, you might be too close. Any closer and we better be dating.

~If you meet a car and it has its hazard flashers on, NEWS FLASH—there is a hazard ahead. Now is an appropriate time to put on your brakes.

~If you look on the side of your steering wheel, somewhere there is a “stick”. If you push it down it indicates that you are turning right, if you push it up, it indicates that you are turning left. This is available on all newer models and you really should try it sometime.

~If you pull out in front of me on the highway, drive ¼ of a mile at 10 mph and then turn onto a ranch access road, I may hunt you down and pummel you with a large blunt object.

~If you are hauling loose items in the back of your “pickup truck”, there is a strong possibility that they may blow out and be broken to bits upon the highway. This is Montana, ya fool; the wind blows here. If you are too stupid to tie things down, buy a topper shell or better yet move to where the wind does not blow.

And finally, last, but most certainly not least as I meet this Einstein every night on my way home from seeing daddy at the nursing home:

~ If you are driving your four-door Dodge Ram 4 X 4 Pickup with the 12 inch lift kit and the fog lamps as bright as the Seattle Airport Beacon, you had best either stay on your own side of the road, or dim your bright lights so that I might be able to see to pick my ditch.

By the way, that’s quite the commuter vehicle you’ve got there, Brainiac.

Thank you for letting me vent. I feel so much better.

A rant question...

I had a full-fledged rant ready to post, but I am going to spare you, and instead just ask you a question.

What would you do if someone in your family was very, very sick and their family was in denial or just didn't want to take time out of their "busy" lives to do something about it.

Here's the scenario:

N, has surgery for something her brother (and best friend) J had surgery for (and died from), less than a month before. In the course of her recovery, N becomes depressed and increasingly incoherant. Partly because she is grieving for J and partly because she has had to move out of the apartment she has lived in for 25 years and into a residential care facility.

The course of her depression leads her to develop what her caretakers believe to be bulimia or something very similar. The condition goes on for nearly 2 months and N is literally starving to death and getting more and more confused as the days progress. There is nothing else physically wrong with N, she just throws up everything she eats (and has been observed sticking her finger down her throat).

If you were someone who had visited N twice a day during this time and had witnessed her illness progressing, would you contact the immediate family and suggest that they call in psychiatric help?

As you may have guessed, I did that very thing and was told by the family spokeswoman that N was just fine, that her only remaining brother, also N, had been to see her on a regular basis and had said that she was eating and coherant enough to make he own medical decisions. She made it very clear that my input was unwelcome.

To me it seemed that they were willing to just let her die without fighting to help her get well.

It seemed her doctor felt as I did, he saw her this morning and immediately admitted her to the hospital.

So tell me, would you have given the family your 2 cents worth, or would you have kept quiet?

Senior Moment...

Since I seem to be having more and more of these every day, I thought I would share something I got in an email today. You've probably seen it before, but I think it bares repeating.

Cook til ya drop...

I'm not a big fan of eating meals out...it is expensive and generally high in calories, fat, salt and all of the other things that can be avoided when you cook at home.

Since I moved back, I have been doing most of the cooking. My brother works long days or nights and my day is pretty long as well.

When we get home (him at 6:30 in the morning or evening depending upon whether he is on a 12 hour day or night shift, and me at 8 or 9PM), neither one of us has much interest in putting together a dinner meal, let alone deciding what to make for lunch the next day.

What Mike did in the past, was spend most of one day of the weekend cooking everything he needed for the work week. I have carried on that tradition because it works well and it is kind of fun. I put on my favorite tie-dyed shirt, my purple apron, my pink, purple, black and red (I am such a fashion plate) pajama pants with the penguins on them and my big fuzzy multi-colored slippers and start cooking.

Today's fare included a massive potato salad (with red peppers because my brother bought a Costco bag of them and didn't want any of them to go to waste), a gigantic bowl of beef fajitas with fresh mushrooms, red peppers, onions and a tiny bit of sauteed garlic, country potatoes, again with fresh mushrooms, peppers, onion and to add some zest and protein, country style bacon bought from our local meat packing plant a bowl of steamed, glazed carrots and finally a large tuna salad.

I put fresh carrot slices, grapes and triscuits into baggies (no, not all in the same baggy, that would just be gross) and packaged up oatmeal and blueberries for the morning. I accomplished all of this in just under 5 hours and not once did I set off a smoke detector.

Now if neither Mike nor I have to go to the ER during the week for food poisoning, I will consider my cooking day a success.

So tell me, how do you handle meals and meal planning at your household?

Mission Accomplished!

Two of the men that sit with dad at meals are developmentally disabled. Danny and Phil are wonderful guys and my brother and I consider them family. Two of Danny and Phil's favorite things are parties and birthdays. How convenient that the two go so well together!

THE MISSION

A month or so ago, I was feeding dad lunch and Danny asked when my brother's birthday was. I told him it was coming up and that he would be 55. Danny said (and Phil agreed immediately) that we (meaning me) should put on a birthday party at the nursing home for him.

I thought about it for a few minutes and agreed, adding that I thought it ought to be a "surprise" party because I knew that Mike would not let us make a fuss over him if he knew about it.

For weeks we plotted and planned. I had serious doubts that we would pull it off as a surprise, since after all, the people doing the planning (including and possibly most noticeably, me) were in various stages of senility.

As time drew nearer, I went around to the staff and residents to invite them all the the event, which was to be held at 3PM on Sunday, February 1. A gigantic cake was ordered and ice cream purchased. Napkins and plates, banners and presents were aquired and still Mike had no clue what was going on.

The plans were finalized the morning of the big day. Cousin Kay and the kidcousins were bringing the ice cream and picking up the cake. It was my job to deliver Mike to the nursing home by 3, WITHOUT him realizing that something was afoot.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, the coffee was delicious as was the breakfast I managed not to burn. We puttered about, doting on the animals, doing some laundry and paperwork.

I had already told Mike that our friend Joyce was going to be at the nursing home for the Super Bowl party that afternoon and he had agreed to meet her there to show her some school photos that we had found in Uncle John's house when we were cleaning it out.

Around 2:15 we were ready to leave Absarokee and drive the 14 miles to Columbus to the nursing home. Cousin Kay and I were discretely text messaging back and forth as Mike drove toward out destination. Kay had accidently left her purse in a restroom in Billings and had gone back to retrieve it, but was once again on her way to set things up for the party.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

About half way to Columbus Mike suggested we walk his dog at her favorite fishing access along the Stillwater River. Not being able to come up with a plausible reason why not to, I said (grudgingly) "Sure".

Mike rambled on and on about a huge tree he had seen on his last visit. It had fallen across a large rock at the end of the footpath and he wanted to get a photo or two of it.

When we got to the end of the trail, I had to admit to myself that it was quite a sight and well worth being a few minutes late to the party.



As usual when I am outside, the time slipped away from me. We walked and admired the beauty of the Stillwater River.

Shasta, in all her glory, frolicked along the river's edge...


I, obviously, took some pictures and Mike did too...



Shasta found something to roll in on the ice and we laughed at her exhuberance...


We finally got a little chilly and began walking back to the car.

I was relieved, to say the least, when I got back to the car and saw a text message from Kay saying that she and the kidcousins had arrived at the nursing home and the party was set up and ready for our arrival.

I sent her a quick text telling her we had been way-layed and would be there in 15 or 20 minutes, so imagine my dismay when Mike suggested we take his car to the carwash before going to see dad.

I hid my frustration well, however, so well in fact, that after we washed the car (you should have seen me spraying and barking orders at Mike...it was quite comical and by the end of it both Mike and I were drenched), we stopped at the grocery store for bread and milk.

We finally arrived at the nursing home, only 45 minutes late and one of the nurses sent Mike to the dining hall in search of Gramp. Imagine the look on his face when he saw 40 or so people and this....

Yes, folks, he was surprised!

A good time was had by all...

Especially THESE GUYS (from clockwise; Gramp, Phil and Danny)!

SPLASHDOWN!

I got nothin'

Seriously, I have nothing. Not a thing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Nothing new to report, nothing old to update, not a darn thing happenin' here, but the usual.

And I LIKE IT!

If you have something, I hope it's a good something.

Hugs to all,

Laurie

Livin' on Toast and Tang, Hungry Like the Wall and other song lyrics I don't know...

One of the women that works in the office next to me is outrageously funny. Seriously folks, when she's on a roll, she makes me spit water or worse yet coffee all over my computer monitor. She's one of those people that doesn't seem to have any self-esteem issues. She's herself first and foremost and last but certainly not least. She's a riot, truly.

She's worked for her department for decades and is amazing at her job and Xerox machines tremble when they hear her voice. Have I mentioned that she's funny? Oh yea, I guess I did. A few weeks ago, while walking to the ladies restroom, which happens to be located in our office, she ran into a wall. One of my co-workers put a sign up on it, declaring that it was V's wall. We all laughed hysterically when a few hours later, she came in again and ran into the same wall!

For a few minutes I thought she'd done it just to make us laugh, but I realized that she had, in fact, run into the wall again! As you can imagine, we have teased her mercilessly and she took it like a champ, as always.

Today, as we were having a cup of coffee, we started talking about song lyrics that we have mangled in our lifetimes. I started with a story about how my son had burned a special CD for me and everytime (nearly) that we went somewhere he would put it in and we would sing it, loud and proud!

Sometimes his friends would be with us, but that wouldn't stop me...I'd sing along, despite their snickering, which I always attributed to my inability to carry a tune.

Eventually, however, I discovered the reason for their laughter...it wasn't my singing, it was my distortion of the lyrics to my favorite song...apparently Duran Duran didn't write a song entitled "Hungry Like the Wall".

After hearing my story, V told one of her own, involving lots of people and her complaint that it was the dumbest song she'd ever heard...

It only took her a few decades to determine that the song was actually "Living on Tulsa Time".

Who'da thunkitt?

Bleh...

Tell me something funny...make me laugh.

Please?

To Uncle John, with love

Uncle John died of complications of surgery and life at 4AM this morning. We are, to say the least, mourning the loss of our favorite uncle.



The hospital called yesterday while my brother and I were cleaning up John's house in anticipation of his return home.

They told us his blood pressure was falling and his kidneys shutting down. They were taking him to the cath lab to see if it had something to do with his heart.


Mike and I took off for Billings. The doctors did their best, but there were too many things going wrong at the same time.

Cousin Kay was with him when he passed on. She is the most spiritual person I know and as hard as it was for her, we are very thankful that she was there for him.

He knew, right up until the last few minutes, exactly what was going on and made the choice to accept the pain medications that ended his life.


Uncle John has been a part of nearly every aspect of our lives for as long as I can remember. I really can't imagine life without him.


John's main concern at the end of his life (as it had been since she came to him), was for his beloved dog, Tilley. We will do our best to make her remaining years happy.