Happy Birthday

Dale's Legacy Guest Book

"I love you so much too."

Dale

"A healthy body is a guest chamber for the soul: a sick body is a prison."

~ Francis Bacon, Sr.

Dale William Petersen, age 49, died at 2 am, June 3, 2007, of complications of a bone marrow transplant. He was just shy of his 50th birthday, which would have been on June 28th. Throughout his illness, he often told me he just wanted to make it to 50, and through sheer determination and strength of character, he nearly did. The medical staff called him the Energizer Bunny because he just kept going and going.

All of you who've known Dale in real life and through this blog know that he was golden; as good a friend as you'd ever have. I was lucky enough to spend a lot of time with him in the last several months. I know I am a better person because of it. Next to my son, Dale was my favorite person in the universe.

He was a dear friend to so many. Carol, a former co-worker of Dale's, loved him with all her heart and he loved her just as much. She had planned to come visit him last week, but became ill herself and had to postpone the trip for a few days. One of Dale's best friends, Darek, had spent several days with him this past week. Our Cousin Kay spent countless hours in the hospital with him in Billings and made two trips to Denver to see him as well.

I can't tell you how many of Dale's friends called to see how he was doing and/or sent cards or letters. One dear elderly lady even sent him a check for $20.00, which of course he didn't cash. When he was in Billings at the hospital, he had a steady stream of visitors. He said he couldn't believe how many people cared about him. To be honest, I don't think he had any idea how much he was loved until he got sick.

On Thursday, as I was preparing to leave him to come back home for a few weeks to catch up on some work that couldn't be put off, I couldn't stop crying. I told him over and over again that it wasn't because of his condition, it was because I had to leave him for a few weeks. He said he understood. I believe that he did. I also believe that he knew his time on earth was nearing an end.

He kept telling me how much he loved me and of course I responded in kind. I told him he was my best friend and he looked at me with those big beautiful blue eyes of his and told me that I was his. His last words to me were, "I love you so much" to which I responded, "I love you so much too". I really didn't think it would be the last words I'd ever say to him.

Through all of this, through every setback and every bad day, I believed that he would survive. My faith never wavered. My dearest friends told me in many gentle ways to prepare myself for the possibility that he wouldn't survive, but in all honesty, I wouldn't or couldn't let my mind go there for fear that letting any doubt in would be evident in my interactions with Dale. I wanted nothing but positivity surrounding him.

I can't help but wish I had stayed.

My son has updated his blog with a heartfelt post about Dale. During the last several months, Dale and Nels (Wolf) have become extremely close. In fact Dale often told me that if he could have chosen a son, he'd have chosen Nels. The feeling was mutual. Dale had become the father my son had never really had. Wolf is broken hearted over Dale's passing and I'd appreciate it if you'd read the post and leave a comment if you are so inclined.

Thank you all for being there for us.

We love you.

If well wishes were fishes, we'd have a pond full...

Update 6-2-07
"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever."
~Margaret Cho

They are giving Dale the new anti-rejection drug that has the potential to eradicate the Graft Vs Host disease in his liver. It was started yesterday and according to the doctor's it will take about a week for any noticeable improvement.

According to the nurse that cared for him until 7 am, he had a bit of trouble breathing early this morning so he is on a mask that helps force the oxygen into his lungs. He continues to receive platelets on a regular basis, so of course, I ask again that you go out and donate if you can.

Thank you all for caring.

We love you.

Update 5-31-07

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."

~ Helen Keller

Dale and his nurses cannot believe the number of cards, letters, photos and miscellaneous other items he continues to receive. Most days he is presented with at least 2 or 3 cards and some days it's more than that. Even when he's confused, he talks about how fortunate he is and how much he loves getting mail each day. He can't believe that people he's never met care enough to take the time to let him know they are thinking about him.

On Tuesday, it rained buckets here in Denver. The room Dale was in sprung a leak, and he had to be moved to the room next to him. As it always is, it was quite the ordeal to get him situated again. They sent me out for a walk while they were doing it and when I returned to his new room I was delighted to find that the nurse had not only opened the cards he'd received that day, but she had also put them up in his room as you can see in the photo at the top of the page. Thank you Carol!

Included in his mail yesterday was this placard, sent from Pink. She ran in the Race for Life in the United Kingdom and as you can see, she raced for Dale. When I talked to Dale about it, he was so touched that he cried.

Because I went back to Forsyth for 10 days, I haven't been able to keep a complete list of all of the cards, photos and miscellaneous other things that Dale has received. Envelopes were thrown away and I found envelopes that did not have cards in them. Dale has been moved so many times, it is hard to know exactly where everything is, though I did go on a reconnaissance mission to locate missing items when he was moved to ICU. But here is the partial list I have and I want to thank all of you for your kindness and thoughtfulness:

Three Collie, Within Without, Ur-Spo, Jen, Tiger Yogi, Helen (the Felon), Courtney and her get well fishes card (ha ha), Bonita, Squirl, Bill, Cathy, who has sent at least 2 cards and many photographs (frog with attitude was our favorite), Pink, who has sent two cards and her race placard as well, KC, Mary, KGmom, Ginnie, Laura, Pam, who sent along some of her beautiful artwork, Thomas, who sent along a Jimmy Durante CD that Dale adores, Cuppa and AC, anonymous X 3, Nicole and Bobbi, who don't have blogs, yet, and of course Heather who started it all.

As I said, I'm sure that I've missed some of you and I apologize. If you'd like to leave me a message in the comment section, I'll be glad to add your name to the list.

For those of you wishing to send Dale a card, or another card, or a cure for what ails him (I wish), his new address is:

Dale Petersen

St. Luke's Presbyterian Hospital
ICU Room 18
1719 E 19th Ave
Denver, CO 80218

I have to go back to Forsyth tomorrow. As much as I hate to leave Dale in this condition, I have work duties that have to be taken care of. Making the decision to go is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't see any way out of it and it is breaking my heart.

Take good care all of you lovely people. You have touched our hearts and our lives more than you can ever possibly know.

We love you.

The Gift of Life--PLEASE Donate Blood Products

Update 5-30-07

"Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes"

This terrible picture of a beautiful person was taken with my cell phone. Normally it takes better pictures than this, but "someone" had overindulged in strong coffee this morning and had the shakes. Since cell phones are verbodden in the ICU, I was only able to take a few photos.

This is Dale's nurse, Carol. She and Peggy are Dale's favorite caretakers (shhhh, don't tell the others). He thinks the world of them and they seem to feel the same about him. He says he's the luckiest man in the universe to be in their care and I wholeheartedly agree. It is comforting to know that they are there for Dale and that they care so much for him.

Dale is about the same today, although a little more confused than he has been. Carol said it's probably because of the toxins in his system. It's not uncommon when the liver is compromised. They are doing everything in their power to help him, and that is all we can ask.

As always, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

We love you all.

Update 5-29-07

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

According to Darek, Dales dear friend from Billings, Dale is having a very good day today. He is having no difficulty breathing and is doing well with his various therapies. He is very upbeat and asks that his next visitor from Billings bring him a tub of his CD's! A few days ago, Dale was barely interested in his music CD's at all and now he wants a tub of them! I have to think that is a very good sign!

It is obvious that Darek's visit has been a godsend for Dale, as it has been for me. I took the first day off since I arrived and while I miss seeing Dale, I have enjoyed every minute of it. I had my hair cut (I finally put my detective skills to work and tracked down the wonderful lady that cut my hair last time I was here--just call me Nancy Drew), my nails done and I also had a pedicure (only $30.00 for both--life in the big city is beautiful).

I took a walk at one of the cities many open spaces in a downpour, thereby ruining my new hairdo, but it was totally worth it. I went shopping, got lost on purpose a couple of times (according to my son it's the only way to truly get to know the city) and then I came back to the apartment and started catching up on my work!

It's been a great day all around here and it has reminded me just how important good friends are in a person's life. Darek's visit couldn't have come at a better time and I want to thank him and thank all of you for being such wonderful friends to all of us here in Colorado.

We love you!

Update 5-28-07

"A bit better today"

Dale's feeling a bit better today. He is breathing without the help of the mask and his oxygen levels look good. The main priority now is to keep him motivated. He has been lying around for so long that it is difficult for him to move.

He's hooked up to so many things that every movement has the potential to kink a line or block off his dialysis, but the benefits outweigh the risks so I spent most of this afternoon urging him to work his fingers and toes and squeeze washrags.

It's an uphill battle, but I think I'm up to the task. He might not like me very much for awhile, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.

I didn't see Shirley or the kids today, but I did step in to see Bob. He is still on the ventilator and looks quite peaceful. I'd like to think he isn't suffering.

As always your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated, as are suggestions on how best to motivate Dale.

Thank you!

We love you all.

Update 5-27-07

"Dale"

Dale has had a setback. Because his kidneys aren't working very well, he has a lot of fluid built up in his lungs. This has caused him to develop pulmonary edema. He is still breathing on his own (Yay!) with the help of a mask and they suction him out on a regular basis. He isn't as alert as yesterday, but still smiles at me and tells me he loves me.

His nurse today was Peggy, from a few days ago. She requested to be put with Dale again and I am so thankful that she did. All of the nurses he's had have been wonderful, but Peggy, in my opinion, is the best of the best. She goes through the test results with Dale and I and makes it her mission to pull off as much fluid through dialysis as she can. She never, ever says anything negative to Dale about his health in earshot and encourages him in every way. I absolutely adore her and tell her so often.

The good news is that Dale's dear friend Darek is here from Billings. He spent quite a bit of time with Dale today and will spend the morning with him tomorrow. They are going to a baseball game at 1 pm so I will take the afternoon "shift". I could tell that Dale was happy to see Darek, although he wasn't really able to communicate it very well.

In other news, I sat with Shirley, while Dale was being hooked back up to dialysis. Bob hasn't been taken off of the ventilator because they wanted to give him more time to rally if he could. If things haven't improved for him by Tuesday morning, they will disconnect then. We talked about a lot of things, including what she will do if he doesn't survive. She really is an incredibly strong woman.

I hope you all know how much we appreciate your thoughts and prayers. You really are amazing and we love you all.

Dale, Wolf and Laurie

Update 5-26-07, Part 2

"Bob and Shirley"

Dale's liver biopsy showed that the Graft Vs Host is in his liver. Tomorrow they will start him on an experimental drug that they have had excellent success with. His spirits continue to be high and he is very much looking forward to his friends from Billings, MT coming to visit.

This update isn't so much about Dale, it's about Bob and Shirley.

The day that Dale was moved to the ICU, Bob was moved down from the ninth floor. He had been hospitalized with congestive heart failure and had been intubated about the same time as Dale had, which necessitated his move to the ICU.

Shirley, Bob's wife of 53 years, was alone in the waiting room when I walked in to wait for Dale to get settled into his new room. I sat down with my bottle of water and stared blankly at the TV. Shirley sat a chair away, staring blankly at a book.

I heard a sigh and looked over to see a beautiful woman about the age my mom was when she passed away. Her face was a mask of tension and her hands were trembling. I didn't think, I just reached over and placed my hand on hers. She turned to face me and her eyes filled with tears. "I can't let the boys see me cry." she said, and dissolved into tears.

I moved to the chair next to hers and held her as she cried. We didn't speak, I just let her cry. When she was done she went into the rest room and washed her face. When she returned, her sons were there. She smiled a sad smile and walked with her boys into the ICU.

Shirley and I have managed to find some quiet time to talk each day this week. She told me how she and Bob met, about the business they owned in California, and why they moved back to Denver to take care of her dad.

She told me that when Bob asked her to marry him she had jokingly told him that she would on one condition; he had to promise she would be able to have her hair and nails done once a week. He had agreed and she said that he had lived up to that promise, even driving her to the hairdresser in his 4 wheel drive when the weather was bad. In all the years they'd been married, she'd never missed having her hair done until Bob went into the hospital on Friday of last week.

She told me how much she regretted that she and Bob hadn't had any alone time in the last many years. If Bob made it through, she was going to make sure that they could spend their remaining years together, enjoying life. The best times of their life had been when they lived in California and she thought they might even move back there.

Yesterday they took Bob off the ventilator. He responded very well. He was talkative and seemed to be improving rapidly. He even teased her about missing her hair and nail appointment on Friday. She said she told him she didn't give a care about her hair appointment. We had a laugh over that.

She told me she had made plans for her dad to go into a very nice nursing home near her brother's house in Colorado Springs and she and Bob were going to finally have their time together. She was full of optimism as were her boys.

Today was a completely different story. Shirley called the hospital at 7 am and Bob was doing well. When she arrived there at 8, he was back on the ventilator and not expected to live through the day.

To put it mildly, the family was devastated. Shirley wanted to know how things could change so quickly? How could he be fine at 7 and dying at 8? How could her husband of 53 years not be coming home?

When I left the hospital tonight, the family was in with Bob, as was the family priest. They were preparing to take him off the ventilator. Shirley will not be taking Bob home to heal and spend their remaining years together. Shirley will be going home alone.

I know I've asked a lot of you all lately, but I'm asking one more thing. Please include Shirley and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Please pray that they make it through this night, and tomorrow, and tomorrow night and all of the days and nights to come.

Thank you.

Update 5-26-07

"I get by with a little help from my friends."

Dale continues to improve. He is quite weak, apparently from the antibiotics he was given to control the infection, but they assure me that it will resolve itself within a week or so. He has physical therapy several times a day and he is working hard to regain his strength. We are still waiting on results from the liver biopsy and I am hopeful that they will have those today.

One of Dale's co-workers will be arriving tomorrow and will spend several days here. Dale, of course, is very excited to see him. The ICU room is small, so that means I will probably not be spending much time with Dale for awhile, but one of his favorite nurses will be taking care of him Sunday-Tuesday, and she will keep me posted on his condition. I am so happy for Dale.

Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers. We love you all.

Update 5-25-07

"Fantastic"

When asked how he was doing this morning, Dale replied, "Fantastic". I just thought you'd want to know.

For those of you wishing to send a card, the address is:

Dale Petersen

St. Luke's Presbyterian Hospital

ICU Room 17

1719 E 19th Ave

Denver, CO 80218

Thanks to all that have sent cards, photos and letters. It means the world to us. A special thanks to Thomas for the CD. It really hit the spot!

Update 5-24-07
"Blessings"

Dale had a liver biopsy today. They fed an instrument through a vein in his neck and down into his liver. What they learn from it will determine the course of treatment they follow for the next several weeks. They have been trying to get him stable enough to do it for over a week and today was the big day. As I expected, he came through it swimmingly. When he got back to the room and settled in, he turned to me and said, "Dale has many blessings" and then he smiled. He's an amazing man.

I'll know more tomorrow and I will update you then.

Until then, thank you for caring.

Dale had all of his IV ports removed on Tuesday and then yesterday, they installed a port in his carotid artery. When he came back from the procedure, he was weak as a kitten and obviously a bit distressed. His neck wouldn't stop bleeding, despite a variety of pressure dressings and different types of clotting factors topically applied.

Peggy, his wonderful ICU nurse, held pressure on it for quite awhile and then I was allowed to help out and did the same for 45 minutes or so while they waited for platelets to arrive from another hospital. Apparently there is such a shortage of donors, that this is a frequent problem. So in the mean time, Dale soaked dozens of gauze pads and washcloths even while we were applying constant pressure. I've donated double platelets twice in the week I've been here and I'm scheduled to do so again tomorrow morning, but the need far outweighs the supply, so patients bleed and wait.

The platelets finally arrived and Peggy started them in his IV. Within a few minutes, the wound stopped bleeding. When she changed the dressing you could see that a huge clot had formed. It was like magic. Pure magic. I've never seen anything like it.

I know I've said it before, and I am not one to harp (OK, my son might disagree) but please find out if you are eligible to give blood products and if you are (around 60% of the population IS and of that 60%, only 5% actually donate) please schedule an appointment to donate. You can give platelets twice a week, up to 24 times per year, plasma 12 times per year and whole blood every 56 days. It's painless and only takes a little while.

Please donate blood, it truly is the gift of life. I've seen it first hand and it's beautiful.

Thoughts and prayers appreciated

In his better days...

5-23-07 Update
Just (de)venting here...

The vent tube has been removed and he is doing really well. He's very weak, of course, but talking (!!) and things are going much better for him. People say not to get too excited, that things can change in a moments notice and I'll get my hopes dashed, but I don't care! I'm an optimist and proud to be one.

I will update more later in the day if I get the opportunity, tonight at the latest.

Thank you all, once again, for your thoughts and prayers. I KNOW it has made a huge difference.

We love you all.

5-22-07 Update

It was a heck of a day at sea, Sir.

The doctors removed all of Dale's infusion ports today because they are thought to be the source of his bacterial infection. Other ports were installed and will be put to use tomorrow. Despite their concerns to the contrary, he tolerated the procedure very well and when I left at 7 pm to take his brother to the airport, he was resting comfortably.

In order for the procedure to be performed, it was necessary for the nurse to unhook him from the many machines he was on. She was on a tight timetable in order to get him ready to go to the ER and his wrist would not stop bleeding. I had volunteered to help her earlier, and she finally took me up on it and let me apply pressure to his wrist. For the first time I felt like I was really helping! Don't get me wrong, I know that my being there gives him strength and I'm all about that, but this was something totally different and it felt really REALLY good! But enough about me...

His critical care doctor had told me that the procedure would be difficult for someone in Dale's condition and that there was a chance that he wouldn't make it through. As you can imagine, I was Nervous Nelly, waiting for him to come back to the ICU. I hadn't told Dan what the doctor said because he was already stressed enough and I didn't need 2 patients on my hands, so I'm sure he thought I was a nut-job (even more than usual) when I spent the next 3 hours pacing the hospital.

But, obviously, the outcome was good. Very good!

I took Dan to the airport without getting lost or running anyone off the road (that I know of) and am now back at Wolf's apartment. Stick a fork in me, I'm done (for the night). Tomorrow it's back to the hospital for the day. They are planning on taking him off the ventilator (!!) as he has tolerated the weaning process very well.

Thank you all, once again, for your thoughts and prayers. It means the world to us.

We love you all.

5-21-07 Update, Part II

Today was a tough day. They took all the tubes and the ventilator out for the move to ICU and then had to re-insert them. As you can imagine, that wasn't very fun for Dale. This is all so hard on him, I can't even imagine what he's thinking most of the time.

The room is about the size of a bathroom and there's absolutely nowhere to put any of his things. His photos, the cards, the personal items are all in boxes against the wall. There's no stereo, no anything. They have visiting hours (which I will break, I guarantee it) and there's no room for anyone to be in there with him, unless you stand by his bed. I can't see how that can be conducive to his getting well.

They said that they moved him because he needs such specialized care and they don't have the staff in place on the bone marrow ward to do it right now, but I think that Dale believes it's because he's getting worse. I've told him the reason, but he doesn't seem convinced.

To be honest, I'm very upset that they moved him and I'm sure they are aware of it. I tracked down the social worker in charge of his case and she promised to make sure that the doctor's tell him why he was moved. She also promised that he was at the top of the list to move back into the Bone Marrow Transplant ward once a nurse becomes available and I will hold them to that. I know they are doing the best they can, but I am very afraid that this will set Dale back or worse.

We are going to meet with the Dale's medical team tomorrow to discuss treatment options and also to figure out the medical power of attorney issue. Dan needs to go back to Billings to take care of some of Dale's affairs and would like to meet with the doctor's before that happens. I'll stay with Dale until Dan gets back.

Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts.

Dale, Dan, Wolf and Laurie

5-21-07 Update

Because of a staffing shortage, they are moving Dale to the ICU. None of us, most especially Dale, are happy about it. The room is tiny and we can't be with him as much. He has improved a bit and I hope this doesn't set him back. Thank you all for your kindness and prayers. We love you all.

I'm giving platelets so this will be short. I'll try to post more tonight if I don't fall asleep at the computer again.

Hugs from Dale, Dan, Wolf and I.

5-20 Sunday Update

Dale has an infection that is antibiotic resistant. His critical care doctor said if they can't get a handle on it soon, they are out of options. Please keep Dale in your thoughts and prayers and hug the people you love.

Update 5-19-07

Dale has made small, but important gains today. He has some infection growing in his main lines, but they are watching it closely. His liver counts are slightly improved and his critical care specialist seems really pleased. She says she believes the improvement he is showing is the real deal and I, for one, choose to believe her.

Cousin Dan asked Dale if he felt like he could continue on this way and Dale was very adamant that he DID want to carry on. It was a defining moment in Dan's eyes, though not so much for me because I already knew what his answer would be.

Wolf came to visit and brought some more of Dale's jazz CD's. Dale brightened considerably while he was here. He kept his eyes wide open, answering Wolf's questions with nods and he was even trying to form words.

They have lessened his level of sedation because he is tolerating the ventilator well. They are going to be letting him breathe some on his own today or tomorrow, which according to the nurse, is a very good thing.

I read a few more cards to Dale today and he got tears in his eyes when he heard your messages. I hope you all know how much it means to him. If any of you are considering sending more cards, the address is the same, but the room number is now 3404. I think he will be there for awhile.

Overall, things are slowly improving. Some say not to get too excited or count on too much, but I'm a very positive person so I'm going to continue to be positive.

I thank you again for all the love you've shown us. Keep those thoughts and prayers coming our way.

With love to you all from Denver,

Dale, Wolf, Dan and Laurie

Update 5-18-07

Last evening Dale looked better. He wasn't nearly as "yellow" and he appeared more peaceful. When I told him a funny story about what had happened during the day, he grinned. When his brother told him that his niece Rachel had called, Dale turned his head and opened his eyes. He was unable to speak due to the heavy sedation and tube in his mouth, but he is most definitely aware of what is going on

When we were leaving I touched his arm and told him that he was strong and I knew he could beat this thing. I told him to keep on fighting and he shook his head up and down several times.

It is obvious to me that Dale is not ready to hang up the towel yet. We will keep reading to him and talking to him and playing jazz for him. If there comes a time when he is ready to stop fighting, I know he will tell us, somehow.

Please continue to pray for a miracle.

We love you all.

Update 5-17-07

Dale's blood tests were slightly improved today so we will stay the course and pray for a miracle. He knows we are there and is not in pain. I'm giving platelets now so this will be short. I have a hard enough time typing with both hands. Thank you all for caring and praying and loving.

Another Update 5-16-07

We were called into a family meeting today at the hospital. The meeting was attended by Dale's primary care physician, his primary nurse, social workers and several other people who's names and functions I did not catch. At this meeting we were told that some catastrophic event had caused Dale's systems to start shutting Tuesday morning. His last several liver tests had come back off the charts and not in a good way.

His doctor said that on a scale of 1 to 100, with 1 being healthy and 100 being deceased, Dale was currently at 99.9. His doctor told us that he had a heart attack on Tuesday morning and they had been forced to give him very strong drugs to control it. They would not be able to use those drugs on him again because of his condition. In other words, if he had another heart-related incident, they could not revive him. It was suggested that since Dale had voiced some opinions over quality of life issues, that we allow life support to be withdrawn. We were not ready, or able to make the decision at this time. They told us to take the all time we needed.

After leaving the meeting, shaken and despondent, the doctor came in and said he would like to try one more thing. Dale had already suffered through numerous blood clots, and so he wanted to try a drug that would prevent them from forming, hoping that the clots were causing the strain on the liver. We, of course, agreed to have them try the drug and it was started at 5:30 this evening. They will draw blood at 4 am and we should know more then.

It is really hard to know what to do, since Dale had not put any of his thoughts to paper, despite being asked to. I always thought he hesitated because he thought by writing it out, it would mean it was a possibility and he didn't want to even consider that. He is unable to tell us what he wants now, being sedated and quite confused because of the toxins in his system, so whatever decision is made will fall on Dan, and also on me. I pray that this treatment will work and a miracle will come to pass, but if not I ask for the strength we will need to make the right decision if the time comes.

When I talked to Wolf tonight, he told me of a conversation he had with Dale on Monday night as he was leaving. He said that Dale told him he just wanted to go home. Wolf thought that it meant he wanted to go home when he was well, but now he thinks that maybe Dale knew, as dying people often do, that his time on earth was ending and he was ready to go "home". My mom, Wolf's grandma, said the exact same thing as she lay dying not that long ago.

Anyway, that is the latest news. I will try to keep you all posted.

Thanks for keeping Dale and all of us in your thoughts and prayers.

Update 5-15-07:

I'm in Denver now. Kay couldn't get away and time seemed of the essence so I left around 1 pm and drove straight through. Dale's brother Dan flew in from Billings this afternoon. Wolf was given the day off to spend with Dale who is now on a ventilator and heavily sedated. The purpose of the sedation is to keep him from trying to breath on his own. We will talk to the doctors tomorrow and we should know more then.

Wolf read some of the your newest cards to Dale (kudos everyone, they really are amazing), and even though Dale wasn't able to comment, Wolf believes he was listening. Dale's heart rate was quite erratic for awhile, so Wolf put a jazz CD in the DVD player. The speakers are located right by Dale's head and his heart rate stabilized after the music was turned on. I am so thankful Wolf was here to be with Dale. No one should be alone in that situation.

I'll try to update as often as I can. Your kindness and concern means the world to all of us.


Thank you.

-------------------------

I had wanted to wait to update you on Dale until I had good news, but recent developments dictate that I do so now. On Friday when my son Wolf went in to see Dale, he was in good spirits. They teased the nurses and talked about the future.

Dale showed Wolf the multitude of cards and photos and artwork he had received from you bloggers and discussed what he would write back to each one of you. He showed Wolf each item and Wolf said Dale was fairly beaming with delight. He couldn't believe that people he didn't even know had taken the time to shower him with gifts. He was a very happy man and very thankful.

The plan they devised was to have Wolf bring in his laptop and type out the comments, then Wolf would email them to me for editing and posting on this blog. They agreed that Wolf would come over this afternoon (Tuesday) to work on the project. It would be Dale's first official ghost blogger post.

Wolf showed up at the hospital at the appointed time only to find that Dale's condition had deteriorated drastically and he had been moved to a different room. Dale was disoriented and non-communicative. He would answer questions, but didn't talk otherwise. His eyes were bright yellow. Wolf was beside himself when he realized that the nurses weren't able to give him any real information on Dale's condition because he didn't have the proper privacy authorization.

Wolf called me and I talked to the nurse. She was one that I had gotten to know rather well when I was down there and she finally, despite her reservations, told me what I wanted to know. Then she made arrangements so that Wolf could access Dale's information by calling a number and giving the security code.

The news isn't good. Dale was started on continuous dialysis this morning because he is in acute renal failure. His liver is shutting down and he is having some serious heart problems as well. What is startling to me is that he could go downhill so quickly in a hospital of all places, but according to his nurse, it happens sometimes with Graft Vs Host Disease. She said the situation was dire, but not to give up hope. Wolf will be talking to Dale's primary doctor tomorrow and I hope to have more information for you all then.

My son handled everything with grace and dignity. While I know he had to be shaken beyond belief, he held fast to the belief that this was a temporary setback and that Dale would shake it off and come out of it. Wolf stayed with Dale for several hours and spent the last half hour holding Dale's hand. After he left he went down to the parking lot and called me to reassure me that Dale would make it. I have a wonderful, strong, incredible son and I am so thankful that he is there for Dale.

Kay and I are trying to make arrangements to go down this weekend, if her work schedule permits. We will leave Thursday afternoon, drive straight through and stay until Sunday night or Monday morning and then come back to Montana. Our hope is to raise Dale's spirits and also give Wolf a break. If she is unable to go, I will probably drive by myself.

I know I've asked for your help before and you've given it more than willingly. I'm asking for it again. Please send forth your healing thoughts and prayers today and everyday until Dale is out of danger.

Thank you.

Gone Fishing

Tomorrow I am going to Billings to attend Cousin Dale's father's funeral service. I am attending out of respect for Dale, who is most certainly not well enough to go himself. Dale is having serious complications as a result of the bone marrow transplant. In essence, the Graft VS Host Disease is kicking his butt. My dear son, Wolf, has been visiting him in the hospital as often as possible. It's a real drain on Wolf, but he swears that it is what he wants to do. He is such a good, kind, caring person.

After the service, I am going to Absarokee for the weekend. I intend to vegetate as much as possible, although knowing me, I will want to do a lot of cooking and some cleaning while I'm there. I shouldn't take the extra day off of work, but to be honest, I need a vacation from my vacation.

I plan to take a lot of photos, walk the dog excessively, take long drives with Dad and Mike and do a lot of doting. I will, most likely, invite Uncle John and Neighbor Lois over for a big meal and send them home lots of left-overs. I know it will be a wonderful weekend.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, too. Please remember to hug the ones you love and take lots of pictures. Life is short, live it to the fullest.

Tell Me Your Favorite...

I have returned home. Kay had a family emergency so we drove through the night to get her back to Billings. I dropped her off and continued on to Forsyth. I arrived here, safe and sound physically (mentally...not so much), early this morning.

Dale was so sweet when we left. He tried very hard to be upbeat and positive. He thanked us over and over again for being there for him and reassured us that he would be fine. It was all an act and I imagine it took every ounce of strength he had. Leaving there was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Since I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, I have stolen borrowed this post concept from Ur-Spo.

The idea is for you to leave a comment linking me to your favorite blog entry of all time. It must be one that you have authored.

Also, please tell me why it is your favorite entry.

There will be an contest to determine the winner of the best blog post. The grand prize winner will be given his or her choice of (the usual) all-expense paid trip to Eastern Montana or a bottle of Annie Green Springs Wine, retail price $2.49.

Gentlemen and ladies, start your keyboards.

Thank you in advance for humoring me.

Of Water Coolers and Umbrella Drinks

When Kay and I got to Wolf’s apartment last night, she was very tired. So tired, in fact that she turned on the TV and promptly fell to sleep, gripping the remote. It was fine for the first hour. I enjoy the TV show “Frasier” and even though I’d seen the episodes before, I didn’t mind watching them again. However, when “The Golden Girls” came on, it was time to change the channel. Kay was still asleep so I tried to slide the remote out of her hand. Not happening. I tried again, a little more forcefully. She had the remote in a grip of steel. So not happening. She finally woke up a couple of hours later and turned the TV off and we both went to sleep.

Kay and I spent most of today with Dale. He wasn’t as uncomfortable as he has been, mainly because of the Versaid they gave him while they did the bone marrow biopsy, but I can honestly tell you he’s seen better days. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

This has been a difficult week for Dale. On Monday he had a colonoscopy, on Wednesday he had a spinal tap and then today he had the biopsy. When I suggested he take the weekend off, he agreed and said he was going to tell the doctors that his dance card was full.

Kay and I did our best to entertain Dale, and for the most part we succeeded. We talked about growing up and all of the fun we had when they would come to Absarokee on the weekends and in the summer. We talked about catching (and releasing) water skippers, and tubing the rapids of Sheep Creek (if you can call 4 inches of quickly moving water rapids, that is).

Even though he is not allowed to have food or water right now, he talked about my mom’s cooking for hours. He went on and on about her homemade milkshakes, the juiciest cheeseburgers in the universe and platters of tater tots. He kept making a fizzing sound, telling us he was craving a Coke, with LARGE ice cubes. But eventually he came back to the one thing that he truly wanted; an ice cold glass of water.

Over and over he said that he was going to buy a water cooler, the kind that you put a 5 gallon jug on top of. He was going to set it up right next to his lounge chair at home and have ice cold water within reach day and night. It was good to hear him focusing on the future.

The drugs were making him kind of “la-la” and he napped in between discussions, but it was a good day all-in-all.

I gave platelets this morning and it might have made me a bit loopy. I looked over at Cousin Kay and she was fiddling with her shoelaces. They were strange looking, to be sure and I couldn’t stop staring. She told me that they were special laces that didn’t have to be tied. For some reason the sight of them and the thought of them cracked me up and I started to giggle hysterically. I couldn’t stop. I laughed until I snorted (yeah, I know…what an attractive visual) several times, and by the end of it all the cousins were ready to schedule a psych evaluation for me.

I talked them out of sending me to a nut house and into going to the Islands. We made a pact. Once this is all over, when he is healthy and well again, we are going to take a cruise to Mexico. When we get there, we are going to sit by the beach, Dale and Kay on chairs in the shade, and me on a towel in the sun.

We’ll be sipping umbrella drinks.

How Are You Holding Up, Kiddo?

My wonderful, fantastic, incredible brother Mike has done a wonderful, fantastic, incredible thing. He has purchased a plane ticket so that my beautiful, talented, amazing Cousin Kay can fly to Denver tomorrow, spend the weekend and drive back to Montana with me on Sunday.

Why did he do this amazing thing? Well aside from the fact that he is the Very Best Brother in the Universe, he is also a very astute and kind man. He sensed that I was getting a bit tired and a bit overwhelmed and he also realized that even though I have to go back to work on Monday, I am hesitant about doing so because I don't want to leave Dale. He knows that having Kay here will make things easier for me and more importantly for Dale, and that she will be able to help me make the transition.

Am I not the luckiest woman in the universe?

The Dale Update:

Dale is handling the setback as he handles everything. With humor and strength. Even though he is in pain and is now on insulin, he remains kind and appreciative of everything that is done to and for him. He continues to be a great inspiration to all of us that are lucky enough to be around him.

Last night, between bathroom trips, Dale dozed off for a little while. I must have done the same and when I woke up he was looking over at me from his bed. "How are you holding up, Kiddo?" he said to me, reaching over to pat my arm. "Fine, Dale, just fine," I answered, with tears in my eyes.

I am going to hate to leave this man.

The Wish

The word is in on Dale. It is Graft VS Host Disease and it is in his digestive tract. It is a relatively severe case and they are treating it aggressively. I am not sure what all that entails, but I do know he will be in the hospital for several weeks at the minimum.

At this point, he is unable to eat or drink; they are giving him all of that intravenously. Last night, while we were talking on the phone he said his fantasy is to drink ice cold water, but he can't, it tears up his gut too badly to even contemplate. He said when he gets out of the hospital, he is going to buy some Dasani water and put one in the freezer until it gets ice crystals in it and then drink it all in one gulp.

What struck me about his wish is its simplicity. Dale has been sick since August of 2006. Most of that time he hasn't had the strength to do any of the things he loves; tinker with his 38 Chevy Coupe, work with wood, listen to jazz...all of his favorite pursuits were out of his grasp because he was too sick and had too little energy.

He didn't have much of an appetite during that time, except for the few days’ right before the transplant, yet his fondest wish is to drink a bottle of iced Dasani water. No juicy T-Bone for Dale. No shrimp or lobster for Dale. No tacos or enchilada...all he wants is a bottle of Dasani with ice crystals in it. I suppose his wish is born of thirst, the kind of thirst I can only imagine, but still, the simplicity of it boggles my mind.

How typical of Dale. His wants and needs have always been basic. He lives well within his means and doesn't ask for much from the people around him or the world in general.

As we ended our phone conversation, Dale, obviously hearing the sadness that I had tried so desperately to hide from him, said "It could have been worse, Laurie, at least they didn't find any more cancer".